My Sick Mind

I have mixed feelings. As I sit here listening to old Yes music, I long for the days of album art, yet wish that we had today’s digital technology in the 1970s. I want my cake, and eat it, too. If you're under the age of 40, you may not know what I mean when I say "album art", but it was a beautiful thing that peaked in the 1970s and died with the Compact Disc . Some of you may be too young to relate to my issue, so let me take you back to the days of vinyl, and some vivid memories that make me pine for the old days. It’s the summer of 1972, I was 15 years old, and I’m in the garage of my cousin, who had a fancy stereo set up out there. Among his collection of LPs was Jethro Tull ’s “Thick as a Brick” , which is an epic work that ran from one side of the album through the other. Inside the album was a full-sized newspaper, with fictional stories made up from whole cloth, about nothing in particular over maybe 10 pages. Listen to the record and read. Really don'...

It's gonna be hard to follow yesterday's nonsense, but anyway ... thanks for all your kind words. It's fun, really ! Meanwhile, Googling blogs has been made easier . I don't know who the guy is at the right of that screen, but I swear, we're not related. He has no hoodie. Loser. It's so nice to see the progress we're making in Iraq... For all of you who wish you lived in New Jersey (with me), be aware of the huge problem with the squirrels... TRENTON, N.J . - New Jersey has warned squirrel hunters near a toxic waste dump about consuming the critters because they could be contaminated with lead. The state Department of Environmental Protection has sent out letters advising that adults eat squirrel no more than twice a week and even less for children and pregnant women. Boy, those lucky kids! So, let's get this straight. Hunters are shooting squirrels (weird) near a waste dump (an odd choice for hunting, let alone squirrels) and then, eating them? Th...

It's Day 4 of the 14 days of Super Bowl. Did you know there are two black head coaches in the game? It sounds like a song, but it's more like a tiny little torture device cooked up by people who know a lot about torture - Televsion executives. Two weeks gives them enough time to examine and re-examine every silly little detail of all the Super Bowl participants and their kids. It's ridiculous to the point that Campbell's soup spokesman Donovan McNabb will be holding a press conference, presumably to talk about soup. One of the ancillary effects of America's greatest secular holiday is that it spurs sales of wide-screen high-definition televisions. Apparently, people want to see Prince in high definition. As for me, I'd prefer to see him with the sound off, being blind-sided by Tank Johnson - but I digress. It seems that those high-definition TVs are pretty good for sports, but lousy for porn. That's right, I said porn. A story in our local paper today clue...

Comics . Everybody loves the comics. Light, funny and something to take your mind off the stress of the everyday world ... or a cheap excuse for a post when my mind is a blank? You decide. OK, so as I write this, the Shrub is in Washington working on his pronounciation for his big speech. "Nuc ... Neuc ... Nuck... Newcl ..." Atomic. Fucking vowels. He's ready to inform us as to the State of the Union. As if we didn't already know. Another year of this nitwit, then we're done. The speech should be on the Cartoon Network. So ... who's next? That seems to be the "popular" opinion, although I'm not so sure she would be the wrong choice. She lived in the White House for 8 years, so you can't argue the "no experience" deal. She's bright, well-spoken and out of the rest of the field, she's clearly the standout. However, having said all that, I don't think the country is ready for (a) Bill's wife in the White House or (...

Switzerland's Martina Hingis in action during her fourth round win over China's Li Na at the Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne, Monday, Jan. 22, 2007. Hingis won in three sets 4-6 6-3 6-0. I could enjoy women's tennis a lot more if it weren't for all the grunting and screaming. I thought Maria Sharapova was giving birth on the court until I looked and saw that all she was doing was hitting a tennis ball. Geez . I wish I could find it, but I remember reading a magazine article that said it was a bad idea to yell and scream while lifting weights. Something about the pressure it puts on some delicate body parts...I forget exactly. Tennis coaches must be teaching it at an early age, because it's pervasive and unbearable. If the golfers start with it, I won't have any peace. OK, so it's a week and six days from America's greatest secular holiday (a.k.a. Super Bowl Sunday), and already I'm up to here (pointing at my throat) with t...

