Saturday, April 18, 2009
Some people are too dumb to live.
Friday, April 17, 2009
This tribute is outta here!
- Throughout the season, Kalas' renowned "Outta here!" home run call will be played over the PA system after every Phillies home run at Citizens Bank Park
- Players, coaches and manager Charlie Manuel will wear an HK patch on their uniforms.
- A billboard honoring Kalas will be displayed on the outfield wall.
- The TV broadcast booth, where Kalas broadcast since the Bank opened in 2004, will be named the Harry Kalas Broadcast Booth: "That ball's outta here!"
- In the first half-inning of Friday's broadcast on Comcast Network Philadelphia, there will be no commentary.
- During the seventh-inning stretch Friday, a video of Kalas singing "High Hopes" will be shown on PhanaVision. Fans will be encouraged to sing along.
- The ceremonial first balls will be thrown out by Harry's sons Todd, Brad and Kane.
- There will be a moment of silence before Kane sings the national anthem.
- A video of Harry's career will be aired on PhanaVision.
- Fans will receive an 8" x10" color photo of Kalas.
- Beginning at 8 a.m. Saturday, on a first come, first served basis, fans will have the opportunity to pay their respects on the field as they pass by Kalas' casket behind home plate. Fans will walk by the casket until approximately 12:45 p.m., when everybody will be directed to seats. Beginning at approximately 1 p.m., current and former players, broadcasters, front-office employees, friends and family members will pay their final respects before the on-field tribute begins at 1:30 p.m.
- Kalas' signature will be displayed on the field during the seven-game homestand, beginning Friday.
- A black drape will appear in front of the Phillies' radio and TV booths.
- The Phillies flag in Ashburn Alley will be hung at half-mast.
Sheesh. By the way, the expression "first come, first served" probably should never be used when discussing a funeral or viewing. I'm just saying.
It's partly because of my feelings about the way we deal with death. I loved Harry too, but we tend to do more after death than we do in life, and I find that odd, to the extent that I think Harry would be embarassed by it all.
And, I wouldn't want to be the person who is going to have to cut the line off at the deadline tomorrow. I'm thinking that there will be more mourners than time and somebody is going to have to tell them they can't go in. They say they're expecting about 200,000 people - I think it will be more - and I wonder how quickly they're going to want to whiz past the casket (probably an empty box - would they have an open casket?) and be ushered out of the ballpark before paying their respects, whatever that means.
There will undoubtedly be helicopters providing aerial views, a couple of local radio stations will be broadcasting live (pun) from the event and Comcast will be televising the whole affair.
All for what, exactly? To salve the feelings of the living, who would be better served staying at home in quiet contemplation over the entertainment provided by Harry during his life, which we never made such a fuss over - which I find odd. Whatever happened to "rest in peace?"
I told you it wouldn't be a popular opinion.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Call me when you're finished reading this.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A show about nothing.
RUSSELL: Nothing?
GEORGE: Nothing.
RUSSELL: What does that mean?
GEORGE: The show is about nothing.
JERRY: (to George) Well, it's not about nothing.
GEORGE: (to Jerry) No, it's about nothing.
JERRY: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Finding out that I can hate an inanimate object.
NEWMAN: (Sarcastically) Do not bend! (Laughs evilly) Just crease, crumple, cram ... you'll do fine.
Sometimes when I go shopping, I forget my canvas bags, and you know how much I love my canvas bags. In those instances, I am forced to use the ... plastic. The cashier wants to use two, but I refuse, (pun) instead choosing to cram all of my items into one measly bag. She quizzed me on my distaste for waste: