Saturday, August 4, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
…and … because … it’s August. How about you wait until October and revise the number again?
And now, live from the beautiful campus of Colorado State University, it’s The Klotzbach and Gray show, starring Bill Gray and Phil Klotzbach. Tonight’s musical guest is Maroon 5!
May 31, 2007 Colorado State University:
KLOTZBACH: William, I’m home! It’s getting late. We should do that hurricane thingy.
GRAY: Allright! Let me finish my coffee.
KLOTZBACH: They’re going to want a number. Chevron called and they need an excuse to start raising oil prices.
GRAY: Let’s go with 17. I wore number 17 when I played Little League.
KLOTZBACH: Wow. That sounds like a lot. Are you sure?
GRAY: Sure? We’re meteorologists!
Two months later, Bill and Phil are at it again:
August 1, 2007:
GRAY: Hey, Phil; you remember that number we threw out in May?
KLOTZBACH: The one where I said I could get 85 Tic Tacs in my mouth at once?
GRAY: No, jackass. The hurricane number.
KLOTZBACH: Oh, that one. I didn’t write it down.
GRAY: Well, I did. It was 17.
KLOTZBACH: Well, there’s only been, like … 3 … so I guess we’re going to be a little high.
GRAY: I was thinking we should change it.
KLOTZBACH: No kidding. But, aren’t we going to have to explain ourselves?
KLOTZBACH: How about this? Sea surface temperature anomalies have cooled across the tropical Atlantic in recent weeks, and there have been several significant dust outbreaks from Africa, signifying a generally stable air mass over the tropical Atlantic.
GRAY: Genius! You could sell a push-up bra to Dolly Parton!
KLOTZBACH: 15 it is!
TOGETHER: [pounding the table] Fif-teen! Fif-teen! Fif-teen! Fif-teen!
GRAY: Great. Now, write this one down. We’ll take another look around Labor Day.
And now, ladies and gentlemen; Maroon 5!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
By contrast, 81 percent of the children and teens were prescribed some sort of medication for their sleep issues. Dr. Gregg Jacobs, an insomnia specialist with the Sleep Disorders Center at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester, Mass., said prescribing drugs often sidesteps the underlying causes of sleep trouble.
"Besides which, behavioral methods of treatment are extremely effective," added Jacobs. "So, why would you want to risk giving this medication to children, when they're probably not very effective and would be masking the real problem in any case? Sleeping pills should be a last resort. Children are in the golden years of sleep," he observed. "It's not normal for them to have sleep problems. So, if they do, then you know something's wrong. And medicating the child doesn't get to the heart of the problem. It's more important to figure out what's going on. Is it stress, caffeine or a problem in the home environment?"
Aw, c’mon doc; you know better than to think that Americans want to get to the real issue. We have diet pills for dogs, for Chrissakes. Take a Pill is going to replace E Pluribus Unum on the money soon.
We have a similar issue here that we had with the doggie diet pills yesterday. Classes of patients who have no control over their own destiny are being treated by people with no judgment. That’s a bad combination, and I wonder how long it will take before these sleeping pill babies develop some other malady? Things like this are perfect for predatory companies (like drug and tobacco companies) who rely on parents and pet owners who think they are doing the best thing for their loved ones. What they are really doing is taking the easy way out, which is always an easy sell, especially when you combine it with a dose of guilt and make it sound like you are taking care of something.
Screaming at the drug companies doesn’t help, because they figure that if they can get a child to start thinking that the answer is in a pill, then the adult marketing battle is over. The parents are already doped up and thinking that the answer is in drugs, so the kids are sitting ducks. By the time they’re 30, they’ll be taking cholesterol meds and diet pills because their diet stinks and they don’t get any exercise (and we don’t want to change that) and impotence meds because they don’t get enough sleep or exercise.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
So, there ya go. Check one more thing off the list of stuff you thought you'd never see. And, for the record, no ... this is not Kitty's Vet. Hurry ... sign Fido up ... he's getting fatter every day. If the pill doesn't work, I guess they can always staple his stomach shut.
I can't believe I haven't seen TV commercials for this:
Ask your dog if Slentrol is right for you. If he answers, maybe a fat dog isn't your biggest problem.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Q. What does this mean to you?
What a lucky trophy. As for me, it's off to the Electric Factory to see (and hear) Chris Cornell. I'm figuring there's going to be a blog post in there somewhere.