Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Do we only care because it's on TV?

I just saw an ad for a new TV show with Melissa Rivers. The plot line involves her mom Joan moving in. I'd tell you what time and channel it's on, but I couldn't concentrate on the ad because Joan's face is so freakishly disfigured from plastic surgery that I couldn't concentrate. You'd think that someone with her money could have afforded to get the best doctors and avoid looking like a cartoon character. She said a couple of sentences, but I couldn't understand because her face doesn't move when she speaks. Maybe that's the point of the show - a kind of "scared straight" look at cosmetic surgery? That's what I'm getting out of it so far.
Meanwhile, Oprah made what she called a "major announcement" on her TV show. She revealed that she has a half-sister. The first thing I thought of was the tremendous ego on somebody who thinks that the world cares enough that she has a half-sister that she would structure an entire hour-long TV show about it. What is frightening is that people do care. I don't have the education or time to attempt to explain that.
Her half-sister undertook the arduous task of tracking down her history and contacting Oprah privately, and said "family business needs to be handled by family."
Until, of course, you can make it into a television show.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Are potato chips really Veggie Crisps? You make the call.

One of the things that has been bugging me over the past few days is a dietary decision I made, and how it might have been a mistake. I try to do the right thing and eat the right things, but I am sometimes lured into thinking that something is good for me when in fact, it's the same old crap.
I eat too much potato chips. Every time I buy a sandwich, I walk out with a 2-ounce bag of chips, which, in spite of the wheat bread and no cheese option on the sandwich, seems to negate any benefit. Instead, I have opted for Herr's Veggie Crisps, which usually sit on or near the bottom of the chip rack, out of view of adults and others whose eyes find the regular chips before the veggie options. That's called marketing.
It is called a "Mixed Vegetable Snack," which you may or may not find to be an accurate description. I think it depends on whether you work for Herr's or are a consumer. It is definitely a snack. We could debate the "all natural" description, but I don't have enough time for that, and you don't have the patience to read it. Let's just say that "natural" has no official description, so companies can use the term to include salt and oils as natural, because there aren't artificial versions of salt and oils.
Upon further review, and reading the ingredients of the Veggie Crisps, I found that they are definitely crisps and sort of veggie.
As you can see (I hope) from the ingredients, the number one ingredient is potato flour, which of course, is a vegetable - or at least a powdered vegetable. It's followed by "May Contain One or More of the Following..." What in Hell does that mean? Don't they know what is in this stuff? May contain? I may pay for it, how's that?
Other "vegetable" ingredients are tomato paste and spinach powder. Otherwise, they're just glorified potato chips, which I suppose the gang at Herr's would tell me is a vegetable, so it isn't false advertising - unless one was looking to get away from potato chips - in which case, it is.
The front of the bag proclaims that it is a "Mixed Vegetable Snack," so I guess I'm supposed to see the mixed vegetables in the bunch of powder and pastes that they cram into potato chips to call it a Veggie Crisp.
Hey, Herr's. You make great products, but don't try to con me into thinking I'm not eating potato chips when I'm actually eating potato chips sprinkled with powder and paste.
Maybe the Herr's marketing people should just have the Veggie Crisps placed up high on the shelf with their regular potato chips? That's where they belong, since they're really potato chips. Potatoes are a vegetable, too.
Either that, or you can start calling your potato chips Veggie Chips, so that people will think they're eating something that's good for them.