My Sick Mind

Today, I got this e-mail. It is representative of those that I get almost daily: A complaint has been filed against you in the Fraud Reporting Form at e Bay. ============================================ FRAUD COMPLAINT Complaint Tracking Number: 4205848966 By: x x@x.x Item #: 2996804910 Winning Bid: $126.00 Nature of Complaint: I sent a payment but never received any merchandise. Text of Complaint: I won an auction for a $500 Pep Boys Gift Certificate. It was a certificate number which you entered after ordering online. We were told by Pep Boys, that the certificate number was stolen and not valid. ============================================ In the next 3 days, please visit the Fraud Reporting Form to resolve this complaint with caseylynncarroll. ...blah, blah, blah. Someone is trying to get my log-in info, and I'm supposed to be stupid enough to click on the link they supplied and log into my Ebay account. But, it's not that so much, because I can delete the e-ma...

I continue to be amazed by the Google searches that bring people to this sick outpost. The most recent one inspired a haiku: You did a search for Michelle Wie underpants, but found my blog instead. If I could add another line, I would, but I think you could add one on your own. Michelle, on behalf of Google and the staff of My Sick Mind (me) I apologize. Although, since you have now fired both your caddie and your agent , I'm sure it won't be long before you realize that $20 million you've been raking in and actually win a tournament. Here's some free advice: Stop trying to play on the men's tour until you prove that you can play on the women's tour. Meanwhile... Shaun Rogers of the Detroit Lions was suspended by the NFL: The NFL suspended Rogers without pay for the next four games for violating a league rule on banned substances. The league said Wednesday the violation involved an NFL policy that covers anabolic steroids and related substances. The story appea...

Thirteen Things About Me in High School Since the theme this week among one of my Blogger buddies is the high school experience, I decided to glom off of her idea, since I had none of my own. Visit Pam for more tales from her personal teenage wasteland, and wish her a safe journey south to attend her 20th high school reunion. 1. I never attended a dance. Even the Sadie Hawkins dance, where the girls were supposed to ask the boys, or the Senior Prom. Since I never had a girlfriend, the choice was pretty easy. 2. There is no picture of me in the Yearbook. I protested the idea, and subsequently wound up in the back of the book with the wasteoids and losers. I had offers of neckties and jackets on photo day, but stood my ground. I can't recall why, but it just wasn't something I wanted to do. 3. I graduated #104 out of 277. Debbie Powers, the girl next to me in home room, (who thought she was so much smarter than anyone else), finished #105 and wondered, "Who cam...

Every now and then, I go and get all political on your ass. It's like one of those pressure cookers. The heat builds up, and eventually the steam causes the lid to blow off. Mine went off yesterday. Today, I found a site that has a map of Springfield, where the Simpson's live, so the part of my brain that lives in TV is complete, and the pressure has been relieved - for now. Meanwhile, it is raining here, and I'm reading that Vince Vaughn is pissed. According to statement released by a London law firm, the 36-year-old actor would be filing a "legal complaint" against a tabloid trio — the New York Post and the Britain-based Daily Mirror and The Sun. I've seen a couple of his movies. I'd like to file a "legal complaint". And, you r president has continued to sign his name much in the manner in which a person signs a rest room stall: WASHINGTON — President Bush signed a sweeping terror interrogation and trial law this morning, creating a l...

R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C-A-N Some of the grand schemers in this so-called party (I've been to parties, and this ain't one) would lead us to believe that America is the land of great morality. It is what we want, since twice we have elected someone who stands for the great morality that the party leaders preach. Never mind that the guy is a former coke-head and alcoholic. That's in his past. We're talking about the present. OK, so let's. UNMARRIED HOUSEHOLDS OUTNUMBER MARRIED ONES IN U.S. WASHINGTON (AFP) - It is by no means dead, but for the first time, a new survey has shown that traditional marriage has ceased to be the preferred living arrangement in the majority of US households. The findings, which were released in August but largely escaped public attention until now because of the large volume of data, indicated that marriage did not figure in nearly 55.8 million American family households, or 50.2 percent. 36.7 million belonged to a category described as...

In honor of the beginning of my 50th year on this dying planet, here are 49 things: 1 - By the time I'm 50 I hope to have a new job. 2 - If it is in my favorite city , I hope to move there and abandon my money-devouring vehicle in favor of public transit and my feet. 3 - I could take a year off and fol low Gov't Mule around the country if I had the bucks. 4 - I h ave been weight-training and exercising for more than half my life. I hate to think I've wasted all that time. 5 - I've started to fear the day that I no longer have my 16-year old cat. He's a "senior" now, and I don't know how I'll deal with his ultimate passing. 6 - I'm not sure I like those artificial corks they're putting in wine bottles now. 7 - Among other things, the Australians make some damned good wine. 8 - My giant change jar is about two-thirds full. 9 - When I was nine, my father died. 10 - Don't wish that on any kid. 11 - I want one of those Dell Axim handheld...