My Sick Mind

As with so many things , I find the holiday season particularly fascinating, but (as with so many things) not in the ways in which you would imagine. Year after year it's the same thing. Hoards of shoppers, agony over what to buy for people, the struggle of how to pay for it all and the (seemingly) endless bombardment of advertising directed at us in an effort to make the season "happy", as though it all equated with happiness somehow. We think that all that junk we wheel out of the store, wrap in cheap paper and place under a dead indoor evergreen tree will translate into gratification and (eventually) happiness, when all it really does is make us want more junk that subsequent years will bring. While that stuff may bring happiness, it is fleeting and the financial measure is what really matters sometimes. The shallow among us compare what we spent versus what they spent and use that as a gauge for the level of love. The spirit of Christmas is measured by what is in...

Thanks, HBO . I had to search a little (or a lot), but there's something called HBO Comedy, way up there on channel 305 of my cable. That's where I found the Curb Your Enthusiasm marathon that started Thrusday night and ran until 8pm on Friday. Interrupted only by sleep and a trip to the gym, I had 24 hours of Curb episodes running constantly on the TV, which was nice since there was crap on otherwise. That's the kind of mundane nonsense that makes life bearable around here during the holidays - or the ersatz advertising-induced holiday that we call Black Friday. I resisted the urge to flip on the local news, but I'm sure if I did, I would have been treated to images of goofy shoppers being trampled at the local electronics store or the local department stores that were open long before I crawled out of bed and flipped on the TV. Even though I have the DVDs perched nicely on the shelves next to the TV, it's nice to have them running on TV while somebody else c...

Thanksgiving is as close to a National holiday as we get, unless you count the retailers, who seem to have no shame. After dinner and a game of Mexican Train Dominos with mom, we sat down for some TV. I had no idea that so many stores were either open today (K-Mart) or opening at midnight tonight (Value City). Of course, there are the usual early morning openings (Circuit City and Boscov's), but it seems that it's getting worse (more greedy) instead of better. Year after year , the retail industry whines and moans about how it's going to be a tough season. Either because Thanksgiving is "late" and Xmas is "early" (fewer shopping days) or because people have less money to spend because of high energy prices or the increasing costs of living. Blogger's Note: I choose to take the Christ out of Xmas by replacing it with the heathen "X". Friday , the local news will be jam packed with stories about the rush of shoppers at Best Buy, Circuit C...

As you no doubt remember , today was my Renoir Day at the Art Museum. I love art but I am not a student of it, so whenever I get the chance I take advantage of the guided tour. The one that our Art Museum puts on for its Renoir exhibition is particularly good, and if you are so inclined I highly recommend it. Other than our excellent guide , the best thing about the tour was that it took place an hour before the gallery opened to the public, so we had the place to ourselves for the better part of the hour, making for a peaceful roaming period. I won't bore you with the details of the exhibition (unless you insist) other than to say that it is a wonderful exhibition, even though one thing leaves me wondering. What is it? Glad you asked. As is always the case , the exhibition leads to the gift shop. Galleries and museums are built that way, and we expect it. The thing that bothers me is the choice of souvenirs. Artists spend a lifetime of sweat and toil, often in abject poverty - s...

“I dreamed about Ray Charles last night. He could see just fine.” - Joan Osborne, “Spider Web” I was in the Academy of Music in Philadelphia, getting ready to watch a show that featured (among others) Ringo Starr, Paul McCartney and his wife Linda. Before the show began, each of the principles emerged from a place in the audience, “excuse me"-ing their way across the aisles and onto the stage. Linda was groped by a couple of guys and she politely laughed it off, and seemed to enjoy it. The show began and they started to play some unrecognizable music. I could hear the music , but I couldn’t see very well because the people in front of me had giant heads that I couldn’t see around. At one point, a child decided to move and the man in front of me moved into the child’s seat. “Thank you,” I thought. Now I can hear and see. At one point in the show, a man emerged from a few rows in front of me playing some sort of giant guitar with an extremely long neck and a tiny body. Maybe...

If I was a member of the Writers Guild (currently on strike) I'd be perfectly comfortable right now. Richard Lewis used to open his shows by saying, "I have so much on my mind - and yet - I have nothing to say." I hear ya, brother. Right now , I have an internal battle being waged. It's between Dulcolax and Advil PM . Pick a winner. Better yet, don't . One will be determined. Before I nod off on the toilet, I'll let you in on a few things going on around here. I have a five-day weekend planned for this coming Thanksgiving week. I'll be off work Wednesday, roaming the streets of Philadelphia. First, I'll be hanging at the Art Museum at the Renoir Landscapes Exhibit . I signed up for the guided tour, which takes place at 9:30am, which means at 8am, I'll be on a New Jersey Transit bus headed for the museum. How I'll get from 12th and Market to the far end of the Parkway is as yet undetermined, but there could be a taxi ride in my future. We ...

I flipped on the TV today and found that ABC was showing the MLS (that's soccer) championship game in hi-definition, so naturally, I expected NBC to show the LPGA ADT Championship in a likewise fashion. But, no. Sadly, the hi-def package for which Comcast charges me extra for was not in use for the three hours of coverage of the last tournament of the ladies' season today. Soccer gets the hi-def treatment, I'm assuming, due to its huge popularity. Sure. I'll still get the bill, but I won't like it. I'm guessing that Lorena won't be able to get that giant check through the pneumatic tube at her local bank - but it will be fun trying. By the way , the New England ML Soccer team is called the Revolution , which to me, signifies that we have run out of names for sports teams. The announcers (yes, I had the game on long enough to pay attention to the announcers) were telling us that the fans (there are fans) of the Revolution were hoping that the recent good fo...

I was making my usual Sunday run to the big Post Office with my bag of Ebola items, and I walked in just ahead of a woman who needed to use the small stamp machine to buy a stamp to mail a letter. She began griping because the machine had a sign hanging on it, saying "Out of Order", which I happen to know has been hanging there for a number of days. Frustrated , she began to walk out when I summoned her over to my fancy box-weighing machine, saying, "I can get a stamp for you." As it turned out , I had to buy a book. I pulled a stamp out for her and she offered to give me the dollar that she was going to use in the smaller machine. "No, I don't want your dollar. Take the stamp. It will be my good deed for today," I told her, and I gave her the stamp. "Thank you. This will keep me from being evicted for another month," she said as she put the stamp on the envelope and dropped it in the box. "You have a good day." "You too,...