My Sick Mind

The nitwit patrol is out in Trenton this week, and I was once again reminded why I don't watch local news. This one comes from nitwit #1, named L.A. Parker, who works (allegedly) for The Trentonian, one of the local rags that publishes bird cage liner in Trenton, New Jersey. To wit... TRENTON - Internet photos of a local school director who lives a second life as a biker chick for her boyfriend-boss are serving as eye candy for students under her supervision. Photos lingering on the World Wide Web of the 20-something Kelly Zimmerman, a former Titusville Academy teacher turned director of Lighthouse Academy in Ewing, show the hot divorcee in fine form and working a July crowd into a frenzy at Del’s July Fry in Englishtown. The adolescent boys at Lighthouse Academy - an institution that serves male students with social and emotional problems - could see Zimmerman in an entirely different light as she struts in her bikini and black heels or watches as other bikini babes show off. Che...

I flipped on the TV today and found that ABC was showing the MLS (that's soccer) championship game in hi-definition, so naturally, I expected NBC to show the LPGA ADT Championship in a likewise fashion. But, no. Sadly, the hi-def package for which Comcast charges me extra for was not in use for the three hours of coverage of the last tournament of the ladies' season today. Soccer gets the hi-def treatment, I'm assuming, due to its huge popularity. Sure. I'll still get the bill, but I won't like it. I'm guessing that Lorena won't be able to get that giant check through the pneumatic tube at her local bank - but it will be fun trying. By the way , the New England ML Soccer team is called the Revolution , which to me, signifies that we have run out of names for sports teams. The announcers (yes, I had the game on long enough to pay attention to the announcers) were telling us that the fans (there are fans) of the Revolution were hoping that the recent good fo...

Wasn't it just yesterday that I wondered about our local weather forecast? Sure it was . Sometimes, I think maybe I'm a little too rough on our local weather people. After all, they have high school diplomas and nice suits. Plus, there's all those fancy weather gadgets that the stations must pay a lot of money for. That's why their forecasts are so accurate. It's the combination of their extensive education combined with how nice they look and their ability to color maps so nicely. Scroll down to Friday's post with the image of the NBC10 forecast. I don't know what they call it. The one on the ABC affiliate is called AccuWeather, like that's supposed to make it more trustworthy. Generally, they're all the same. Whatever it's called, they painted a pretty rosy picture for our weekend around here. That's why I was so surprised to wake up Saturday morning, expecting to prepare for our weekly 8am bike ride with the shop . It was foggy, which isn...

I just don’t know sometimes. Are the local news stations so hungry for ratings that they will stoop to baiting us to watch? Yes, they are. So, I guess I do know , don’t I? Thursday night, during The Office , local weather guy Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz cajoled us into tuning in at 11 by saying, “See how the coastal storm will affect our weekend weather, tonight.” Sure Glenn, I’ll hang around for another 3 hours and wait for you to guess. Let me run out and buy a lottery ticket too. I have the same chance of being right as you. Rather than be suckered into watching stories about local fires, traffic tie-up’s and missing pets I decided to get some shuteye and allow the weather events to transpire as they will. Then, this morning I did what any right-thinking person would do when curious about something – I went to their web site . Here is how the coastal storm is going to affect our weather this weekend: I guess the coastal storm is going to miss us, but those mid-80s temperatures and ...

OK, so I'm bored on July 4 th . No picnics or family Bar-Be-Que's to attend, so my thoughts turn to the weather and how the masses will deal with it. Local dumbass on NBC10 says, "There's rain in the forecast for the fireworks, so keep your eyes to the skies." Really? Ya think? Isn't that where the fireworks are? It's six o'clock. Three hours from the fireworks, and dumbass can't tell his viewers whether or not they should go outside to watch the fireworks on the Parkway. If he can, he's too gutless to make a call because if he does, he will be held responsible for something, and God knows, at a half a million a year, he doesn't want to be held responsible for anything. Go - and pack an umbrella in case we are wrong - or not wrong, since we haven't really expressed an opinion - only a viewpoint. Legally, there is a difference. So, here it is, 9:45pm, and I can hear both rain and fireworks going off outside my window. Three hours prio...