KNOXVILLE, Tenn. – Award-winning entertainer, businesswoman and education advocate Dolly Parton has a new title. "Just think, I am Dr. Dolly!" she said Friday after receiving an honorary doctorate of humane and musical letters from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville.
I think these honorary doctorates are insulting to people who have achieved real doctorates, and if I had one and heard someone call her Doctor Parton I'd have a fit. Besides, what does a person with a trillion dollars need with a doctorate anyway? The whole thing is ridiculous.
Another new study...
LONDON (Reuters) – Too much sunlight in places like Greenland where long summer days often cause insomnia appears more likely to drive a person to suicide, Swedish researchers said Friday. Despite a belief that suicides tend to rise in late autumn and early winter months because of darkness, the new findings suggest that places where constant sunlight in summer seasons is a fact of life may be just as dangerous.
"During the long periods of constant light, it is crucial to keep some circadian rhythm to get enough sleep and sustain mental health," Karin Sparring Bjorksten of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden and colleagues reported in the BioMed Central journal BMC Psychiatry.
"During the long periods of constant light, it is crucial to keep some circadian rhythm to get enough sleep and sustain mental health," Karin Sparring Bjorksten of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden and colleagues reported in the BioMed Central journal BMC Psychiatry.
Jeebus ... maybe it's because they're living in fucking Greenland. I'm ready to shoot myself in the head and I live in a temperate zone with 12 hours of darkness. If I thought sunlight had anything to do with it, I'd tape-up the windows.
Meanwhile...
There is another story about distracted drivers on ABC News. Lawmakers are fighting a losing battle against automakers who seem Hellbent on putting as many creature comforts in automobiles as possible. Why? Because we want them. But as the video shows, it isn't enough to talk and text on the phone. We'll read, paint our nails and do just about anything but drive. I'm not sure who is more distracted, the drivers or the person shooting the video.
Speaking of performance-enhancing drugs ... weren't we? Are you tired of being tired? Of course you are. Trudging back and forth to school in the dark while texting your buddies is exhausting (didn't think I could tie it in, did you?)
Well, whomever this FRS outfit is has just the thing. It's a drink mix, apparently, and the ads are on Yahoo with this Nora Tobin, who we're supposed to know. They have Lance Armstrong ads too, but we all know he's juiced-up, so what's the point? The ad sells better if there's a buff babe.
The part I like is the "Try it free" plus shipping part. I see that little mark to the right of the FREE, which I suppose is the ad's disclaimer that is supposed to tell us that free isn't free exactly. There's another little mark to the right of the shipping that I suppose ties-into the one above the FREE. I'm not a lawyer - or a doctor, but my first guess is that it's full of caffeine and sugar, packed in a nice bottle that is recyclable.
I'm guessing that the shipping is more than it would cost you to actually buy it at a store - if they even sell it in stores.
I'm also guessing that FRS stands for For Real Suckers.
Get some sleep.