When I got up to the buxom young cashier I commented on how I have apparently done some of her job.
"Sorry, I peeled this off," I said, even though it didn't seem to be a situation that begged for an apology. "I didn't notice it until I peeled it off."
"Really? It's fifty cents," I replied. "It's not like it's five dollars or anything." And then I noticed that on the bag, the residue of the removed coupon read VALUABLE COUPON REMOVED, as though I had activated some sort of nuclear weapon launch sequence.
The other thing I left with was a can of sunscreen. This stuff is amazing. It's old technology that is still priced as though an iPad2 comes with it. I jumped at the in-store special that had $12 cans of Coppertone Sport priced at an incredibly low $7.99. It claims to be "ultra sweatproof," and I plan to do some ultra sweating, so it seemed to be a perfect match. Just for fun, I read the "uses" part of the can. It looks like a bunch of stuff they wrote just so they could fill the can with words.
- Screens out the sun's burning rays to help prevent sunburn. Great. That's pretty much why I bought it. Check that one off.
- Provides protection from UVA rays that may contribute to skin damage and premature aging of the skin. The skin damage part would seem to be redundant, since I already know it prevents sunburn, which I would say is skin damage - but I'm not a dermatologist.
- Higher SPF gives more sunburn protection. I'm not a mathematician either, but I kind of figured that one out on my own.
- Retains SPF after 80 minutes of activity in the water or sweating. OK, so I admit that I didn't check that one against the lower SPF sunscreens available. I plan to be outdoors more than 80 minutes, so I couldn't help but wonder what happens after 81 minutes. Will I suddenly appear older? I'll check the mirror when I get home.
Then it says to "reapply as needed after strenuous activity." How would I know if I need to reapply it? If I get home and see that I have red legs I'll no doubt be second-guessing my eighty-first minute of activity and wondering if I should have brought the can along and reapplied because it was obviously necessary. On the other hand, if I get home and I am still the same pasty white color I was when I left I'll know that the Ultra Sweatproof part was more important than any of that other stuff and they made me worry needlessly about my level of skin protection.
I strenuously object to reapplying this after my activity. The can didn't say anything about what would happen if I did that.