Saturday, September 15, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I just hope he got home.
Microsoft Word tells me that there’s a “number agreement” problem with that quote, but that’s our Homer.
Maybe she figures that Jim is used to being jammed up the ass, so what’s another 4-grand? Or, perhaps once you are no longer married to the governor your lifestyle should change accordingly?
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Bonus points if you know who she is. I'll bet Sparky knows.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
In the end, it just got to be too much, and it, as all things, had to end. The marriage got better and my place as the alternative had lost its meaning. Deceit and distrust had nothing to do with it, but should have had everything to do with it. After all, the relationship (such as it was) was based on deceit and distrust. Quite the foundation, eh?
What surprized me was how she turned on me toward the end. Picking needless arguments over ridiculous things and reading things into innocent comments that could only serve to drive a wedge between us - which may have been her intent from the beginning. Weasels are hard to figure .
What surprized me was how she turned on me toward the end. Picking needless arguments over ridiculous things and reading things into innocent comments that could only serve to drive a wedge between us - which may have been her intent from the beginning. Weasels are hard to figure
Here I am, broken up with someone that I was probably never “with” anyway. So, why do I feel so badly about it? Probably because I feel used and stupid. That's a bad combination. She’s one of 160 million women, so she’s not statistically relevant. She’s a fly-speck on a grain of sand. Something so insignificant in the grand scheme should not be awarded such high priority status. To be blunt, she isn't worth the 800 or so words I just wrote, but it's still free to blog, so, as Mr. "Bluto" Blutarsky once said, "It don't cost nothin'." Unless you don't count my heart, my trusting nature or the scars that will have to heal. Other than that, I'm doing great.
THE MORAL TO OUR STORY:
I cannot allow one weasel to ruin the whole hen house.
1 - Stay within your own time zone.
2 - Wait until you see the final divorce decree before giving up your heart.
3 - Dig deep to find the weasels.
One day next week, there will be a Weasel Warehouse Clearance Sale on Ebay of all the crap she gave me. Should be good for five or ten dollars.
Afterward, I’ll throw a newspaper on my roof in her memory..
Monday, September 10, 2007
Out-of-synch lip-synching, lethargic moves and a paunch doomed Britney Spears' MTV opening.
I didn't watch the show [surprised?] so I can’t vouch for the out-of-synch part or the alleged lethargy, but if this qualifies as a “paunch,” then I think our standards are way out of whack over our bodies. Literally, paunch is defined as “a large, prominent belly.” You want to see a paunch? I can show you some paunches. It’s no wonder that people are so conflicted.