My Sick Mind

Sometimes I wonder how we existed as a race prior to the invention of some modern conveniences. Life must have been such a horribly contrived inconvenience without a telephone in our pocket. How did we manage to survive before we had a microwave oven to cook meals in minutes? How did we ever meet anyone before the Internet served its purpose and matched people based on their preferences in life? Click on "slim, loves to travel and doesn't smoke" and you'll find your perfect mate. What a concept, yet people still fight, argue and separate. How is that possible with such highly advanced mating techniques? The recent allegations over Alex Rodriguez and his steroid abuse make me think about whether or not athletes were so much better before they took drugs? My immediate response is "no, they are not." So, why do they use drugs? The technology is available, so they use it, but pro sports struggles to catch up to legislate against something that may or may not ...

This Michael Phelps flap makes me giggle. Really. Out loud giggling. Why? Because it demonstrates so much about what is wrong and silly about American sports and celebrity. Swimming is a sport that, three weeks before the Olympics 90 percent of Americans barely knew existed and 99 percent of them couldn't name 2 professional swimmers. So, here comes the big TV event and the network hypes up this goofy looking kid from Baltimore and he starts winning races - against a bunch of other people that none of us knew existed. He broke Spitz's gold medal record and he's so popular that his mom is being interviewed by Bob Costas, after getting more TV face time than Oprah. When he comes home, he's glorified with parades and invitations to talk shows. We honor him more than we honor war veterans and life-saving airline pilots. By the way, how many product endorsement offers has Chesley Sullenburger received since he saved the lives of those people in US Airways Flight 1549? Ze...

I used to be able to write these at work. I'd jot some junk down in Microsoft Word and at lunch time, I'd paste it into the blog. Now, they've this Websense deal that keeps us from viewing photos, listening to streaming audio, personal web sites (like this one) and junk like YouTube and Facebook. Once in a while, it goes nutty and we can't even get into our personal e-mail. That's where most of us draw the line. I'll stay off Facebook, but if I can't read the latest appeal from the Emir of Saudi Arabia asking me to safeguard his personal fortune, I'm going to start complaining. Of course, I can still write them, but I can't post them until I get home. That cuts into my free time. It took 26 years, but the FBI has finally rounded up "Tylenol Man." For those of you too young to remember, pill bottles weren't always nearly impossible to open. In fact, they were amazingly easy to open until 1982, when some jackass poisoned Tylenol that k...

If you've come here looking for more photos of the grand snowstorm, I'm sorry to disappoint you. My morning commute is almost 100% on State highways, so pulling over for a nice photo-op is a life-risking proposition. The trees were snow-covered like the ones I posted last night and earlier today , so the glorious photos will have to wait until a weekend snowstorm. By the time I got through my morning meeting and headed out to lunch, the warmer temperatures had melted most of the scenery and the trees were back to normal. Temperatures this weekend will be in the 50s (that's right) so it will be more late winter stuff around here soon. Meanwhile, President Obama has decided that there shall be a salary cap on executives who apply for government bailout money. The same executives that he earlier declared were "shameful" and "the height of irresponsibility." So, what makes him think that these irresponsible executives will be held to the salary when i...

Partly because it's snowing and partly because I'm afraid to go outside (pussy), here are some more back deck photos in case I die in this mess during my morning commute, you'll have something to remember me by...

Day for night. I think it's the name of a Truffaut film. It's what filmmakers call shooting at night and making it look like daytime. To see it, check out the scene in "American Beauty" when Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) is interviewing for a job at Mister Smiley's. It was shot at night, but they blew lights through the windows to make it look like the afternoon. That's why you come here, for fascinating tidbits of info like that. You're welcome. Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here. Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience. Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago! Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn. I don't know - maybe it's night for day? Whatever, it's snowing and I don't like it. Anyway, this is the view outsid...

Sorry to say I missed some of it. I fell asleep during the third quarter, before the heroics (or so I hear) and since I admitted as much at work today, I was greeted witht the blank stares of people who otherwise didn't care about the game until it got good. It was in all the papers though, so I heard as much as I needed to hear. As for Bruce, he was OK. He's losing his voice - the by-product of 30 years of screaming like a maniac. The lyric adjustment to "Glory Days" from speedball to Hail Mary was a questionable, I thought. I know, it's a football game and it's a song about baseball. We get it. It made me cringe. Actually, speedball made me cringe when I first heard it, as did the accompanying video where he tries to throw. Nobody calls it a speedball, unless you're hanging out with Richard Pryor. Stick to music, Bruce. The commercials were forgettable. I've seen enough talking babies. Let's move on. The one most people thought was good - t...

Do they still call today "Super Sunday?" That's so '80s, like when Up With People did the Super Bowl half time show - or before there even was a half time show. Super Bowl II (that's a 2) had the Grambling State University marching band at half time. That's ridiculous, having a marching band at a football game. Who ever heard of that? Football games are for Bono, Springsteen and tearing clothing. Like many of you, I am far less interested in this game than I am usually. Let's face it, if you aren't in an office pool or have money bet on the game, you probably don't care very much. No more interested than in a regular season game between the Cardinals and ... well, anybody. It's a TV show more than a football game at this stage. I'm always curious as to what the other networks are programming, and it usually isn't much. CBS has repeats of Cold Case, The Unit and The Mentalist , ABC is running 2 (or is it II?) repeats of something c...