My Sick Mind

I'm sitting here, realizing how long it has been since I have touched a woman.  Touched, as in felt, handled, held hands, kissed, or otherwise been familiar with. Most of you have no idea what I'm talking about.  Either you're a woman who has to beat men off with a stick, or you're a man who has some "game" that leads women to you.  Either way, you probably cannot identify with me when I tell you that I have not touched a woman in an amorous way in over five years. Yeah. I say it's been five years, but it may be longer than that.  I said five because it's a nice round number.  It might be six, or eight.  I don't remember - which is the point, exactly. I will be 60 years old soon.   Sixty.  I have never been in jail.  I have been employed since I was 18, and I have owned my own home for over 25 years.  There must be something wrong with me, right? I see men who have no idea what cleanliness means, what deodorant is...

There is no bigger example of how sports rules American life than the NFL draft going on this week in Philadelphia. For several weeks, traffic has been diverted around the site near the iconic Art Museum, and it will be diverted for several more weeks while they set-up and clean-up the massive structures that are being erected to commemorate the religion that is professional football. So, what's going on?  Well - a professional football league (the National Football League) is drawing names in a progressive order, to declare which college players will be eligible to play for them in the upcoming season.  Sounds important, right?  Oh - no?  Well, it's pretty important, if you stop to look at what's going on in the city. Streets around the Art Museum have been blocked off for a couple of weeks, and more are being blocked every day.  We didn't do this much when the Pope came here.  These are young adults playing football, fer-Christ-sakes. Supposed...