Me, me, me. Look at me!

I can't listen to Aerosmith anymore. I bought their first album in 1974 and I think it's still one of the best records of the era - and ever, maybe - but now? Steven Tyler is a judge on American Idol, for Chrissakes. What has happened to the world? How can I listen to "Mama Kin" now without thinking of that stupid TV show? Overdose on drugs and fall of a stage, but don't sell-out to that garbage TV, Steven.

There's a new show on The Learning Channel tonight called My Strange Addiction. What's it about? Glad you asked. The first episode at 9:00 highlights a woman who has been eating couch cushions for 20 years. The second episode profiles a tanning addict who visits tanning beds up to three times a day and a 44-year old woman who has been eating household cleanser every day since she was 12. What am I supposed to be learning on this channel? I'll watch, but I may not be able to sit on my sofa or clean my sink again. This is the same channel that brings you the Duggars (and their 18 kids) Cake Boss and Police Women of Cincinnati. No wonder people call television a wasteland.

Then, there's that jackass Glenn Beck, who had this to say about my favorite city (and birthplace): The area around Independence Hall are "the killing streets" and said that the city is "not a place you want to be." True, Glenn. We don't want you here. The thing I can't figure out is how people like Beck have a listening audience, let alone grab attention for the crap that comes out of their mouths. To put yourself in Beck's place (egad) check out these photos and imagine the killing that must go on around here. I feel lucky to have escaped alive.

It's all part of the 24/7 media that requires non-stop attention. If you aren't whoring yourself to the Gods of marketing you aren't doing your job. The more outrageous or ridiculous you can make yourself look, the better you'll do in the all-important ratings system that defines popularity.

Sadly, there is no shortage of people who either need an income or have no self-respect that are willing and able to make asses of themselves in order to feed the beast. It's a bigger shame that Americans are more than willing to eat it.

Pants on Fire.

Roger Clemens pleaded not guilty to federal charges that he lied to Congress about using steroids. Can a guy be convicted of lying about not lying? Isn't that some kind of double-jeopardy or double-indemnity - or double-something? I wonder if his accuser, Brian McNamee would go to court and admit that he lied about Clemens' using steroids? Probably not. One of them is lying. Which do you believe? The guy who doesn't have a potential Hall of Fame election looming and a national presence or the guy who, two years ago, we didn't know from Adam?

Three guesses.

Meanwhile, another big-time media figure was in deep denial. Pictured above is the crowd at the Glenn Beck "Restoring Honor" rally last week. Never one to allow facts to stand in the way of a good story, Beck said that "the media" was reporting the crowd as being between 300,000 and 500,000." As a frame of reference, your standard professional football or big college stadium holds 100,000. That means that Beck thought there were 5 times that many people at the rally. Next time, maybe he should hold a rally at a stadium so that, as they say, tickets are available.

How ironic is it that at a rally called "Restoring Honor," the host would lie about the attendance? Pretty ironic. Seriously, does it look like there are a half million people in that photo? The National Mall is a popular place during the summer. Chances are, many of those people were tourists, wondering, "Who the f**k is up on the Memorial steps screaming?"

CBS News hired AirPhotosLive, a company who uses aerial photography to estimate crowds. They say they do it with an accuracy of plus or minus 9,000. They estimated the crowd at 87,000; which is significantly less than a half-million, plus of minus 9,000.

Whom do we think is lying here? An independent contractor using a photograph and technology or a conservative talk show host who might be looking to enhance his popularity by inflating crowd figures at a rally that may not have been as popular as once thought?

Fellow liar and Republican United States Representative Michele Bachmann told supporters at the rally that "we're not going to let anyone get away with saying that there were less than a million here today - because we were witnesses." Can she be indicted like Clemens, or does being a member of Congress grant one immunity to lying? Probably.

Separately, when asked, Beck said that "my penis is three feet long."

You call this a party?

I'm not sure where these Tea Party people came from, but they seem to have found a voice in conservative TV host Glenn Beck and professional embarrassment Sarah Palin, who both appeared at a recent gathering of followers in Washington, D.C. Here is a quote from Beck, who seems to have forgotten the years 2000 to 2008.

