Today was bike day. Usually it's Sunday, but it's supposed to rain and God forbid we get an entire weekend around here without rain. So today I took the bike to the gym and hurried to get back so I could catch the third round of the Wegman's LPGA tournament at 2:00.
The hurry was unnecessary, since it rained in Rochester and the lightning chased the players off the course. I took the bike down the road to get a chicken sandwich and the clerk spied my helmet and asked if I "had one of those baskets on the front like the Wicked Witch." I could have corrected him and told him that it wasn't actually the Wicked Witch, but her Kansas alter ego, Elmira Gulch who rode the bike in the tornado. Instead, I said, "No, I have bags on the side." They're called panniers, but I didn't dare say panniers. [Politeness Man strikes again] That didn't stop him from putting my sandwich in a bag.
Then, when I got home I found that the Red Sox were on the Fox Game of the Week for something like the tenth straight week. You'd think that the league consisted of the Red Sox and whomever the Red Sox are playing. Enough already with the stinking Red Sox.
During the game, an Auto Zone commercial ran where there's a kid peddling his bicycle down a dirt road and he sees an abandoned car with a note that says, "If you can fix her, you can have her" which ironically is the same note I pinned to my ex-wife.
Anyway, the kid peddles back and forth to the local Auto Zone until finally he fixes the car and the voice-over tells us that "I can go to Auto Zone and I don't have to take my bike," as though riding a bike was comparable to molesting a child. And why would anyone with a brain in their head ride a bicycle to a place that you could drive to? Sure kid, now you have a car. Ride your fat ass around and waste resources, making the rest of the world wealthy. What was wrong with riding a bicycle to begin with? In a country with skyrocketing gasoline prices, perhaps that isn't the best message to send.
Whatever happened to his bike?