My Sick Mind

I'd be derelict in my duties as both a fan and a blogger if I didn't mention that my favorite athlete, Paula Creamer , won the U.S. Women's Open on Sunday. It was a popular win with the golf world as well as my world. Since Annika retired and Lorena Ochoa left earlier this season, the search has been on for the next player to dominate the game the way those two did for several years. Would it be Christie Kerr, who won last year's Open and has both the game and the temperament to be the best player on tour? Would it be Suzann Pettersen, who has the talent but not always the fortitude to come through and win when it counts? Or would it be one of the Asian players who seem to have taken the game by storm over the past 5 years? The main reason Paula's victory was so popular is because she is so popular. She has a great attitude toward her fans and seems to be thisclose to winning almost every time she walks on a course. The past few years have been fraught with di...

Where have I been? The world spins, the oil still leaks, the Phillies play (just don't ask me the scores) and my postman continues to bring bills. Every so often I lose track of things. This week was LPGA tournament week around here. The girls were playing the Shop Rite tournament in Galloway, and I was there for a couple of days walking with Paula Creamer. Sadly, I could not go back today. Partly because of time commitments and partly because it was in the mid-90s with high humidity. I reach my warmth levels quickly. Fortunately though, I do own a television. The men are playing the U.S. Open in Pebble Beach (a far sight better than South Jersey) and once the LPGA tournament ended I switched over to the men. When you see two tournaments side-by-side like that, the differences in the two games hit you pretty quickly. The girls dress in bright colors with various accoutrement and colorful shoes and things like pink golf balls. The men - not so much. It's still the standard sl...

Sometimes I post something that I think is weak, and I can't wait until the next time I get a coherent thought so I can post something new and put the ugliness behind me. Other times, I post something that I figure I could die the next day and have it be the last thing I say and be happy with it. Such was the case Monday . Now, I find myself in the unenviable position of having to post something equally as interesting today. It ain't gonna happen. I got a Tweet from Paula Creamer . I know, big deal, but with 3,800 followers, to pick me out to thank "for being such a great fan" was pretty cool to read. She's so awesome, it's hard to explain. Big Daddy Graham posted a link to the rant I did about music a few days ago. Also pretty cool. A web site called Shine (from Yahoo) offers tips on " How not to be humiliated when dining alone " as though it is humiliating to be dining alone. Humiliated? Really. We are supposed to be offended somehow when we ar...

Today at Saucon Valley was picture perfect. Warm air, a nice breeze and the golf course. I set out mid-morning to do what my friends refer to as "stalking the golfer chick" and arrived in plenty of time for her 11:50am tee time. After yesterday's disastrous 8-over par round, today was merely a formality. She started the day at 6-over, 8 shots off the lead. It would take some sort of miracle for her to have a chance to win. As it was, she shot 2-under to finish in a tie for sixth, which was nice considering how bad Saturday was. For my trouble, I received a pat on the back from her mom and a "you're a true fan" comment as I stood at the first fairway waiting for her opening tee shot. I said, "If I'm going to be here when she's 2-under, I have to be here when she's 6-over." True. She played much better today, for what it was worth. The nice part of it was that the gallery following her was much smaller than the contingent when she pla...

... as I watched Paula's third round on the TV today, and I suffered along with her horrible round. As if it wasn't enough that she was playing with the tournament leader Christie Kerr, she had to go and triple bogey the 10th and bogey the 11th on her way to an 8 -over par round and a 6-over par tournament. Although she is only 8 shots off the lead and tied for 17th place, it's unlikely that she'll stage a big comeback and win the Open. However... And although I said that I'd go back if she had a chance to win, I realized that going back meant that I'd support her regardless, and the fact that she has a snowball's chance in Hell of winning the Open, I feel like I have to go back and walk with her again and support her in her unlikely quest to win the U.S. Open. That's just how it is. She tees off at 11:50 on Sunday morning, and I'll be up at 7 and there on time, walking the course again, with the slim hope that I will be witnessing greatness and ...

