Wednesday, April 20, 2011

It's not the heat, it's the stupidcity.

I was in Atlanta about 15 years ago. I went to the Georgia Dome, Coca-Cola museum, climbed Stone Mountain and took the tour of CNN.
Here's a travel tip: Unless you're going to Atlanta for a wedding, funeral or big-time sporting event, once you've done all the things I listed, there isn't any reason to go back.
Stone Mountain is literally a giant stone mountain (hence the name) with a carving on the side. When I say that a mountain made of stone is the biggest tourist attraction, it doesn't say much for the rest of the tourist attractions. I flew over it on my way in, and had to rub-down the goose pimples. Or maybe it was the first signs of heat rash?
The Coke museum is just a little more kitsch than you'd see at a typical TGI Friday's. The CNN tour is notable only if you get there when a big story is breaking and the Georgia Dome is an indoor sports arena. That's right.
Oh - the other reason to go to Atlanta: Your employer sends you to a business-related seminar. So, here I sit, waiting for the seminar to start; web-searching sports bars and plugging their addresses into my GPS - which is also a handy tool to have around here, since everything is named "Peachtree" "Martin Luther King" or "Jimmy Carter." The streets were probably named by the same people who were in charge of coming up with the name for Stone Mountain. I'd like to see the second choice.
because the traffic tie-up's start early. So early, that the local news has traffic reports at 5:30am and the reporters sound excited that "I-85 is moving along nicely." Small miracles.
I've heard it called Hotlanta, for obvious reasons. It's hot. Even in mid-April, the temperatures are in the mid-80s. It's that southern heat. The kind where you sweat while eating ice cream. I'm hoping that's the reason they call it hot, because there really isn't much else hot about this place.
The photo? It's the Peachtree Center station (that's right) of the MARTA gold line. The station is one of the most colorful parts of the city. For the record, I haven't seen a peach tree since I've been here. I think I have a better chance of running into Jimmy Carter.
When can I go home? The longer I'm here, the more I miss my cat.