My Sick Mind

EASTON, Pa. - Sally Ann Gombocz, 51, a former Bethlehem woman, will serve up to 23 months in prison for having her 7-year-old son dress as a Cub Scout to collect money for a nonexistent cause. Gombocz had her son dress as a scout in 2003 and tell people he was raising money for a camping trip. A prosecutor says the family collected $69. Gombocz was sentenced Friday to six to 23 months in the county jail. She also was fined $2,000, ordered to perform community service, take parenting classes, have psychological counseling and submit to random urine screens. She also must pay restitution . First, 2003? Whatever happened to a speedy trial? That seems like an awful punishment for something so ridiculous. I'm thinking there's more here than meets the eye. After all, Sally Ann wasn't doing anything more than Burger King or McDonald's does when they promote a movie for kids. They tie-in a fictional plot to some food item and encourage the kids to whine until their parents d...

WASHINGTON - Would consumers get the same warm, fuzzy message from a drug advertisement that promised to lift their mood if it also urged them to report side effects like suicidal thoughts and diarrhea? Under a prop osal regulators will consider Friday, that buyer-be-vigilant message would have to accompany the rosy messages of pharmaceutical promotions . Aren't the side-effects already longer than the drug's benefits in those ads? I think they are. I particularly like the anti-depressant meds that advertise that the side effects include yawning and diarrhea. Isn't being depressed better than that? I think it is. I'm depressed, and I don't think yawning and the runs would make me feel better about myself. Meanwhile, speaking of side effects... COLUMBUS, Ohio - John McCain , looking th rough a crystal ball to 2013 and the end of a prospective first term, sees "spasmodic" but reduced violence in Iraq and Afghanistan , Osama bin Laden dead or captured an...

It was a great day for a ballgame. I took Wednesday off and wandered down I-95 to Baltimore to watch my second-favorite baseball team, the Baltimore Orioles take on the (stinking) Boston Red Sox at Camden Yards, one of the few ballparks yet to succumb to the lure of big money naming rights. The place was swarming with (stinking) Red Sox fans. Probably because they can't get a ticket for a game at Fenway, so they come to places like Baltimore, New York and Philadelphia and infest otherwise decent places with their (stinking) World Champions t-shirts and goofy accents. I try to act politely when I'm around them, because I realize that baseball was invented in Boston in 1996 and I owe them their due. Prior to the game, I was able to find some quality time with my friend Beer in the centerfield picnic area, where I didn't exactly have a picnic, just some fries and a Harp. In the foreground, you can make out the giveaway item of the day. It's a seat cushion. When I arrive...

I don't like to give out investment advice. Mostly because it's a losing proposition either way. If the investment fails, it's my fault for recommending it. If it succeeds, the person I gave the advice to is a genius because they bought it. Generally, I just nod my head and listen quietly. However, there is one sure-fire idea that could make you a billionaire if you are willing to wait a few years. What is it? I'm glad you asked. Any company that manufactures or distributes hearing aids . Every day, I see hundreds of people walking around with crap in their ears. Cell phone headsets, iPod earbuds, headphones ... everything and anything designed to keep their ears from hearing what is going on around them. I'm figuring that by the time they're 50 their hearing is going to be shot and some of you can be wealthy. Back when I was 20 and I was going to a rock concert a week, I remember that funny feeling I had when I got home and was surrounded by silence. It...

Now that gasoline costs more than crack cocaine, I'm seeing a lot of TV ads for high-mileage vehicles. The same ads that they used to run for SUVs and big trucks. Ads that used to tout horsepower and size now flaunt gas mileage. They've replaced the ones where they told us that those big trucks were safer and more useful in our daily lives for the grocery safari's and running the kids back and forth to soccer practice with ads telling us how efficiently we can get to the grocery store and soccer practice. Five years ago we couldn't have shopped for food and moved children with a 4-cylinder sedan, but now it's practical. Times change. They play on our fears. Now, we'll start buying sensible cars because gasoline is costly. Prior to that, we could afford to waste gasoline, even though the cars we were buying were no less sensible than they are now, but they're made more practical given the fact that it takes a second mortgage to fill it with gasoline. Wastef...

I continue to be fascinated by the lottery players . There's a little store near my home that sells tickets in all shapes, sizes and denominations. Almost every morning I stop in for some little thing and invariably there's someone in front of me making up the ticket order... "I'll have one Flamingo Bingo, two Win for Life, two Red Hot Slingo, one Raise the Stakes ..." On and on it goes until they either spend all the money in their hand or run out of catchy lottery names, whichever comes first. Usually the money thing comes first. They even had a Mother's Day ticket. "I love you mom. Here's ... absolutely nothing!" I considered getting one for mom, but then I sat down until the feeling passed. I've heard about people who give lottery tickets as gifts or leave them as tips at restaurants. Most of your fine dining establishments appreciate the lottery ticket as a tip. I'd never give one away because I feel like if I bought the thi...

Mother's Day. Second only to Valentine's Day in annoying radio ads, reminding us ... Sunday is Mother's Day ... don't forget, Sunday is Mother's Day ... Mother's Day is Sunday. How can I forget? Here's an interesting fact: In the United States, Mother's Day was loosely inspired by the British day and was imported by social activist Julia Ward Howe after the Civil War. However, it was intended as a call to unite women against war. In 1870, she wrote the Mother's Day Proclamation as a call for peace and disarmament . How's about we bring that little custom back? Too late now I guess. Oh well, once John McCain is elected, we'll have plenty of opportunities to call for peace and disarmament. In 1907, Anna Jarvis , started the crusade to found a memorial day for women . In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died ...