Friday, June 28, 2019
Saturday, June 8, 2019
Another Slice of (my) Life
Let’s see if I can properly describe this. (Stream of consciousness posting)
From the beginning, over the last year I became friends with a woman in my exercise classes. I always suspected that she was married, and after asking a few people, it turned out I was correct. However, that didn’t deter me from continuing to be her friend, as it should not have. She is loud, profane, fun, and smart - and she is petite and muscular, which I find amazingly sexy. I like everything about her.
Over the past several months, I found out that she was going through a lengthly divorce, and had hired a forensic accountant to examine his books, since he was stashing money away in separate accounts. “It could take a year,” she told me. OK then, whatever, Where am I going?
Last week, she invited me to go out after work with some other friends from our gym. It’s kind of a private group, and inviting me was entirely on her end. It’s kind of like a third-party invite - but I accepted it anyway. I like her, and I want to stay in her peripheral vision until such time that I can ask her out on a real date - and not a date with a bunch of other people.
I knew that not everyone in the group would want me to attend. It may come as a shock to you, but I am not universally well-liked. Some people can’t stand the sight of me, and while they tolerate me in the “gym setting,” when it comes to social interaction, they would probably rather have electrodes attached to their private parts than to see me out in public. Nevertheless.
I arrived earlier than I should, and walked into the bar and took a look around. I saw two people at a table who I would describe as in the last paragraph, so I retreated to my car. I waited for my “girl” to walk in, and serriptously entered and took a seat at the bar. I sat there for about a minute, and she came over and tapped me on the shoulder and invited me over to their table. “Perfect,” I thought. “I don’t have to look like a schmuck who walked in and invited himself.” Instead, I could make it appear as though she asked me over and I just sat down - which is exactly what happened. For once, I did something right. Battle won.
There were six people at the table. Two of which I didn’t know (so that means they had no opinion of me) one who knew me, and I’m assuming was happy to see me, and the other two who probably would rather have their vulvas removed than to see me in public. They barely made eye contact with me.
We sat for a while, chatting and ordering drinks and food. I’m pretty sure I behaved myself, although seeing her in regular street clothes and not schmatta gym wear was quite a shock to my system. Although, a couple of things gnawed at me afterward:
ONE: Among the conversation at the table, there was a lot of gossip about other people at our gym and what was going on in their personal lives, and some speculation. I couldn’t help but wonder if me and my “girl” would be part of that gossip later, since she asked me over and we shared a bar/food tab. We certainly looked like a couple.
TWO: The two people who dislike me were amazingly dismissive of my presence, and said “good night” to everyone at the table but me. I hope my being there would not deter them from inviting my friend to future events, since she asks me to join her.
THREE: I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I have often regretted not saying things that I thought I should have said. During our evening together, I told her “the more time I spend with you, the more I like you.” And, when we parted company afterward, I told her “you’re terrific,” which I guess sounds odd, but I really like her, and I don’t want to allow an opportunity to elude me while I have a chance to tell her how I feel.
I don’t know where any of this is going. My gut is telling me that I am making too much of her interest in me. Although, I can’t imagine that she would invite me to these things if she didn’t have some feelings, too.
I hope I’m not setting myself up for another major disappointment.
Thursday, May 23, 2019
I remember (back to my marriage again) sitting in our living room, making out checks for our bills, and writing one for $50 to American Century to contribute to my IRA. The wife sees it and says, "What's that for?"
When I told her, she replied, "What do you need that for?"
You wouldn't think it would be difficult to explain, but it was for a 30-something who was overly concerned that he wouldn't have enough saved for his retirement and thought that an extra fifty bucks here and there could actually amount to something.
For the record, the S&P 500 was at 420 in 1992. It sits at around 2,800 today - so you tell me.
It was discouraging, so say the least, that I thought enough about my (and her) future to dare invest money in such a scam as the stock market. She worked for the state, and had some 503[something] state-funded retirement plan to lean on. My counter-argument was "well, don't depend on the state government to take care of you in your retirement." Hate to tell you, but I was right. The state is having difficulty funding its retirement plan and is in the process of cutting it. Nevertheless.
In a year or two, I found that she had taken a life insurance policy out on herself. Fine, I thought. Good thinking - in case you accidentally fall down a flight of stairs or that gun misfires into your face for some odd reason.
When I asked, "Who is the beneficiary?" I thought it would be a rhetorical question: "Why, you dear, of course," was my mythical in my head answer.
Instead, what I found out was that her sister was the beneficiary. OK, then.
When I asked, "Why?" [a reasonable question] I was told that "you don't believe in life insurance." I never reconciled that answer, and told her that she was not only the beneficiary of my insurance policy through my job, but also the beneficiary of my retirement plan at work AND the IRA that I had opened - as noted earlier.
The moral of this little tale is: Look out for yourself, because you're all you have.
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
I proposed to her on her birthday. Not a bit clever, I suppose, but then - what else? I took her to a nice dinner at The Riverview in Carney's Point (luxurious for New Jersey) and even got down on one knee after dinner to spring my big-time $300 diamond engagement ring on her. She figured something was up. We had been dating for about a year-and-a-half, and I guess we both figured, "it's now or never." (another song)
Sunday, April 7, 2019
I do not remember when exactly it was during my time with my future ex-wife that it happened. It was certainly after she left the company that we had both worked for, and in one of those periods where I felt like maybe - we weren't meant to be together.