My Sick Mind

This is my blog on Wordie . It's an Internet toy that generates word clouds from text you provide or a link to your blog. I linked it to this blog. Frankly, I thought I used fuck a lot more than Wordie says I used it, but there ya go. From the looks of it, it doesn't go back very far for text. Try it. To quote John Blutarski , "It don't cost nothin'." I am completely out of touch. As I said the other day, I exist in a strange Universe that fails to acknowledge the existence of people whom the rest of the world idolizes. I have no idea who K-Fed is, other than his name is Kevin Federline. How he earns a living, I have no idea. Presumably, he earns it from royalties over the use of his name or just by following Britney Spears around. Salma Hayak's marriage is off. I had no idea she was engaged. I also had to look up the spelling of her name. I think she was engaged to a French sports car. A Pinault , whatever that is. Probably a two-seater. And who is th...

Joker this, Joker that. Joker, Joker, Joker. I'm already reading buzz that Heath Ledger is a shoo-in Academy Award nominee, presumably for supporting actor, although from the way it's going he's the lead in this film. I haven't seen it - and probably won't - but suffice it to say I'd hate to be one of the other 4 actors nominated against him next February. There's no way a voter is going to give anyone else the award. So, my advice if you're looking for success ... die. Death is strange business. In April, local baseball legend John Marzano died in his home, presumably of unknown circumstances. Yesterday, the coroner's report came out that said "postural asphyxia contributed to by blunt trauma and ethanol intoxication," said Jeff Moran, spokesman for the medical examiner's office. Moran said he could not elaborate. I can. Ethanol intoxication is being drunk. It's the leading cause of death among children (of all things) and cont...

John McCain's 2007 tax return shows Social Security benefits of $23,157 for the year, an average of $1,929.75 a month. McCain reported a total income of $405,409 in 2007. As a senator, he is paid $169,300 a year. Last year, he donated $105,467 to charity, his return shows . My mother is 84 and receives the same $1,929.75 a month as McCain, but unfortunately, she doesn't earn $400,000 a year working like he does. First of all, I have a problem with millionaires helping to bankrupt a bad system. Second, I thought there was a limit to how much a person could earn working while still collecting a Social Security check. In fact, I know there is. "How does McCain manage to collect a check?," I ask myself. Facial acupuncture treatment, dubbed "nonsurgical face-lift" has grown in popularity over the past few years. "Ten years ago, the alternative was Botox, fillers and all that stuff. Now, 10 years after, people are looking for alternatives to Botox and fill...

It's over. The annual exhibition game that is designed to make us misty-eyed over baseball's past and present. This year, it was designed to make us misty-eyed over that and the fact that they're tearing down an American icon - Yankee Stadium. I've never been much of a Yankees fan. In fact, I sort of enjoy it when they lose because it makes them angry because they think they're supposed to win. Since the team can't be counted on to win, the owner figured that the next best thing is a building that will consistently win. [That way, you don't have to count on the team] They're tearing down Yankee Stadium and putting up another one right next door, only this one will have expensive luxury boxes and seats behind home plate that will cost more than some people earn in a week. That's a winner, and I'm not the least bit misty-eyed about it. Television however, is in the business of making us think that something is more important than it really is,...

Ralphie : Oooh fuuudge! Ralphie as Adult : [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said the word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word! Ralphie as Adult : [narrating] It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me . - "A Christmas Story" "A Christmas Story" takes place in 1940. The "f-dash-dash-dash word" was only slightly more taboo than it is now. It's used in polite conversation, in anger and happiness, on the performance stage, movies and TV. Well, not so much on TV. At least until Monday night. That'll teach me not to watch the Home Run Derby. Our boy, Chase Utley uttered it in response to getting booed by some displaced Mets fans in Yankee Stadium during the introductions of the Home Run Derby. Did you hear it or did you need the subtitles? I thi...

Leave it to Major League baseball to take batting practice and turn it into a sporting event. Not only a sporting event, but one that they make people pay to see and one that they put on ESPN, featuring frogmouth Chris Berman, who demonstrates why the people in charge of The Masters golf tournament don't want him in the same county. Tickets to this prime event were $150 each. There were still dozens of tickets available on Ebay an hour after the event. It's hard to believe that people weren't willing to pay a premium to attend batting practice. It was on TV for a lot less than 150 bucks. It isn't that it's not entertaining, because in a strange way it is. It's that it is a spectacle with tickets and a big premium cable channel involved. The other thing that's odd is that they call it "Home Run Derby," but it's more like T-ball for grown up's. Batting practice pitchers lay in fat straight balls and hitters swing from their heels. Berma...

Some sort of bug was flittering around my condo Monday afternoon. I don't run an Insectarium , but I'd guess it's a moth. The cool blue background was nicely provided by my neighbor's lawn chair. Click on the image to see it in full size.

I went to the dentist today. I saw you cringe just a little. The dentist is one of those people that we're never happy to see. We tolerate it, as I did today, because sometimes it's just a cleaning. Even though I get the creeps when the hygienist starts scraping. I try to persevere because I don't want her to think she's hurting me. Teeth, in general give me the creeps. I don't like looking at them or looking at photos of deformed teeth. Typing teeth into a Yahoo search makes me cringe. I'll brush and floss, but beyond that I don't want anything to do with teeth. I realize the cleanings are important, but I'd rather send my teeth in separately. I'll pick them up when they're done. It must be strange to work in a dentist's office. Generally, people are there because they have to be there, not because they want to be. Then, they're usually told to do something that they don't want to do - like floss - which is most of the reas...

Walk much? Apparently not. Crystle Stewart, who became Miss USA because there is obviously no "walking" competition, became the second Miss Universe contestant to fall down in an evening gown during the competition. The fact that there is a Miss Universe at all still amazes me, let alone the fact that we're such egomaniacs that we believe that, in the entire Universe, there isn't a more beautiful woman than the one we pick. Actually, the fact that there are beauty contests at all amazes me. In a country where you get in trouble for talking about how people look, we still feel like we can arbitrate a contest between women of different countries. Find an Aborigine and ask him who he thinks is the most beautiful woman in the world. Who are the judges? Old white men and women? It's just ridiculous. M eanwhile, in Ohio (where they wobble but don't fall down) the Miss Universe of golf, Paula Creamer managed to take a first-round score of 60 and hang on by her tee...