My Sick Mind

We love our holidays. We're into a big one now, and even bigger ones to follow. This one, we are told, is all about giving thanks for something and realizing how fortunate we are to live when we do - or to live at all. Nice and schmaltzy, as the holidays were intended. But, we don't just like a holiday. We like a holiday with something substantial attached to it. I'm not talking about remembering war veterans, giving thanks or celebrating America. I'm talking about big sales at a store, eating and drinking. The eating thing is attached to this one, to the point that we wish people a "Happy Turkey Day" instead of using the more traditional Thanksgiving name. When I go back to work on Monday I'll be asked what I had for dinner on Thursday. When I say I had chicken, I'll get that quizzical look and the "What, no turkey?" question, which implies that I violated some sacred holiday tradition. In fact, the tradition is the holiday, and we have ch...

It's the unofficial start of summer, a big day for barbecuing, a great day to find a cheap piece of furniture or grab a big sale somewhere and a day off from work for most of us. However, the disgusting abundance of retail businesses that are open today is a concept I don't quite grasp. While I realize that there is more money to be made by being open on a holiday than not, I would think that a sense of history and respect would prevent it. Maybe it is because so many businesses are owned by non-native Americans that keeps them open, I don't know. I could assume it is simple greed, and I would at least be partly correct. In the United States, today is Memorial Day, which we have been celebrating in one form or another since 1866. It used to be called Decoration Day, but was officially declared Memorial Day in 1967. Until 1968 it was celebrated on May 30, but the U.S. Government passed the Uniform Holidays Bill, and it was moved to the last Monday in May. And therein lies...

Memorial Day. Another one of those holidays where they tell you all of the things you're supposed to do to get out and appreciate the great weather, then they come back and tell you about the horrible traffic conditions that exist because you got out and appreciated the great weather. They call it "the unofficial start of summer," which really means that it's time to hike gasoline prices and start dumping chlorine in the pool. Pools, when you think about them (and I have) are really just filtered standing water treated with chemicals. After all it goes through, is it really water? My condo association (whom I've nicknamed "The Wrath of Khan") recently gave out our pool passes. I passed. The letters went out a few weeks ago alerting us to a time and place where we could come and pick them up. This was accompanied by the annual reminder to keep kids in their "swim diapers" and to refrain from vomiting in the pool. Uh-huh. Things like that ...