My Sick Mind

Saying that we aren't allowed to do something is the best way to get us to do something. Prior to a couple of weeks ago , I would have passed by the Four Loko display at my local liquor store without a sideways glance. Tonight, however, I glanced directly at it and brought home a couple of cans of the stuff to sample over the weekend. Thanks, FDA, for drawing attention to a potentially death-inducing drink. You're doing your job. I waited until the weekend because I figured, if the stuff is going to cause me a near-death experience (as the FDA would have us believe) then I'd have at least 24 hours to recover before I had to go back to work on Monday. That should leave enough time to get the breathing tube out of my throat, transfuse my blood and discharge me from the hospital. I need a couple of hours to pack my lunch and do some laundry. So, there it is, on the top shelf of the fridge. Lemon lime and Orange blend. Between the Almond Breeze and the Cod Liver Oil....

I stopped watching Dancing with the Stars a few years ago, when they ran out of stars. I'm still fascinated by the concept, however, and I follow the show in absentia by reading the news stories that circulate after each results show. I notice that Sarah Palin's devil spawn, Bristol is still on the show in spite of being given low scores by the show's judges, to the point of having to defend herself for being there. Rational thinking people say she is a bad dancer, yet she continues on the show, presumably because of the votes she gets from the viewers. She gets tons of them, no doubt from the Tea Baggers that support her mother. Somebody should check to see whom the show's producers supported for president in 2008 and where their money goes. It says here that they are probably big supporters of the Republican party and have figured out a way to use their television show to put their favorite candidate front and center. I smell a conspiracy. Sarah's new book, ...

One of the great things about great things is not letting anybody in on the greatness. Usually, some professional buzz killer gets wind of it and snuffs it out in a wave of government legislation or a massive lawsuit that renders the greatness ... well, not so great. The latest, greatest product that is destined to meet its governmental doom is Four Loko , a blend of 12% alcohol and the caffeiene equivalent of about 5 cups of coffee. Like Buzz Beer in the old The Drew Carey Show , it's designed to let you get drunk and stay up so you can get drunk again. Quite a concept. Lately, some stupid college kids have OD'ed on the stuff and have been injured and/or carted off to local hospitals with dazed expressions and the confusion of a person who doesn't know whether to pass out or go bowling. It's a strange sensation, and the youth of America apparently do not know how to deal with the miracles of modern alcoholic science. There are plenty of high-alcohol beers around. We...

I'm fond of telling people that I've lived long enough to have endured every incarnation of audio and video since the dawn of the stuff. I'm not sure it's a proud accomplishment, rather something borne of longevity rather than some special skill. The video history arc is significantly smaller, having only brought about video tape and DVD. Although, we were faced with the initial choice of VHS or Betamax - at the time a startlingly difficult one. The choice involved a significant monetary expense, and we thought at the time that it would be one from which there would be no escape. Then, along came the DVD, and life got a little more complicated. As with the last incarnation, it required more expensive equipment, but the bigger outlay would be the replacement of all the stuff we bought on video tape a scant 20 years earlier. That's generally the problem. Now, we are faced with the Blu Ray disc - the younger, smarter sibling of the DVD - but at least the trans...

She has been lurking around, griping and yelling about things she doesn't understand , giving speeches and getting her face on TV. Now, she's invading our homes (well, maybe your home ) on a weekly basis with the latest in a seemingly endless stream of so-called reality shows. Sarah Palin. The TV show is called " Sarah Palin's Alaska ," and it features her and her clan of cave bears and illigitimate children hunting, fishing, boating and doing all those things that Alaskans are famous for. It's all designed to show what a "real person" Palin is, and how back-woodsy and interesting she is. That is, it's designed to make us forget what she is really like. As if that wasn't enough (and it isn't) she has written another book (which no doubt, outnumbers the ones she has read) that is coming out on November 23. This one is called " America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag " where she manages to get all 4 key catch wo...