I don’t smoke, and I don’t hang around with people who do, but I have to imagine that it’s difficult to be a smoker. Not just the breathing part, which has to be difficult, too, but the social part as well. There is a stigma attached to smoking, and it gets worse every day. It’s a strange thing, the smoking. No nutritional value, no physical benefits of any kind to themselves or the people around them and no societal use – yet it continues. Last summer, our legislators in New Jersey finally got around to passing anti-smoking laws, which ban smoking in public, except on casino floors, where, as we know, smoke isn’t harmful. Slowly, other places are joining us. Last week, a milestone was reached when more than half the states had passed similar laws . In parts of Ohio, you can't even smoke outdoors . Come out smokers, we’ve got you surrounded ! It’s cold here in the Garden State. Cold enough that the smokers have to put on their winter gear. Most of them are bitter about having to go...

When the Deathmobile is heading toward the parade grandstand at the end of Animal House, Dean Vernon Wormer stares blankly into the screen, and to no one in particular, quietly proclaims, "I hate those guys." That's the same way I feel about the people running American Idol . In the end, they're going to win, because money goes to people who appeal to the masses. But I don't have to like it (and I don't) and neither do I have to approve of their methods for attracting audience or running what they refer to as "entertainment". Here's what the people running the show had to say about the ramifications of what I posted on Friday : PASADENA, Calif. - The Fox television network chief on Saturday dismissed talk of unusual cruelty by the judges on "American Idol" this year, saying he's heard from people who think the show has been toned down. "I think it's part of what makes "American Idol" "American Idol,...

Outside, the wind sounds like Superman taking off in the old TV show . Whistling and howling. 25 miles per hour, with gusts to 40. At least I'm not in Texas . I spent some time on the Internet , over at Ticketbastard , and picked up a ticket to see Blue Man Group , coming to the Taj Mahal (no, not that one) in Atlantic City in March . More fun awaits. Then, speaking of fun, I switched on the TV , and there's C-Span , my favorite reality show channel. There was a live feed from Wichita, Kansas and former Miss America 2001 Angela Perez Baraquio of Hawaii was introducing Sam Brownback , as he formally declared his run for the 2008 presidency . I'm not sure what Miss Hawaii has to do with a Senator from Kansas . Maybe Tara Dawn Holland is either a Democrat or too smart to get involved, but I'm not sure why he's running to begin with, so I'm at a loss. I decided to watch Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe . If I'm gonna feel dirty watching something on TV, it may...

Overheard at the Wawa earlier this evening, while waiting for my sandwich: A kid was ordering a sandwich for her too-hip-to-order-it-himself boyfriend (complete with knit skull cap and pants around his hips), when she stopped in mid-order to ask him if regular pickles were OK, because they didn't have "summer pickles". Why did she think they would have summer pickles in January? I can't imagine being so picky about pickles that it would matter, but the kid seemed to be pondering the question, when the sandwich artist behind the counter told her that "the pickles are all the same". Whew! A narrow escape. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm getting a lot of Google searches from my Michelle Manhart post the other day, along with the usual Britney Spears up-skirt no-panties and our old pal Cecily Tynan. I also got a page hit from a search for "2006 salary and compensation for Zoe Cruz". Looks like somebody...

Woodlyn, Pennslyvania - A Delaware County family narrowly avoided injury after a chunk of ice came crashing through their home Wednesday evening. The incident happened shortly after 8:00 p.m. in the 1300 block of Donna Drive in Woodlyn, PA. Ed and Penny Myers said they were getting their 4-year-old daughter ready for bed when the icy object tore a 3-foot hole through the roof. "There was this explosion in the room. At first I thought it was the TV shattering and glass, then I looked up and saw the hole in the ceiling and I was afraid the whole ceiling was going to collapse," said Penny. Wow, this global warming business is really getting out of hand. As if it wasn't bad enough that the Arctic Circle was melting, now we have to keep your eyes on the skies, too. Holy shit, Hannah. Chunks of iceberg are flying around. Watch the kids.