With the best of intentions, I woke up at 4:30am and was out the door by 5:30, but a navigational cock-up sent me east instead of west and what should have been a 90-minute trip to Bethlehem, PA took more like 120 minutes. So, I was a little late for Paula's 7:55 tee time. Thanks to my Garmin Nuvi, I was able to get help navigating through Allentown and around the Lehigh University campus where they had us park for the shuttle bus. I'd probably still be driving around looking for the golf course otherwise. She started on the 10th hole, so I managed to pick her up at 14. She was playing with Lorena Ochoa, so the Mexican Army was out in force and the galleries were huge. Much larger than anything I'd seen at Bulle Rock. They figure to be as large tomorrow, when their tee time is 1:25pm. All that means is that I'll be there until at least 5:30 and it will be warmer. Such is life. Saucon Valley is a nice place. Nestled in the Saucon Creek watershed , it's picturesque,...

My stay-at-home vacation is coming to an end on Thursday. The first round of the Women's U.S. Open gets going and Paula Creamer is due to tee off at 7:55am, which means I'll have to be out the door and on the road by 6:00am. Quite the attitude adjustment. The upside is that her tee time on Friday will be in the afternoon, since they flip-flop the morning and afternoon in the second round. I can sleep-in on Friday and decide whether I want to stay the night and go back on Saturday. Paula is fighting a thumb injury, so it's likely that (a) she'll not be in contention on Saturday (b) she'll withdraw or (c) she'll miss the cut. That's sad. The other upside (can there be two upsides?) is that a 7:55 tee time means that she'll be finished her round by 12:30, and if I want, I can get home at a reasonable hour. Strangely, it's only 10 more miles to the Saucon Valley course than it is to Bulle Rock, but the travel time is a half hour more - primarily bec...

Paula Creamer threw out the first ball at last night's Phillies/Reds game in Philadelphia. The Reds could have used her later, as the Phils threw-up a 22-spot on them, winning 22-1 in the biggest blow-out since Nixon/McGovern. “We got slaughtered as they used to say,” Reds manager Dusty Baker said. Um --- no, they still say that Dusty. Among other things: The 21-run margin of victory was the largest in franchise history, surpassing a 26-7 triumph over the New York Mets on June 11, 1985. The 22 runs were the most scored by the Phillies since that 26-7 game. The Phillies' 10-run first inning tied a team record. They also scored 10 in the first against the New York Giants in 1948, the Chicago Cubs in 1975, and the Montreal Expos in 2002. Shane Victorino tied the team record for runs scored in a game with five. Seven players, including Jimmy Rollins and John Kruk, share that record. You'd think that a game like that would have been kind of boring, but at one point, afte...

I had a good feeling about Paula's third round. There was a concert at Ripken Stadium on Saturday night, so our parking/shuttle area was moved to a corporate campus in Belcamp. On the way, I passed a Creamery Lane. An omen? I don't know. It sounded good at the time. She started the day at even par, teeing off at 12:14pm (in the noonday sun, as they say) and it was a challenge for her to stay there, and it wasn't until the 16th that she got into negative numbers with an elusive birdie putt. She managed to finish the day at one-under par, but it will be an uphill (if not impossible) battle to win with so many players ahead of her, and the leader at minus 10. So let's reflect on the week so far: FRUSTRATING: The shitty directions to the Belcamp parking area provided by the LPGA. First, they said, "go west on Route 563" but 563 runs North/South (odd numbers, don't-cha-know). It went downhill from there. We're back to good-old Ripken Stadium on Sunday. ...

I stopped at a Havre de Grace 7/11 on my way to Bulle Rock today to buy a few newspapers. As you may remember (you do, right?) I had my photo snapped by a Hartford County newspaper photog while walking the course with Paula Creamer on Thursday. I was figuring they wouldn't print it, with me being from New Jersey and all, but lo and behold (whatever that means) here it was, on page 10 of The Record (serving Havre de Grace, Aberdeen, Perryville and Port Deposit): It beat the Hell out of the story on page three of the Aberdeen man who was killed while trying to cross Route 40. I took a shuttle bus. Meanwhile, on the course today, I had another opportunity to enjoy the company of Paula's mother Karen. I wanted to tell her how impressed I was with her daughter's kindness toward me on Thursday, and she remembered meeting me the past couple of years on the course. We chatted and walked the course with Paula in the mid-June Maryland heat. The morning started off promisingly, w...