"This is the day we can start the hearts of Americans again, and it has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with God," Beck told the crowd estimated at anywhere from tens of thousands to 500,000. Oh boy. There's the God thing again. As though God has among his priorities establishing politics in America. How big an ego does somebody have to have in order for that to make sense to them? God will watch over me because I'm so much better than anybody else. Those are dangerous thoughts.

"For too long, this country has wandered in darkness, and we have wandered in darkness in periods from the beginning," Beck said, at times pacing at the memorial. "We have had moments of brilliance and moments of darkness. But this country has spent far too long worried about scars and thinking about the scars and concentrating on the scars. "Today," he continued, "we are going to concentrate on the good things in America, the things that we have accomplished - and the things that we can do tomorrow. The story of America is the story of humankind."

For too long? How long exactly? How is it that in a scant 2 years since the last election, this group has determined that we have wallowed "for too long?" Would they have organized if one of Bush's relatives were elected president, or (their God forbid) Palin? A recent headline in the Inquirer proclaimed that Palin's "power" had served to get a couple of Republicans elected. How is it that a failed vice presidential nominee has any power at all? Where is Dan Quayle?

What worries me is that the masses are eating this junk alive, and the 2012 presidential election will become yet another media circus. Perhaps this one will be bigger than ever, since we seem to be enthralled with Palin's looks and not so interested in her opinions and people like Beck are interesting because they are on television. That much hasn't change since the invention of the device.

I'm not sure why they call themselves a Tea Party, since the original Tea Party was formed because they protested taxation without representation. These people are being represented. Perhaps it isn't as they wish, but I always thought that's what elections were for. I guess the term Tea Party sounds patriotic, and perception is what drives groups like this. The masses hear "Tea Party" and immediately think that they represent something patriotic, when in fact, they just spout anger politics and make people think that God will make everything right.

Maybe what they should be asking themselves is why Beck posted a list of things not to bring to the rally, including firearms (either real or simulated), ammunition, explosives of any kind (including fireworks), knives, blades or sharp objects, mace and/or pepper spray, sticks or poles. What is it about Tea Party activists and implements of violence that attract each other? Why did they think they would need mace and pepper spray?

Shouldn't their God protect them from the supposed wrongs of the world? Maybe He feels that He has wandered too long too?

Four hours of my life I will never get back.

Too tired to go to the gym, so I decided to sit and relax in front of my friend, the TV. These were my choices tonight:

Nancy Grace debating for the one-millionth time, the controversy over the fate of Anna Nicole's baby. Holy crap, Nancy. Open a newspaper and find something else to talk about, will ya? Please.

Dancing with the Stars, which, in spite of the dearth of stars, continues with the dancing. Even Cheryl Burke wasn't enough to keep me tuned in. Seemingly, for three hours it went on - some "results show" or something. "Results" of what, I have no idea. Boring.

On several channels, the ongoing nonsense over some stupid remarks made by a radio host who long ago was irrelevant, and only now has found a voice, common sense notwithstanding. Anus, I think his name is. Meanwhile, the piling on continues, with bystanders becoming interested parties. Include me out.

Jim Cramer screaming about Charter Communications, and telling his viewers that if they bid this stock up to three dollars, he "would never forgive you". Before he was through with his diatribe, the stock was trading at $3.02. C'mon, Jim. Your stupid viewers bid up every piece of crap you talk up, did you expect any different with this one? The power of TV.

Something on Fox called American Idol. I have no idea. I still haven't seen it.

Glenn Beck, professional jackass, interviewing himself (that's right) over the stupid remarks issue. Jesus H. Christ, the people they give TV shows to. I have no idea.

Common sense told me to stay away from O'Reilly and Paula Zahn, since I was already irritated.

Over on TBS, there's the Braves and Nationals playing baseball, but I dislike the Braves commentators so, that it made a great pitching performance by Tim Hudson almost unwatchable. Cy Young award this year for Hudson.

What to do?

I downloaded another Umphrey's McGee album, Anchor Drops, and restored my faith in all that is good in the world. Music and good taste.

I think I'm on to something with these guys. So much so, that I'm considering driving to D.C. on Saturday to see them in the craphole that is the 9:30 Club. Ya gotta really like a band to go there, but that's where the band is.

Doors open at 5:30.

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