My Sick Mind

Now that gasoline costs more than crack cocaine, I'm seeing a lot of TV ads for high-mileage vehicles. The same ads that they used to run for SUVs and big trucks. Ads that used to tout horsepower and size now flaunt gas mileage. They've replaced the ones where they told us that those big trucks were safer and more useful in our daily lives for the grocery safari's and running the kids back and forth to soccer practice with ads telling us how efficiently we can get to the grocery store and soccer practice. Five years ago we couldn't have shopped for food and moved children with a 4-cylinder sedan, but now it's practical. Times change. They play on our fears. Now, we'll start buying sensible cars because gasoline is costly. Prior to that, we could afford to waste gasoline, even though the cars we were buying were no less sensible than they are now, but they're made more practical given the fact that it takes a second mortgage to fill it with gasoline. Wastef...

"We have met the enemy, and he is us." - Pogo So, you think gasoline prices are high now? Well, they are , but they're just about the same price they were in June of 2006, when I wrote about the greedy oil companies. That's when oil company executives were busy defending their record profits. Sound familiar? How about April of 2006? They were high then , too. I'm seeing a trend. WASHINGTON - Don't blame us, oil industry chiefs told a skeptical Congress. Top executives of the country's five biggest oil companies said Tuesday they know record fuel prices are hurting people, but they argued it's not their fault and their huge profits are in line with other industries. Appearing before a House committee, the executives were pressed to explain why they should continue to get billions of dollars in tax breaks when they made $123 billion last year and motorists are paying record gasoline prices at the pump. "On April Fool's Day, the biggest joke o...

LONDON (Reuters) - A British adventurer is planning to highlight the effects of global warming by becoming the first person to swim at the North Pole and break his own record for the coldest swim. Sporting just a cap, trunks and goggles, Lewis Gordon Pugh will swim 1 km (0.6 miles) in water at a temperature of minus 1.8 degrees Celsius (29 degress Fahrenheit) on July 15, a dip he expects to last 21 minutes. I'm not sure if it highlights the effects of global warming or the boundaries of stupid human behavior - or both. Go ahead, Lewis - let me know how you make out. He said, "I can't think of a better way to show that climate change is a reality than by swimming in a place that should be totally frozen over ." Geez, Lewis; you're not thinking hard enough. I can't think of a better way to shrink my balls and make people think I'm a little goofy - but that's my cross to bear. Here's an idea: Let's use science, photography and measuring devices...

One more round, Paula. The headlines say that Paula Creamer is tied for the lead with two other golfers up there in Corning, NY - which may as well be in Canada, for Chrissakes - but we know better. She isn't tied for anything. Don't burn yourself out, kid. I want you to be in top form in 2 weeks when I go to Maryland. It says she is tied with Beth Bader and Young Kim. Feh. Step aside, losers. Final round coverage is on the Golf Channel at 6:30 Sunday. I know - The Golf Channel - Quick ... tell me which number it is on your cable. It's probably between Versus and a shopping channel in a place your TV only goes when your finger slips on the remote. Nine [click] seven ... crap! "What's this? Grass?" Meanwhile, The Pope is considering a return to a latin mass. Smooth move, Benny. Why not alienate the fifteen people who haven't already been turned off by the irrelevance of religion. Apparently, he isn't the least bit concerned about job security. O...