My Sick Mind

I'm not responsible for training supermarket cashiers, so I don't know exactly what they are required to do. I know that, in the old days when we used to go to supermarkets, cashiers would keep up with the customers and put the items in bags while they ran through the conveyor. Now, I see that there are plastic bags on the customers' side of the aisle, which to me, is a not-so-subtle hint that the customers are now being encouraged to bag their own groceries. That's an interesting idea, since cashiers now only have to roll an item past a scanner and throw it down the line. If the sensor doesn't make a rude beeping sound or no sound at all, they don't give it a second look. This disturbing trend is exacerbated by chains like The Home Depot and Lowe's who have self-checkout lines. They make us think that it is a convenience to the consumer, when in fact it is a convenience to the retailer , since they don't have to pay cashiers. While I struggle (compar...

Monday marked a major event in the history of America. My daily Philadelphia Inquirer cost a dollar for the first time in my life, raising the price a quarter per day. I've had a daily newspaper (or two) delivered to my home every day since I was a kid. It's only now that I have begun to question the wisdom of it. Many years ago, I thought people would give up smoking when cigarettes began costing a dollar a pack. Now that they are over 7 dollars a pack, I not only question smokers' decisions, but my own perception of how intelligent cigarette smokers are. I am certain that there are cigarette smokers who think I'm a dope for paying a dollar for a newspaper. They're still a bargain, the newspapers. On a monetary basis, they provide hours of entertainment and we are free to choose to read all of it or none of it. But they have lost some of their clout because the immediacy of the Internet has rendered some (or all) of their content as irrelevant as the evening news...

I read somewhere that Charlie Sheen is a workaholic. I now realize that I must have mis-read it. It's not workahol to which he is addicted. We use those sorts of words ... chocoholic, shopoholic -- as though they are what they say they are. Those are colloquialisms, and they become part of our speech even though they are patently incorrect, usage-wise. Words like irregardless and some others that people say without thinking about. There is no such thing as chocohol or shopohol . Those are just people who like chocolate and shopping. Anyway, that Charlie guy is in a pickle, ain't he? Unless, of course, you don't consider taking a $1.8 million per episode paycheck, spending $26,000 on a hooker and winding up in rehab being in a pickle. For some perspective, that's like someone who makes $500 a week spending $7.20 on something. Not only wouldn't you notice it, but whatever you spent it on wouldn't land you in rehab. It's the sort of thing that inspires g...

There is almost nothing that somebody won't make into a television show nowadays. There are shows about people picking junk, guys buying stuff on pawn, crazy bastards who collect junk in their homes and people who make money buying the junk that those crazy bastards collect in their homes. I guess it's because there are so many channels on cable that it's necessary to fill 24 hours of programming with stuff that people might like to watch. I'm not sure where it started. Maybe it was the American Chopper guys who started our fascination with regular people doing odd jobs? Maybe it was that Mike Rowe guy and his "Dirty Jobs," or maybe it was the " Mythbusters ?" All of them are running out of bikes , jobs and myths, so perhaps their time has run out also? Pioneers often give way to copycats, just like Phil Donahue gave way to that Oprah person. The thing that amazes me about the "Pawn Stars" show (starring the 4 fattest people on T...