My Sick Mind

Memorial Day. Another one of those holidays where they tell you all of the things you're supposed to do to get out and appreciate the great weather, then they come back and tell you about the horrible traffic conditions that exist because you got out and appreciated the great weather. They call it "the unofficial start of summer," which really means that it's time to hike gasoline prices and start dumping chlorine in the pool. Pools, when you think about them (and I have) are really just filtered standing water treated with chemicals. After all it goes through, is it really water? My condo association (whom I've nicknamed "The Wrath of Khan") recently gave out our pool passes. I passed. The letters went out a few weeks ago alerting us to a time and place where we could come and pick them up. This was accompanied by the annual reminder to keep kids in their "swim diapers" and to refrain from vomiting in the pool. Uh-huh. Things like that ...

If yesterday was Photo of the Day (and it was) then today stands to be Word of the Day. The word today is pointless . Used in a sentence: Amerian Idol is pointless. Several headlines across the Internet (capital I) urged us to click (the cyber version of peer pressure) to find out whom the winner was (I bet none of them used whom) of the latest installment of America's favorite game show, American Idol - as though there is a celebrity shortage that television is working to correct. Believe it or not, I resisted the urge, as I do with several urges. I also resisted the urge to see the winner of Tuesday's Dancing with the Stars , which has become more of a dancing show than a star show, but I digress. It's beyond my scope of reasoning to figure out how hundreds of thousands of contestants can logically be broken down to eight or ten finalists without knowing the outcome beforehand. There is too much left to chance to imagine that the producers of a multi-million dollar ...

Looking out my back door.

OK, so we're back on this bandwagon again. Radio and TV ads pumping-up the latest round of "click it or ticket" incomplete sentence fragment threats designed to scare us into using seat belts. I'm confused. Why? I'm glad you asked. Supposedly, the local and state police will pull you over if they see that you aren't wearing your seat belt, since it's now a primary offense. So is driving while talking on a cell phone in New Jersey, and I have yet to hear a radio or TV ad campaign directed at those nitwits. If I drive without wearing a seat belt and I have an accident, I am the only person affected. My beltless body is thrown willy nilly around my car, bouncing off my steering wheel, gear shift lever and windshield until all that's left is a greasy spot. I'm dead, and the guy in the other car is presumably still alive because he was wearing his seat belt. That's their side. If I am driving while talking on my cell phone, I am distracted and...

On Thursday, President Obama will welcome the Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers to the White House. Well, most of them. Defensive MVP James Harrison is, as Archie Bunker would say, "The lone dingbat." His well thought-out opinion goes as follows: "This is how I feel - if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl. As far as I'm concerned, he [Obama] would've invited Arizona if they had won." First, it's a strange use of the "as far as I'm concerned," and second, well ... yeah, he would have invited the Cardinals. Maybe Harrison would like to give back the ring and trophy while he's at it because, as far as I'm concerned, they would have given them to the Cardinals if they had won the game. Sheesh.