My Sick Mind

It's the dreaded holiday season. The time of year when those of us who are displaced in society have to put on the happy face and wish others a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year, even though, as Lennon said in "Help" - I don't Subscribe to your religion. Whatever that religion is. Something tells me the religion is guilt and the guilt plays itself out in the form of how large a pile of junk one can accumulate under a dead tree that somehow translates into the love mom and/or dad feels for their children. It's a sick and twisted society we live in. I gave up on that concept in the mid-70s, once I realized that the silliness of the holiday didn't translate into actual love but artificial love. Love via Visa or MasterCard. It can be an enjoyable season, but it's for kids and couples and I find myself lacking in both, so for me, it's just another day on the calendar. We will hear news stories of how this "holiday shopping season" is the worst e...

Three days. That's a record, I think. But I, like Mister Ed will only speak when I have something to say, so I hope this wait has been worth the effort. Sometimes I think I should be jotting down these little life events because they'd make a nice screenplay - then I realize I am. Waiting in line at the grocery last night, in my usual "15 items or less - cash only" lane for what seemed like hours but was only minutes while a price-check went on, the woman in front of me piled her 15 items or less on the conveyor. When she got to the Holy Grail of the register, the cashier informed her that it was a cash only lane, and the credit card she was planning to use was inert. Somehow, the customer had missed the "Cash Only" part of the "15 items or less" sign. I wondered what she was doing while we were standing around. Today at work, slightly after noon, a co-worker lurked into my cubicle and started on a monologue that roughly resembled something wo...

WASHINGTON – Detroit's Big Three automakers pleaded with a reluctant Congress Tuesday for a $25 billion lifeline to save the once-proud titans of U.S. industry, pointedly warning of a national economic catastrophe should they collapse. Millions of layoffs would follow their demise, they said, as damaging effects rippled across an already-faltering economy. "Our industry ... needs a bridge to span the financial chasm that has opened up before us," General Motors Corp. CEO Rick Wagoner told the Senate Banking Committee. He blamed the industry's predicament not on management failures but on the deepening global financial crisis. Boo-hoo. We need money! Help us, help us! Auntie Em, Uncle Henry! It's a twister, it's a twister! I am here to extend a hail and hearty "Fuck you" to the automakers and their management failures and their childish begging for money lest they take their toys and go home. I say, "Go home, failed dinosaurs." Apparently,...

I think, if you gave athletes a quiz about the rules of their sport, most of them would fail. Yesterday's Eagles/Bengals game ended in a tie, screwing with office pools everywhere . Several Eagles players were quoted as not knowing that the game would end in a tie if neither team scored during the overtime period, in spite of it being called "sudden death overtime." Eagles quarterback Dumbass McNabb didn't know games could end in ties. "I've never been a part of a tie. I never even knew that was in the rule book. It's part of the rules and we have to go with it. I was looking forward to the next opportunity to get out there and try to drive to win the game." Then, he used that acquired knowledge to further embarrass himself: "I'd hate to see what happens in the Super Bowl or I'd hate to see what happens in the playoffs, to settle with a tie," he said. A kid making minimum wage at a retail store knows more about the company's...