My Sick Mind

"Everything is amazing, and nobody is happy." - Louis C.K., on the amazing and sometimes frustrating things that technology has done for society. The remote for my sophisticated cable box recently broke. At least, I thought the remote was broken, since the delay in the box recognizing entries caused me to have to take it back to the cable company to get a new one. The new remote didn't work any better than the old one, and I figured I would have to get a new cable box, causing me further inconvenience. As it turned out, all I had to do was turn the box off for a few minutes and turn it back on, which was a last-ditch effort to fix the problem without actually fixing anything. Turning something off and on again is a half-assed attempt, but in this case it was the solution, and as Occam's Razor taught us, the simplest solution is the best. NEW YORK (AFP) – The bells weren't ringing for many iPhone users this New Year's weekend, when thanks to a glitch the ala...

I love the way Apple advertises the i- things on TV. They show happy fingers dragging apps all over the screen at lightning speed, typing stuff, reading newspapers, books and magazines, listening to music and sending messages with charts and graphs. It all seems so ... free. When we stop to think (if the TV gives us time) we realize that all of those things cost money. Apple makes it sound like all you need to do is buy the i- thing and you'll suddenly be hooked up to the world via WiFi or your trusty 3G network, but alas, that costs money too. Your $499 i- thing is suddenly a $300-a-month App Bill. Of course, you can do your banking by the i- thing too, which comes in handy for paying your i- thing bill. Tiger Woods is back to playing golf. Check the newspaper tomorrow (on your i-thing) and you'll see something like WOODS BACK AT MASTERS, 2 STROKES OFF THE LEAD. Try to find out who is leading the tournament and you'll probably have to scroll down to the third or fou...

I love thunderstorms. It seems, like other things, that they were better when I was a kid. We get them infrequently around here. Maybe I should move to Arizona or Ohio. When one is on the way, I perch my camera on the tripod and wait. Having southern exposure may be nice for sun worshippers, but for lightning worshippers it sucks. Once in a while I get lucky, but like Dirty Harry, it's not all that frequent. Mostly, we get that flashy-thingy lightning and not the bolts that look cool on camera. To get one in the east is a big bonus. Lucky to be here. By the way, those jeans from yesterday - $89.50. That's why I don't shop at Abercrombie & Fitch. If you want to see my butt crack, I'll show you for a lot less than $89.50. I see that the recent upsurge in the price of gasoline has prompted some school districts and local governments to go to a 4-day work week. At first that sounds like nirvana, but it's really just 4 10-hour days. Most people I talk to think tha...

The iPhone . Apple's answer to distracted driving and annoying people in movie theaters, concerts, at work or your local church. The more laws and rules they make, the more junk we have to inspire more laws and rules. It's technology's little joke on us. Keep chasing the technology and the technology will keep chasing you. Soon, we'll see another bunch of laws. If you thought you were annoyed by regular cell phones ... wait for this thing. Music, video, the Internet and ... oh yeah ... it's a phone, too. Gangs of gullible consumers lined up for this thing today. Among them was Philadelphia Mayor John Street , but don't go by him. He's kind of goofy to begin with. He probably thought he was in line for a cheesesteak. He called it a "management tool" and said that he will use it "to get a lot of work done." More work than he got done today, apparently, although he still got paid. He was in line for most of the day - which probably trans...