Or rather, I've got ... um ... I have mail. This e-mail missive came allegedly from our Internal Revenue Service today:
After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $493.50.
Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days in order to process it. A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline. To access your tax refund, use the form attached to this email.
Internal Revenue Service
Dear Taxpayer? What's my name?
There was a "form" attached that I was supposed to access. I was supposed to download something, to which my response is: Download this.
I knew it was phony for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the "regards" at the end and the bad punctuation. The IRS isn't concerned with my regard and they have no interest in regarding me as anything other than a source of revenue, which is what the big "R" stands for. And how, exactly are they calculating my "fiscal activity," I wondered quietly to myself? And what does "last annual calculations" mean?
If you're interested, you can reply to the e-mail provided: firstname.lastname@example.org and give them my regards. Or, come to think of it - maybe the Federal government is dopey enough to think that I'd click on an e-mail supplied link and hand out my personal information? Yes, that's it.