He was born Cassius Marcellus Clay, Jr., on this date in 1942. Few of you reading this know him as anything other than Muhammad Ali . He put Lewiston, Maine on the map when he beat Sonny Liston for the world heavyweight championship in 1964. No doubt you've seen this picture... Sonny refused to call him by his Muslim name, and Ali taunted him throughout the fight. "What's my name?" he shouted over and over, as he took the title from Liston on May 25, 1965. There is no doubt that boxing is a brutal sport, and I have soured on it since Ali retired. He brought a poetry to it, an artistry that the boxers today do not. It was a tough act to follow. Only it wasn't an act. He was a real person with real convictions. So much so, that he was willing to give up his sport for three years when the government stopped him from fighting as a punishment for his refusal to serve in the military during the Vietnam war. In 1964 , Ali failed the Armed Forces qualifying test be...

I love the e-mail. I rush to answer them when the little toolbar says "1 unread " . Today, this came, and I couldn't be more excited [really]... T rannyZone !!! You can't find a better site on the net with content like this! Some the hottest Trannys around the world in one site. That's right, 3 exclamation points! I'm saving that e-mail address. You never know when my car's transmission will go. Usually, they go without warning, so it will be nice to know where I can get a good one, fast. ...What? Then, I got another handy reminder fro m my buddies at Amazon . You remem b er the last one , and how much I apprecia ted that. This one I opened with a bit more trepidation [really]... It was an announcement of a new CD by v iolinist Victoria Mullova . That's right . Only this time, I was interested . Go figure. Now, the boys at Amazon's marketing department are r eally confused. I rushed to order it [really], so now, I guess I'll be g...

It's the third Tuesday in January. The Sixteenth day of the year. Nothing special, right? Au Contraire . It's a big day in history. For instance: in 1547 , Ivan the Terrible became the Tsar of Russia. No relation to George the Jackass, Tsar of America. In 1909 , Ernest Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole. Like we wouldn't have found it anyway. The guy had a heavy coat and a big magnet. Finding things was a lot easier when we didn't know where anything was. In 1581 , the English Parliament outlawed Roman Catholicism. Another great idea whose time has come. In 1919 , the 18 th Amendment of the Constitution was ratified, authorizing Prohibition. A dark day in our history. What a colossal waste of time. Have a drink to celebrate. It's the birthday of Sade (pronounced Shar -day), Kate Moss (pronounced Kate Moss), A.J. Foyt and Susan Sontag. Got the day off work? Those aren't even the biggest things about Tuesday. If you have watched Fox (not the News, the r...

After seeing tonight's 60 Minutes program, which led with the interview of President Bush, I now realize that Einstein's definition of insanity is indeed valid: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Good one, Al. Our president was on the program tonight, and was steadfast in his belief and determined that his course is the right one, regardless of what 68% of Americans think, most of Congress or even the people directly involved. Neither is he concerned that he is unpopular, unloved or disagreeable. When people are not concerned about how others perceive them, it is a sign of something more deeply wrong in their personal behavior. There are TV shows devoted to such behavior. That one on the Style Channel, where family members go into someone's closet and remove all the disgusting clothing that this person has been wearing for years, seemingly oblivious to the stares and ridicule of others. Generally, t...