Some things take me by surprise. Mostly, because I'm cynical by nature and partly because I'm just surprised. As faithful readers know, I'm a fan of LPGA golfer Paula Creamer . Following golf requires that one pick a "favorite" and when I attend an event or watch on television, I like to have someone to root for. Rooting for Paula is easy because she embodies everything that I imagine athletes to be: Appreciative of her fans, friendly, easy to like and generally a good person. Two years ago, upon meeting her mother on the course at Bulle Rock, I told her that Paula was "my favorite professional athlete." What happened today cemented that belief. As usual, I spent the day walking the course with her group, which included Nichole Castrale and Kristy McPherson. Today, I went to the LPGA Championship garbed in a custom-made Paula Creamer T-shirt (above) and evidently, was the envy of my fellow Creamer followers . To the extent that a local newspaper...

Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas, and I'm going to be there when you learn that. - Ian Malcolm, "The Lost World: Jurassic Park" Speaking of bad ideas, here is the next one in their long, sad history. LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens said in an interview last week that she would "love it" and “encourages” players to use handheld devices to post content on social-media Web sites such as Twitter or Facebook and encourages the use of handheld mobile phones during play , even if it runs counter to golf etiquette. That's right. She'd love it if the players started texting 140-word updates to their Twitter pages during the round. Sure. While we're at it, let's have an update from Donovan McNabb while the Eagles defense is on the field. And what's to stop Brad Lidge from typing while he's sitting around for 8 innings? Hopefully, common sense stops them, because the people in charge are...

"three talented hotties." Why couldn't you just leave it at talented ladies? - Kimmyk ( comments earlier today) Take a guess Kimmy! That's Paula , Sandra Gal and Natalie Gulbis . I think even the Canadian would approve!

My shallow and meaningless life takes on a renewed sense of purpose starting Thursday. The girls are playing golf again. That means that (a) the Daytona 500 is also coming (b) pitchers and catchers are reporting to spring training soon and (c) the air around here is getting warm enough for my pansy-ass to get outside and start moving around in the fresh air. When I mention either the LPGA or NASCAR (in capital letters) I usually get that eye-roll and the "you like NASCAR ?" questions, as though it's impossible to like watching cars racing in a circle really fast. For the record (if you care) my favorite NASCAR driver is Tony Stewart . I admire a lot about him, but mostly I admire the way he speaks his mind and the way he gets assed-up over stuff that happens on the track and isn't afraid to let the other drivers know it. It's also cool that many people who follow NASCAR hate his guts. That makes me a bigger fan, because I can annoy other people. Now that he...

Partly because today was a big sports day in the area and partly because I have no social life, I chose to spend the better part of the day in front of the TV watching sports. The Phillies were in Milwaukee, finally ending the playoff series that would send them into the League Championship Series on Thursday. I'll be there, which beats watching it on television, although I'll have to come to grips with the $80 ticket price. I try not to think about that part. During the game, in addition to the numerous Frank TV commercials, there's one for Dish TV (no relation) that features a scene from "Poltergeist," where the kid looks into the white noise on the TV and says, "They're here" and an aged Craig T. Nelson rises from bed to tell us that they really aren't here. At the bottom of the screen, the disclaimer appears: SCENE FROM POLTERGEIST. NOT INTENDED TO DEPICT ACTUAL CABLE VIEWING EXPERIENCE . That's nice. Otherwise, I would have thought th...

