My Sick Mind

Begin reading the following paragraph and see if you can tell me where I zoned out... BARCELONA (Reuters) - "Galactic Suite," the first hotel planned in space, expects to open for business in 2012 and would allow guests to travel around the world in 80 minutes. Its Barcelona-based architects say the space hotel will be the most expensive in the galaxy, costing $4 million for a three-day stay. Which is precisely where I lost interest. Once I regained consciousness, I saw that the proprietors said that there are about 40,000 people in the world who could afford the trip, and no way of knowing how many of them wanted to go. There are 6.6 billion people in the world , and we're busy building something that maybe 40,000 of them would use. Meanwhile, bridges are falling down, gasoline is being burned, children are growing up without a proper education, millions do not have adequate health insurance or earn a livable wage, millions more are hungry and for 3 days I didn't ...

Uggh. This guy again. He's got to be at 14:59 by now. I like the way they have to keep reminding us that he's "the 30 year old", as though his Time Tunnel looks will make us realize that he's probably getting AARP membership applications in the mail. After that stunning Ford commercial , the sky is the limit for the guy that "captured the hearts and minds of more than 63.4 million", several of whom voted for him multiple times. Trace those calls next time. I'll bet they got the 3.4 million right. The 6 I'm not so sure of. I like the part of the commercial where they focus on his feet. They're both moving. Amazing . And what a voice .... static set to music. Meanwhile, I've figured out a way to save 100% on tickets. I'm not buying them. How do I block that e-mail address?

How does a random song get stuck in my head for an entire day? Today, it was Steely Dan's "Green Earrings". I had to listen to it when I got home to get rid of it. I don't mind. Of course, Steely Dan is like potato chips - you can't listen to just one. What is with the sport coats? I'm watching ESPN's Sports Center and there's a reporter in Dallas (where it's 96 degrees) talking about how hot it is and how the players are going to suffer in tonight's pre-season opener. So, doofus, take off the sport coat and necktie. It makes you look like you're too stupid to be comfortable. Would you leave the house in a regular jacket if the temperature was 100 degrees? Not without people questioning your sanity. It bothers me that men are "forced" to wear a jacket regardless of the temperature, because of some perceived issue over formality. It's hot. Be a man and take the jacket off. Can someone explain to me the purpose of the automob...

Grunts, cheers and the cries of frightened children broke the silence as parents sought to shield their youngsters from the chaos. In the middle of it all was 22-year-old New Yorker Matt Murphy, who emerged from beneath the pile holding the ball Bonds hit for career home run No. 756. His face was bloodied and his clothes stretched and torn from his battle in the bleachers. - Jason Dearen, Associated Press The record is broken. Let the bickering begin. The most iconic record in sports has fallen for the second time in 33 years. I have vague recollections about a lot of things, including April 8, 1974. I remember the announcer saying, "He did it! It's seven-fifteen!" Immediately, I looked at the clock and it was 9:07, not 7:15. How could the guy be off by almost 2 hours? Seriously, the biggest issue over the Bonds record is the stench of steroids or whatever other performance enhancing drug he may be pumping into his body. Does caffeine count as a performance enhancer? If ...

"Our long, national nightmare is over." - Gerald R. Ford It's freezing in here! I haven't said that in the 16 years I've lived here. When I got up this morning, it was 74 degrees inside. I've never been able to get this place below 77 - ever. I'll have to adjust the thermostat now. So, that ugliness is behind me, and all I have to do is figure out a way to pay for it. For my buddy to the north, here's a photo of the giant green monster in my side yard. The big bucks also included a new coil for the inside unit which ran about 12 hundred, and a day's labor for three people. If I had known how much of a difference it would make, I would have had it done years ago. I actually might save enough on my electric bill to pay for the thing in - oh, like - 10 years! For all you tecnho-geeks out there, it's a 2 and a half ton unit that replaced the woefully undersized unit I had. It will keep the air drier and it will run more efficiently than the old on...

I know people lived in multi-story dwellings prior to the invention of air conditioning. I've seen pictures and heard tales from people my mother's age about the sweltering summers before Willis H. Carrier developed modern air conditioning units. I remember seeing movie theaters with the words AIR CONDITIONING spelled out in little blue icicles, enticing the uncomfortable masses to wander in for a mediocre movie in return for 2 hours of cool, dry air. I didn't live in an air conditioned home until I moved here in 1991. For 34 years, I toiled away in warm ignorance. We had this intricate system of fans located strategically around the house. Some drew air from one room while others blew air into another. NASA scientists couldn't have devised a more perfect system. Maybe it worked or maybe we were happy because it was the best we could do. Now, I'm in this second floor hot box with windows in odd locations that couldn't accept a window air conditioner even if th...

You know those kind of days that you wish you had slept through? I had two of them in a row. On Saturday , the power went out for a couple of hours, which wasn't so bad, since it happened in the morning and I could actually sleep through it. Sunday , however ... started with a flat tire on the bike, which is never a good start. They're easy to change, but just a mild pain in the ass. When I got home, I was hoping for the cool comfort of the great indoors, but I noticed that the place was a tad bit warmer than usual - like 10 degrees. The blower was running, but warm air was coming out. Crap. For those of you outside the area, we're going through a bit of hot weather these days. Today wasn't as bad as it's been, and it isn't as bad as it's going to get. Add to that the fact that I'm in a second floor condo, and you see the dire need of air conditioning. It was 88 degrees in the place at 4 o'clock this afternoon. The ceiling fans started running, and s...