WASHINGTON - The tiny parasite undulates under the microscope like some creature from a sci-fi movie, but this one is all too real, latching onto the sexually unwary with tentacle-like probes. Now scientists have mapped the genes of the nasty little bug that causes one of the world's most common, and arguably least recognized, sexually transmitted infections, called trichomoniasis. This image provided by the journal Science, is a scanned electron micrograph showing Trichomonas vaginalis parasites (green) adhering to vaginal epithelial cells (pink) collected from vaginal swabs. Here's the same photo magnified 10 billion times, which shows the two individual cells responsible for the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Scientists have given these cells the name Bushdickonus... This image shows the Dickonus virus that has attached itself to the Bushonus cell. These cells were captured from vaginal swabs collected from Secretary of State Condolezza Rice. Recently, the Rumsfelo...

U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Michelle Manhart poses for a photo in San Antonio, Thursday, Jan. 11, 2007. Manhart, who is featured in the February issue of Playboy magazine, has been relieved of her duties pending an investigation. Oscar Balladares, spokesman for Lackland Air Force Base, said, "This staff sergeant's alleged action does not meet the high standards we expect of our airmen." Hmm ... it's a good thing she isn't in the Navy . [reflective pause while you take in the potential joke ... ] And, Jesus, are we so politically correct that we have to say "alleged action" when there are actual photos? Either she disobeyed the rules and posed for the magazine or didn't. The Air Force spokesman (whose crew cut I can hear ) probably couldn't get an offer to pose for Field and Stream, let alone take his clothes off for money. What are they investigating, exactly? If the investigation is as efficient as most other things the government does, she'l...

The word is that I have managed to depress some people around here by posting horrible news that I happened to read yesterday. Welcome to the real world. I was asked to “lighten it up a little” in my comments box. "What do you say about posting some cheerleader pictures or something, hmm? Lighten the mood?" Here’s one I found. Quite the hottie, eh? Calm down girls, he’s spoken for...

There's a saying that goes, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" . In that spirit, I will just post the first couple of lines from a few news stories today. I'm going to try to sleep through it. Talk amongst yourselves. WASHINGTON - Unswayed by anti-war passions, President Bush was to say Wednesday he will send 21,500 additional U.S. forces to Iraq to quell its near-anarchy. He was to acknowledge for the first time he had erred by failing to order a troop buildup last year. WASHINGTON - There were 744,000 homeless people in the United States in 2005, according to the first national estimate in a decade. A little more than half were living in shelters, and nearly a quarter were chronically homeless, according to the report Wednesday by the National Alliance to End Homelessness, an advocacy group. ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Beluga whales swimming off Alaska's largest city are at considerable risk of going extinct unless somethin...

Dear Amazon.com Customer, We've noticed that customers who have expressed interest in Faith Hope Love by King's X have also ordered Create the Health, Vitality and Energy You Deserve: Energy for Life by Anthony Robbins. For this reason, you might like to know that Anthony Robbins's Create the Health, Vitality and Energy You Deserve: Energy for Life is now available. You can order your copy for just $19.98 by following the link below. Gosh ... thanks Amazon ! Actually, it sounds more like a strange coincidence to me, but what do I know? When I was busy ordering a King's X CD, I had no idea that my purchase was spawning a reference file that linked me with another CD by that scary guy with the big teeth that I see on TV way too much. I would have thought that maybe they would link me to his CD because we have the same first name. And, wouldn't ya think that the guy would catch a shave before they shot the cover to his CD? Maybe he saves all his hygiene energy for...

If you haven't done it already, do it soon. If you thought that maybe it was some sort of oddity or perhaps it was a flash in the pan or that it wasn't up to the hype, you were wrong. If you figured that the ticket prices were too high, or that perhaps there could not be enough entertainment to justify the cost, you figured wrong. The fact is, they don't charge enough. It's funny, smart and as full an evening of entertainment as you will ever experience. Trust me on this. They're on tour , and perhaps they are coming to a city near you (or directly at you). It is impossible for me to express in words what the show is about, or how much enjoyment you will derive from it. Just go. It's more than just banging on tubes. That's only some of it, and it isn't necessarily the best part. Go to the show. Either go to Las Vegas and see them at the Venetian , or catch them when they ramble through town. After you see the show, you'll put up a post on your blog...