My Sick Mind

I found myself watching the Screen Actors Guild Awards on Sunday night. Actually, I fell asleep in front of the TV and when I woke up, the show was on. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. I’m not big on awards shows anymore. I used to enjoy them, then this cynicism kicked in and I find them to be ostentatious. This one especially. It’s actors giving awards to other actors. As though the $5 million they made on the movie wasn’t enough, “Here’s a nice statue, too.” That ought to do it. Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Cast … it’s almost endless. Each one standing up and thanking the rest of them for saying they’re great. We already know. It was only a few years ago that they stopped saying “The winner is” when they give out an award. Now, it’s politically correct to say “the Oscar goes to” or “the Actor goes to,” which is what the SAG presenters say. That’s so the losers aren’t offended because, as we know, it’s an honor just to be nominated. I think it’s mostly because a...

Imagine my surprise. They held the Miss America pageant at some point over the weekend. Was it on TV? Maybe it was on that Country Music Channel? I only know because I happened to stumble across an article on page A8 of the local newspaper. I remember a time when the result was front page news, with a big color photo. Now, there's barely a blurb and I couldn't tell you the name of the winner, except that I think she is from Michigan. The times are changing for the better. Maybe next year I can write that they skipped the stupid thing altogether. Meanwhile , some men are figure skating in Minnesota tonight. Men figure skating. Any competition that involves the words "men" and "choreography" are great reasons to tune away. I watched long enough for the commentator (a woman) to spout something about the next skater doing a "Quad jump", and how he nailed it in practice, so we'd better be sure to watch carefully. He fell on his skinny ass. Next. Th...