My Sick Mind

I try to get excited about politics. I try. I used to give them money, but I had a long talk with myself and I stopped doing that. It's not supposed to be about money, it's supposed to be about ideas. It is about money, but I don't have to support a bad idea. I saw the stories yesterday that said Barack Obama was ready to announce his running mate, just as the Democrat convention was about to start. I went to Obama's site and signed up for the text message alert so I'd be on the announcement list. The little chime went off and I opened the text message. Joe Biden, it said. Joe Biden? The politics of change meets business as usual in Washington. The perfect pair, I suppose. Just as Joe's hair plugs were starting to blend in and he had maxed-out his golden tan, he'll be ready for prime time politics. Ugh. The guy who declared that "you can't go into a 7/11 without an Indian accent" is the Democrat vice-presidential nominee. The guy who in S...

That's right. I don't know nothin' 'bout no cycles or any of that womanly junk (as I've said), but I know a kid when I see one. Those Chinese gymnasts still have their baby teeth, and we all know baby teeth are gone long before your 16th birthday. To quote NBC commentator Al Trautwig, "We all live in the world..." and we all know a kid when we see one. Finally, the IOC is investigating the age of those ridiculous Chinese gymnasts... T he International Olympic Committee has ordered an investigation into the age of Chinese gymnast He Kexin , The Times of London reports. Faced with almost insurmountable evidence which suggests that He is two years younger than the birth date listed on her Chinese passport, the IOC has launched an inquiry that could result in the stripping of He's gold medals. This news comes on the heels of another Times report that details the findings of a New York computer security expert who found official Chinese documents that li...

I have a full refrigerator . There's something comforting in that, psychologically speaking. When you get right down to it, I'm satisfied by mundane things. A couple of bucks in my pocket, a healthy cat, some food and a job. It doesn't take much more than that. I've never been much of a thrill-seeker. I don't get the urge to have sex with last-call hookers or jump out of airplanes. I can find enough thrills in the little things, which is why I don't understand the kinds of hobbies that men find themselves drawn to. Jet skis, sky diving and the All-Terrain-Vehicles are huge indulgent wastes of money to me. If I had that much money to piss away I could find a lot better ways to piss it than to buy something that is (a) maintenance intensive and (b) potentially life-risking. That said, when someone kills themselves doing one of these things it makes me sad because to me it is avoidable. One of my little pleasures is the thrill of live music. I enjoy concerts and...

Tropical storm/Hurricane Fay.

BEIJING (AP)—China’s He Kexin won a tiebreaker over all-around champion Nastia Liukin of the United States for the uneven bars gold medal Monday at the Beijing Olympics. Both scored 16 . 725, but He got the nod because her execution marks were closer to a perfect 10 than Liukin’s. Liukin would not criticize the scoring system that does not award dual gold medals. “It’s nothing I can control, and honestly, I can say it has been very fair to me, and I got the biggest gold medal of them all,” said Liukin, winner of the women’s all-around gymnastics gold . Honestly, why do we watch this crap? Scoring systems, judges and personal bias have no place in organized sport. While watching the competition (why?) I was reminded of a line from "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," spoken by the late John Candy as Del Griffith: "Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago." Six bucks and my right nut says those Chinese gymnasts are 12 years old. The Olympi...

My bewilderment at Olympic sports continued tonight. Alicia Sacramone finished fourth in the vault final Sunday night despite bronze medalist Cheng Fei landing the second of her two vaults on her knees. Sacramone finished .025 points behind Cheng. “I can’t change her scores,” she said. “The judges made up their minds.” Cheng Fei. Isn't that furniture arranging? Then, we were treated to Bela Karolyi's "it isn't fair" rant on NBC. If anyone would know how ridiculous gymnastics scoring is, you'd figure he would. There was none of the "that's the way it is" resolution from him. He was practically in tears. I think I understood every other word, which is more than I understand about judging athletic events. Meanwhile, I'm hearing that the NBC commentators aren't saying Beijing correctly . It's bay-jing, not bey- zhing . Supposedly, the only one saying it correctly is NBC news anchor Brian Williams. All of the voice-over guys and Miste...