My Sick Mind

I used to have a neighbor, who, upon seeing the newspaper delivery on the roof of his house one day; placed his hands on his hips and proclaimed: "People are no damned good!" Last night, I decided to venture out into the realm of the general public - the local bar - and take in part of the Phillies game, and perhaps meet someone whom I could talk to and share an adult beverage. After tiring (and failing) at that pursuit, I decided to try my hand (and finger) at the bar-centered trivia game. Four dollars a minute to see how my knowledge of nonsense stacks up against like-minded drunks in the greater Gloucester County area. Midstream into my second game, a figure of the female persuasion entered into my peripheral vision. She spoke... SHE: Would you like someone to play with you? ME: Sure! [Me, foolishly thinking that someone of the opposite sex would take an interest] SHE: [derisive laughter] Hahahahahaha! I don't know exactly why she would choose to make a mockery of m...

For the third year in a row, American Idol , Fox's ratings winner, will command the highest advertising prices on television, with a 30-second spot going for $500,000 to $700,000 , Advertising Age reported Thursday. The network will charge the most during Tuesday night's performance show, with Wednesday night's results show remaining the second-most pricey hour of TV. This estimate doesn't include, of course, what advertisers will end up paying for 30 seconds of commercial time during Idol 's finale. Companies ponied up $1.3 million for spots this year. It's hard for me to imagine that marketers are getting their money's worth out of a half million dollars for an advertisement. During the commercials, I'm imagining most people on the phone to their friends complaining about the one who didn't advance or cheering about the one who did. Watching a Gap ad may be the last on the list of priorities that may include: A bathroom break (for pur...