My Sick Mind

The two liter bottle of soda has been accepted by consumers, even though it's clear that Americans hate the metric system. They've been around for a while, and I wonder how many of us could tell you how many 8-ounce cans equals 2 liters (or is it litre?), so maybe they've been ripping us off all this time? As far as marketing is concerned, the metric system is a half-assed commitment. Vehicle engines and soda. Worldwide consumer products companies like Pepsi, Coca Cola and the auto manufacturers embraced it pretty early, and they probably save a lot of money by not having to translate their volume measurements for us lazy Americans. For me, a two liter bottle is enough soda that I'll drink about 120 milliliters and have the rest go flat. That's economical, but then, I'm the weirdo that likes those little 6-ounce pony beer bottles, so you never know. You should have seen me at the Staples tonight, trying to decide whether $3.49 for a 20 meter roll of strapping ...

NAPLES, Florida (AP) - Baseball revenue climbed to $6.075 billion this year, and commissioner Bud Selig envisions an even rosier financial future. "As I told the clubs today, we're on a great high here," Selig said Thursday . Oh, sure you're on a real high, you dumb jackass. The same day that Major League Baseball was announcing their great windfall, Barry Bonds was being indicted on perjury and obstruction of justice. That's a real high. "Pacman" Jones, Bonds, a couple of Penn State football players charged on assault , Marion Jones, Michael Vick, Ricky Williams is in again/out again ... and you wonder why I find the LPGA so appealing. Or maybe you don't? Today , in West Palm Beach, Florida the girls were playing the first round of the ADT Championship where the winners over the season gather to play for 2 million dollars. If it was up to me, I'd give them ten times that much, but we're enamored with juiced-up frauds who lie to Feder...

One of the big news stories around here is a sports gambling bust in a large Atlantic City Casino . For those of you unaware, Atlantic City does not officially have sports gambling, although it appears, if you are sharp enough, that if you want to - you can. There was a complicated chip laundering scheme taking place, which frankly bores me. What I am more concerned with is this: The suspected ringleader of the operation, Andrew Micali, 32, of Ventnor, is an associate of Philadelphia mob boss Joseph "Skinny Joey" Merlino, according to a New Jersey law enforcement official who spoke on condition of anonymity. Vincent Procopio, 41, of Brigantine, was charged with promoting gambling. Anthony Nicodemo, 36, and Michael Lancellotti, both of Philadelphia, were charged with conspiracy to promote gambling . Notice anything? Sure you do. The names of the accused all end in vowels, and if this was a made-for-TV drama, several Italian/American SpokesGuidos would have something to say ...

If I was ever going to get out of my car and beat somebody senseless, today would have been the day. That I didn’t probably means that it will never happen. Today was one of those foggy mornings where, if you didn’t have your headlights on, you were practically on top of someone before they saw you coming. Needless to say, there were plenty of drivers without their headlights on – some of them in expensive cars that should be equipped with some sort of automatic device, and others in SUV’s which (we are told) are safer than the regular sized cars that the rest of us drive. Can they really be safer if we can’t see them? One particular dolt came careening down from the on-ramp and settled in about ten feet from my front bumper. Upon closer inspection, I could see that she was looking down and up repeatedly. As I moved around, I could see that she was fiddling with her cell phone, presumably calling some friend to tell them how incredibly foggy it was and how the headlights of the guy beh...

Over at Ohioan Kimmyk's joint , she posted a list of 7 things she's thankful for and tagged me to do the same. We're leaving out all the obvious ones - home, family, cat and opposable thumbs - and turning to the things that we choose to bring into our lives and make those mundane days go by a little easier. Life's laxative, so to speak. Enough of that . Here's the list: (1) Talk radio. It's kind of quiet around here most days - OK, every day - so at times a little background noise is necessary. I've been hooked on talk radio since the late 70s and have wandered around from current events to all-sports. There aren't nearly as many of them as there are hip-hop music stations, so I've learned to appreciate the medium. I think I'd go nuts if I had to listen to music when I turned on the radio. Besides, most commercial music radio is crap. (2) Wawa . Some of my readers don't know what I'm talking about, so I'll explain. Wawa is a loc...

After spending Sunday crashing into the ground, Monday needed to be quiet and uneventful. Around here, that isn't difficult to achieve. I had some Ebola stuff to drop off at the big 24/7 Post Office, fill up my tank with an oddly underpriced 9 gallons of $2.79 gasoline, pick up a Subway sub and hang with the cat. Once again, our brave servicemen [and women] did a great thing. I thought I saw school buses and at least one grammar school open today. That's not a good message to send to our kids. They can take 2 days for an in-service teacher's day, but the school is open to honor veterans? Then, of course all the stores are open, so I had no issues going anywhere or doing anything, which made me wonder who, exactly wasn't working today? I think you're fortunate if you had the day off today, since it seems that government makes holidays for itself and a select few, while people with the shit jobs have to work. [What a racket] It got to me so much that I actually ...

Paula Creamer won her second tournament of the 2007 season - The Mitchell Company LPGA Tournament of Champions. Don't ask me what The Mitchell Company does. I hope it isn't in the oil drilling business or responsible for making fur from baby seals. Not only did she win, but she was 20 under par and won the thing by 8 strokes over somebody named Birdie Kim (really). She would have tied the course record, but she bogeyed the 18th hole on Sunday, her first bogey since the front 9 on Thursday. Choker. As for the scorecard, I don't think you have to be a golfer to appreciate all these little circles. There are 23 of them. [How's that for a scorecard, Sparky ?] The tournament took place in Mobile, Alabama, so it might be a good idea to check on Paula later to make sure she made it home. Thankfully , she gave me something to watch instead of our pitiful Eagles who won also, but at this point, does it matter? As for me , I spent Sunday morning doing something I've never ...