Monday, January 22, 2007

Odds and Ends (mostly odds)

Switzerland's Martina Hingis in action during her fourth round win over China's Li Na at the Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne, Monday, Jan. 22, 2007. Hingis won in three sets 4-6 6-3 6-0.

I could enjoy women's tennis a lot more if it weren't for all the grunting and screaming. I thought Maria Sharapova was giving birth on the court until I looked and saw that all she was doing was hitting a tennis ball. Geez. I wish I could find it, but I remember reading a magazine article that said it was a bad idea to yell and scream while lifting weights. Something about the pressure it puts on some delicate body parts...I forget exactly. Tennis coaches must be teaching it at an early age, because it's pervasive and unbearable. If the golfers start with it, I won't have any peace.

OK, so it's a week and six days from America's greatest secular holiday (a.k.a. Super Bowl Sunday), and already I'm up to here (pointing at my throat) with the "two black head coaches" stories. As I said before, it shouldn't be a story if we really want to have racial equality, but I suppose we do not, hence the constant harping on racial differences and milestones - Super Bowl notwithstanding.

So....
Because of failed batteries, poor lighting and other vagaries, all the clocks in my place are displaying a different time. As I move from room to room, I feel like I'm in an H.G. Wells novel. I have to keep my eye on at least one clock so I don't miss my favorite Monday night comedies. I need to laugh, you see. Dubya is going to recite his State of the Union address on Tuesday night, and I fear for my life, sanity and other fragile bodily functions. I'm ready for Old Broad's Blogger Drinking Game. Stop by and imbibe.

Meanwhile...
Paris Hilton is proving why it's better to be rich than (anything) smart. You may remember that she was pulled over for Driving Under the Influence some time ago. Well, it seems as though our girl has plea bargained down from D.U.I. to reckless driving, which requires a modest fine and some community service (the Poor Community she's designated to serve - God help them). There's a lie in her story as big as a Chi Chi's margarita when she said she only "
consumed only a single margarita at a charity event that evening." Her blood alcohol level was .08, which would make for one Hell of a margarita. Oh, to be rich and stupid. Maybe in the next life.

And ladies ... I implore you...
PALOS HEIGHTS, Ill. - Nine months pregnant and married to a fervent Bears fan with tickets to Sunday's NFC Championship game, Colleen Pavelka didn't want to risk going into labor during the game against the New Orleans Saints. Due to give birth on Monday, Pavelka's doctor told her Friday she could induce labor early. She opted for the Friday delivery. "I thought, how could (Mark) miss this one opportunity that he might never have again in his life?" said Pavelka, 28, from the southwestern Chicago suburb of Homer Glen.

Yeah, geez ... a once-in-a-lifetime football game vs. what....the birth of your child? The nerve of that kid getting in the way of your football game, Mark. I hope, for the kid's sake, that it's a once in a lifetime event for his parents. And how about that doctor? Hey, what's a little induced labor when there's a football game to watch?

10 comments:

Kate Michele said...

Stupid? What about those that our letting the rich and stupid get away with crap with just a slap on the wrist??

So i'm venturing to guess you don't find the grunting in tennis erotic then?

I feel bad for the kid when he's old enough to understand that story...Gee will make him feel so loved so loved that he's papa put such thought into when he should be born...instead of leaving that up to nature. Football....is it over yet??

Anthony said...

No, not erotic at all. And believe me, I've tried!

Apparently, it's part of California law to be able to plea bargain a DUI down to reckless driving. I'm moving tomorrow.

Yes, football is over. All that's left is a big TV show. It's on Sunday, February 4.

Sparky Duck said...

not gonna stick up for Paris here, but i saw on TMZ that here b/a limit was not even enough to be drunk in NJ.

I was hopin the black coach thing would be mentioned once and that would be it, because it should be treated like a hey these 2 graduated from Tennessee in the same year.

Maria Sharapova is too hot to make fun of.

Anthony said...

her blood alcohol was .08 -- plenty for NJ. And too much for "one margarita". Unless she weighs 12 pounds.

Sharapova is hot, but nobody is off limits!

Pam said...

I think Paris does weigh 12 pounds...soaking wet.

Inducing a birth to fit a football schedule. sheez. Inductions are no easy thing. That doc ought to know better even if the parents don't.

bananas62 said...

GO BEARS!!! You knew that at the forefront of this "big game" (go BEARS!)the media would make a big deal about the African American Coaches...NO WONDER, there is so much racial tension in this country!
During any of this, did anyone mention that LOVIE SMITH is the lowest paid Head Coach in the NFL??? NO, huh? With one year left on his contract, I hope they renew BIG!!!! He deserves it!!! GO BEARS!!!!! :-)

bananas62 said...

OH Yeah, I wasn't going to mention the whole Paris incident... but it just goes to show..MONEY DOESN'T BUY CLASS!!!

have a good day!!!!

Sparky Duck said...

see, been gone too long, im used to the .10 NJ

Carmen said...

football vs. birth. football vs. birth. hard choice. They should've thought of that BEFORE! :)

Me said...

Thanks for setting me straight. Here I was, thinking it was the MIDDLE EAST (according to Condi) that was going through "birthing pangs" and all along it was Maria Sharapova.
Oh, and thanks. :-)