This was the forecast on Yahoo weather today: Tonight: A few passing clouds. Tomorrow: Sunshine along with some cloudy intervals. Tomorrow night: A few clouds from time to time. Sunday: Times of sun and clouds. Passing clouds, a few clouds, times of sun and clouds ( my favorite ) and cloudy intervals. It's impossible for them to be wrong. I'm telling you, the guys at the National Weather Service are on a break and the interns are filling in. Check the men's room. 2 meteorologists, no waiting. Weather forecasters must wash their hands before returning to work. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that my girl, Paula Creamer shot a first-round 60 at the Jamie Farr Classic. Yes, that Jamie Farr. Besides Annika's record 59 a few years ago, it's the lowest round of any LPGA player. Only 4 other LPGA golfers have shot a round of 60. Nice going, kiddo. When I was in Maryland last month I saw someone walking around with a shirt styled after a sports jersey. The name...

My week off from work is winding down. Today was spent in Maryland at the Bulle Rock golf course watching the LPGA McDonald's Championship (presented by Coca Cola). After two straight late-nights at Dave Matthews shows (and yes, I did think of you ), I couldn't wait to get up at 6am and drive 65 miles to walk 6,630 yards (3.76 miles) with my favorite athletes - particularly Paula Creamer, whom I walked the course with today. Paula missed at least 4 easy birdie putts on the first 7 holes and I think her first inclination was to heave her putter into the lake, but she still had 11 holes to play. She finished one-under par. Paula's group was finished around 2:00pm, and I had the chance to go back out and walk the back 9 with Lorena Ochoa, Morgan Pressel and Karrie Webb, but I needed to get back to do my Thursday night 28-mile bike ride with the shop group - and my feet hurt. I know. The good news is that I'm going back on Friday, and since Paula's group teed off ea...

Don't we have the most beautiful gas stations here in New Jersey? I know, the price is beautiful too, unless you live here, then we curse it like death. Chances are, you're wishing your price was the same as ours, but then ask yourself, "Do I really want to live in New Jersey?" It might be worth fifteen cents to say, "No." It's always worth $3.45 for me to leave the car sit during the day on Sunday. It isn't much of an effort, since (a) everything I need is within 5 miles of home and (b) I really don't have any place to go. Besides, the girls were playing golf over on ESPN2 and Paula was in the lead ... until she gave it up to Juli Inkster on the 18th hole, forcing a playoff for the second straight week. This time Paula came out on top. So, another horse died on the track this weekend. This one, Eight Belles, finished second in the Kentucky Derby. It isn't all that unusual. The trouble-makers at PETA want the jockey suspended. People for t...

How did I spend my Sunday afternoon? Thanks for asking. In the rainy and cloudy weather we had, what better way than to watch two of the LPGA's best players battle it out in sunny Florida? I know, you could think of a dozen better things, but that's part of the "sick" title, isn't it? Rather than watch 6th round NFL draft picks on ESPN, [yawn] I decided (prudently) to wander over to ESPN2 to watch the girls battle it out in Adventura, Florida. It was Annika versus Paula Creamer in what would become a sudden death playoff. For the record, the "death" part is exaggerated. They're both alive and well, although one of them (Annika) has a big glass trophy and the other one has to deal with defeat. Paula will be just fine. For those of you who may not know, the actors are preparing to strike, as their writing brethren did a few months ago. Their contract expires on June 30, and Hollywood is nervous about the "talent" walking out just as the...

It's nice to back a winner once in a while. Especially when you're a fan of Philadelphia sports teams - or a Democrat. So there I was , (geeky fan) talking to my TV set - "Don't get down, Paula, there's still 3 holes left." after she parred the 15th and, still a shot down with 3 to play it looked like Jeong Jang was going to win. Screw you, JJ. Paula birdied the last three holes to win the tournament and make being in Hawaii in February even better than it seemed. It's especially nice to be a fan of a winner when I had to (didn't have to ) listen to a radio debate on WIP between most of their air staff over what is wrong with the Eagles, our football team. Lucky for them, overnight host Big Daddy Graham and morning host Angelo Cataldi were absent, because other than the screaming and over-talking, there wasn't much to listen to. The station and their web site wants us to vote on who was the "winner" in the debate. The real winner wa...