My Sick Mind

We love our holidays. We're into a big one now, and even bigger ones to follow. This one, we are told, is all about giving thanks for something and realizing how fortunate we are to live when we do - or to live at all. Nice and schmaltzy, as the holidays were intended. But, we don't just like a holiday. We like a holiday with something substantial attached to it. I'm not talking about remembering war veterans, giving thanks or celebrating America. I'm talking about big sales at a store, eating and drinking. The eating thing is attached to this one, to the point that we wish people a "Happy Turkey Day" instead of using the more traditional Thanksgiving name. When I go back to work on Monday I'll be asked what I had for dinner on Thursday. When I say I had chicken, I'll get that quizzical look and the "What, no turkey?" question, which implies that I violated some sacred holiday tradition. In fact, the tradition is the holiday, and we have ch...

I'm never quite sure what we're supposed to make out of this New Year deal. Other than having to remember to write 2010 on things, I don't see that it matters much. As usual, the gym was packed today with new members. People who have chosen January 2 to develop a new lifestyle and alter the way they do things. That choice will become irrelevant sometime in February or March when they revert to the way they have been doing things for the other 40-something years of their lives. I have seen it every January for the past 25 years and I suspect I'll see it for 25 more if I'm around long enough. That is to say, it's human nature and we're susceptible to numbers and we feel as though the "first" of something is more significant than the ninth or twenty-third of something. It's why we overly celebrate even-numbered anniversaries of things and pass over the odd-numbered ones as though it makes a difference that it's the "Tenth-annual" ...

I enjoy going back and re-reading some of this crap. I enjoy it because I don’t remember from one day to the next what I’ve written, so going back a year or more is like reading something for the first time. I wonder how long it will stay here. Is Blogger like a time capsule or will I log-on 20 years from now and **poof** No more crap. The holidays are over, speaking of poof . As usual, it was a big build-up and prep (for some people) for what? The thing I remember about Christmas (when I used to “do” Christmas) was that thrashing and noise of the wrapping paper being torn open. It’s why I never spent a lot of time wrapping gifts. I’d find the cheapest paper I could and tape it together well enough to survive the trip. In a rush of energy, a half-dozen people would open their gifts and the chaos began. It was always so much nicer when it was just two people giving each other something. Those living room family gift orgies never did it for me. As you can imagine, I slept through t...

Today is New Year's Eve. What are we going to do? We're going to leave work as soon as possible (if we went to work at all), run home, get changed into that outfit that says "I'm not at work now" and run as fast as we can to some bar or nightclub where we'll join a bunch of strangers and count backward to midnight, then collapse in a heap. That's a holiday. Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are the only two days we celebrate that are "eve's." There's no Independence Day Eve or Easter Eve - that would be silly, right? What would you do on Independence Day Eve? Light a firecracker and blow it out? Easter Eve - shove some eggs up a rabbit's ass? Get the crucifix ready? Of course, tonight is amateur night. It's like Christmas shopping. People who have no business in malls are out bumping into people and pretend they're shoppers. They go to the mall once a year. People go out on New Year's Eve out of obligation, and mos...

Why is New Year's Day a legal holiday? It's the first day of the year - so what? Who says we're entitled to a day off work? I suppose it's because we'd be hung over or some such thing, so why bother opening the office at all? Wikipedia says it's been celebrated on the Gregorian calendar since 153 B.C., but that didn't answer my question. The explanation lacks sense: New Year's Day celebrates the beginning of the Gregorian calendar year. Festivities include counting down to midnight (12:00 AM) on the preceding night, New Year's Eve. Traditional end of holiday season . Those are some heavy festivities. Counting backward. They go on to tell us that when holidays fall on a weekend day, they are celebrated on the closest day. So, in two years when January 1 is Saturday, which day do we get off work? Friday, December 31? That doesn't make sense. See the things I think about. Try being me for a couple of days. I don't think you could deal with it...

The first day of the year. A bogus holiday if ever there was one. The malls were open, as were movie theaters, restaurants, liquor stores and supermarkets. The cashiers at the supermarket got "holiday pay" but the cashiers at the liquor store (next door) did not. Happy New Year. I figure , it's a holiday mostly because the hungover revelers couldn't get their asses up for work on January 1, so the government figured, "Screw it. Take the day off." I was awakened last night at midnight by the sound of store-bought fireworks from down the street. It continued for 23 minutes, and I found myself wishing that a tree would catch fire so that there would be some real excitement. It disrupted my sleep and did nothing for the cat's heart murmur. He didn't know what day it was. Here in the Philadelphia area , it's the day of the annual Mummers Parade. It started 3 hours late because of rain, and should be over by noon on Saturday. It's an acquired tas...