My Sick Mind

Every once in a while I get a chance to be a decent human being. I'm not sure what it will get me later in (after)life, but I can't be bothered thinking about that. All I can do is think and react. I stopped on my way home from taking mom for a trip through the MRI machine to pick up a cold beverage for later. I decided to go fancy and chose Dogfish Head Palo Alto Marron, which, in addition to being fancy is also rather pricey. It's good for all of us that it comes in 4-packs, since it's a hefty 12% ABV, which is also the reason it's pricey. One gets what one pays for. In this case, it's $13.49. When the young lady scanned the bar code at the bottom of the box, the not-so-pricey price of $3.37 came up on the register. Without hesitation, the young lady asked for my "three thirty-seven." I started to hand her the twenty that I had prepared, but my conscience got the better of me. "Oh ... that can't be right," I said. She had a puz...

My ex-wife used to complain that I watched too much television. My contention was that I don't watch TV the way most people watch it. Hence: There is a new TV ad running for a product called Fast Brite Lens Restore . It's a wax-like cream that is supposed to take your old, fuzzy glaucoma-looking car headlight covers and make them shine brighter. When I saw the ad, something looked fishy in the before and after photos. Take a closer look and you'll see that the "Before" photo measures the headlight's illumination in LUX and the "After" measures it in footcandles ( FC ). It's not an apples-to-apples comparison. I noticed this while watching the ad and rewound the ad, froze the frame and took the photo you see here. What's the difference, you ask? The two headlights aren't being measured by the same standard. I had to look it up. One footcandle equals 10.764 lux. So, the 976 footcandles shown is the same as 90.673 lux, meaning that t...