My Sick Mind

There are a couple of sports that I enjoy watching on television, but don’t play – golf and tennis. Both were on this weekend, and as usual, they left me with more than a few questions about what in Hell is going on. The intrigue at the Deutsche Bank Championship in Massachusetts on Monday centered on the battle between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson. At one point, Michelson was 5 strokes ahead with about half a round left. The commentators (Johnny Miller and Jim Nance) anointed Phil the champion and started talking about his win in the past tense. Pack up the clubs, Tiger. You have officially been pronounced dead. Those of us with healthy skepticism knew that Phil is rather famous for coughing up leads and making stupid, ill-advised shots when all he needs to do is lay up and keep playing. The best player in the world still had 10 holes left, but the TV guys felt like they had to be the first to tell us who had won – before it happened. The golf course is a quiet, almost pastoral sett...

I noticed that someone from Colorado State University ran across my post about the hurricane forecasters after Google searching William Gray, who heads up a hurricane research team at Colorado State University. Things like that really make my day. I'm funny like that. Last Tuesday, I noticed that someone at work Googled my name and came across the blog. I was off work that day, so it stood out like a sore thumb. That's strange, since anyone at work who wants to know anything about me could ... um ... walk downstairs and ask. Who's Googling me at work? [I wonder quietly to myself]. It's 100 degrees in Tulsa, Oklahoma; where they are playing the PGA Tournament. Men in polyester shirts and slacks out in the hot sun. There must be a rule that says men are not allowed to wear shorts during their tournaments. I'm going to believe that there is, because if there isn't, then the whole bunch of them are dumbasses. Who willingly wears long pants when the temperature ...

The Masters Golf Tournament will have one hour of coverage on its Web site before the network telecast begins, an example of how new Augusta National chairman Billy Payne wants to see how new media can expand the tournament's audience. It starts April 5, so get your rest. It's called Amen Corner Live , after the famous part of the golf course. Woo hoo! Oh baby. I got a little 7-iron in my pants over that news. Unfortunately for Internet viewers, the extra hour involves lining up putts, bending over and bending back, taking practice swings, talking to the caddy, leaning on the club, marking the ball, cleaning the greens, asking for quiet, lining up the putt again, taking more practice swings, asking the caddy to repeat what he said before you started cleaning the green, asking for quiet and looking askance at the overall lay of the land. After that, it's a solid twelve minutes of heart-stopping PGA Golf-type action. Although, watching the ball in flight takes up some of tha...