My Sick Mind

1,216 of these things, dating back to April 1, 2006. A few of you may have read all of them. I suspect that if you have, your eyesight isn't what it used to be. I'm not sure what happens to them - if they just stay here in perpetuity or if one day the link will say "Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage." Mostly, they're rants about something or other that's in the news or some topical issue that's probably irrelevant by now. That's how it is with rants. They seem important at the time, but looking back, we wonder what we were so twisted about. Like all that paperwork and junk that we "save, because you never know when we'll need it." We don't need it. Today is Cinco de Mayo, which I think means that it's the fifth of May in Mexico. Actually, it translates to May five. The fifth of May would be Quinto de Mayo, but I digress. In America, it's another excuse to go out and get drunk. This time, it isn't green beer,...

Joe Biden talks and people listen. WASHINGTON – Joe Biden said Thursday he advised his family to stay off airplanes and subways because of the swine flu, a remark that forced the vice president's office to backtrack, the travel industry to cry foul and other government officials to try to massage Biden's message. "I would tell members of my family — and I have — that I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now," Biden said on NBC's "Today" show. Within two hours, Biden's office issued a statement backing off the remarks and suggesting he was talking about travel to Mexico. Right. The subway is a great way to get to Mexico. Paso subterráneo. Cincuenta centavos, por favor. It would be nice, once in a while, when one of these people says something and gets called on it, that he backed up what he said instead of backing off. Try this: “That’s right, I said it, and if you didn’t hear it the first time, I’ll say it again.” Backpedaling and adjus...

WASHINGTON — The acting head of the Centers for Disease Control said Monday that people can best protect themselves against the swine flu threat by taking precautions they were taught as kids, like frequently washing their hands. Asked what individual steps should be taken, Richard Besser replied: "The things that we learned when we were little, covering a cough ... staying home when you have a fever, frequent hand-washing. If people do these things, it will decrease the spread in our communities." I'm not sure, because I'm not too bright - but I think covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze is a lot like spitting into your hand, and I wouldn't want to think we were being advised to do that in order to prevent the spread of a disease. Are we?