My Sick Mind

Impressionable utes weren't the only ones watching when Cincinnati Reds owner Bob Castellini (right) passed out victory cigars and then lit up after his team clinched the NL Central title at Great American Ball Park on Tuesday. Also watching at home on television were at least five whistle-blowers who noted that the Reds were violating Ohio's indoor-smoking ban. They called Cincinnati's health department to report the team and now the Cincinnati Enquirer reports the club is under investigation. So, apparently ice cream isn't the only thing that watchdog groups are after. Now, they're making the world safe from enjoyment. If they are caught by Ohio health inspectors, the Reds could be fined $100. That'll teach them. Meanwhile, every once in a while one of these "America's ... something " lists comes up. America's Fattest Cities, America's Most Attractive People or some such nonsense, leading us to believe that America's pop...

There is a baseball team in Tampa, Florida. You can check the American League standings to prove it. They're listed under "AL East" and they're often near the top of the list, right there with the Yankees. The problem is (if you see it as a problem) that the people in Tampa do not support the team, and that angers a couple of their players, notably third baseman Evan Longoria and pitcher David Price. "We go out there and play hard for 162 games, and for the fans to show the kind of support they're showing right now, you kind of wonder what else you have to do as a player." Longoria said in the St. Petersburg Times. Price put this blurb on his Twitter page: "Had a chance to clinch a post season spot tonight with about 10,000 fans in the stands....embarrassing" For one thing, athletes should be quicker to learn that Twitter is not helping them. Sooner or later, they're going to abandon it because all it seems to do is get them into trouble. ...

SOUTH BURLINGTON, Vt. – Ice cream maker Ben & Jerry's is dropping the phrase "all natural" from all labels after a request from a health advocacy group. The Center for Science in the Public Interest and the company confirmed the move Monday. The CSPI told the company last month it should not use "all natural" if products contain alkalized cocoa, corn syrup, hydrogenated oil or other ingredients that are not natural. So there you go. Another killjoy gang of do-gooders trying to make the world safe from corn syrup. The bigger problem is that companies like Ben and Jerry's kowtow to people like this because they're afraid of some bad publicity. What their marketing people don't understand is that people like – no, they want junk in their food. We like hydrogenated oil, salt, sugar and other additives that make food taste good to us. Otherwise, they would figure out a way to make tree bark flavored ice cream and replace sugar with beach sand. It...