My Sick Mind

I love the way Apple advertises the i- things on TV. They show happy fingers dragging apps all over the screen at lightning speed, typing stuff, reading newspapers, books and magazines, listening to music and sending messages with charts and graphs. It all seems so ... free. When we stop to think (if the TV gives us time) we realize that all of those things cost money. Apple makes it sound like all you need to do is buy the i- thing and you'll suddenly be hooked up to the world via WiFi or your trusty 3G network, but alas, that costs money too. Your $499 i- thing is suddenly a $300-a-month App Bill. Of course, you can do your banking by the i- thing too, which comes in handy for paying your i- thing bill. Tiger Woods is back to playing golf. Check the newspaper tomorrow (on your i-thing) and you'll see something like WOODS BACK AT MASTERS, 2 STROKES OFF THE LEAD. Try to find out who is leading the tournament and you'll probably have to scroll down to the third or fou...

It was a beautiful day in Washington, D.C., (our nation's capital) for the season opener between the Phillies and the lowly Nationals. It was a major chore to get to the parking lot. We left New Jersey at around 8:40 and didn't park the car until nearly noon. They don't get many sell-out's in Washington, and the narrow streets and bad traffic patterns don't help. Combine that with the black helicopters and enhanced police presence because of our day's special guest, and you have the makings of a major pain. But, it's baseball, and after a winter of discontent, baseball is a welcome sight no matter how long we had to wait to see it. It looked like a home game for the Phillies, with busloads (some estimates were 100 buses) of fans and thousands more like us driving down for the afternoon. The first thing we saw as we neared the ballpark was a parade of Phillies fans, complete with a 4-piece band playing "Happy Days are Here Again." It looked lik...

You know you're in America when a major religious holiday is pushed as being something other than about religion. Christmas is the gift-buying thing and Easter is the rabbit and egg deal (Do rabbits lay eggs?). Hell, even shopping malls and stores were closed today, which is probably a major cut into their profit margin, but never fear - Memorial Day is coming soon. Mom and I went to late lunch at Cracker Barrel for Easter. It's hard to stick to a diet plan when the menu is full of "chicken-fried [stuff]" and "half-pound meat." I had trout. Jesus is on Twitter . I'm surprised he only has 63,000 followers. I'll be in Wasington, D.C. (our nation's capital) tomorrow watching the Phillies season opener against the lowly Nationals. President Barak Obama will be throwing out the first ball, and I suspect that there will be a select few yahoo's who will boo him, regardless of his throwing prowess. He played a neat game of HORSE with Clark Kellogg...