My Sick Mind

That clanging noise you heard today was me succumbing to social pressure and trading in my cable box for one of those DVR cable boxes so I could record programs that I wasn't able to watch. Because of social obligations and baseball games, I haven't been able to see one episode of The Office , and I missed the last episode of The New Adventures of Old Christine and FlashForward . I know, your heart bleeds for me. So I bit down hard and decided to cough-up the $15.95 a month and go after the DVR box. Being new technology, there's a slight learning curve involved, but I'm able to adapt. For instance, catching up on The Office costs me 99 cents per episode, while Christine episodes are free. What's up with that? So, I'm out another six bucks because I like Pam. The plus side is that I can watch those programs sans commercials, except for the network ads, which, in the case of the CBS show, hyped up the ridiculous Survivor program that I have managed to avoi...

OCTOBER 23 - CNN - A bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, Kyrgyz officials said Friday.In the incident, which happened Thursday, the 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, Dmitry Potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him. "The incident occurred during a rehearsal by the Russian state circus company troupe which was performing in Bishkek with the program, Bears on Ice," Ministry of Culture and Information director Kurmangazy Isanayev told reporters. It is unclear what caused the bear to attack Potapov. Really? Well, it's clear to me. It's a bear. I've never seen a bear in the wild, but I'd guess that if I did, he wouldn't be smoking a cigar, wearing a top hat and ice skating. That's just a guess. Here's your Word of the Day... anthropomorphism Attribution of human motivation, characteristics or behavior to inanim...

It's after 1:00am and although I got home from the Phillies game about 30 minutes ago, I find it difficult to sleep - even though the alarm will go off at 5:30 this morning. This morning. Geez. It was a four-hour party at the ballpark last night, and save for a tense moment or two, it was a breeze. The Dodgers were never up to the challenge and even though they got to starter Cole Hamels, the middle of the lineup and the bullpen were too much for the guys from southern California. It's hard to describe why we get so worked up over the success of our sports teams, but we do. Maybe we think it represents us as a people or maybe we think that the team is a part of our identity? I don't know and don't particularly care, since the emotion is the only thing that matters. I think we just like to be right about something, and we've been right about this baseball team for a while now. I was there when the ballpark opened in 2004, when they won the division in 2007, for t...

I guess I can understand why some people don't like sports. Sports aren't for everyone. Some people consider football too violent, hockey too confusing, basketball too ethnic and baseball too dull. I beg to differ on baseball at least. Baseball requires thought and consideration, two attributes lacking in today's "give it to me quickly" world of product induced satisfaction. Microwave ovens and cell phones have replaced home-cooked meals and delayed communication as staples of life, for better or worse. That attitude has permeated sports, and baseball in particular. Baseball is seen by many as slow and ponderous, and a few years ago the powers that be considered several ways to speed up the game to make it more appealing to our short attention spans. Evolution is not a friend to the thinking mind, it seems. But I digress. Baseball games have become events and ballparks have become amusement parks. Every new one that is built has more distractions than the last...

I had a birthday on Friday. Not a big deal, or so I figured. Birthdays are big deals when we're kids and bigger deals when we're in our 80s. In mid-life, they're numbered occasions remembered by loved ones and retailers who send me coupons for 10-percent off a purchase this week. How nice. It's my birthday, so spend some money on myself. Thanks. To mark the occasion, I went home and got drunk, although I failed to drink 52 beers, but I did manage to consume more than my age in ounces, so I have that going for me. On Saturday, I treated myself to a Doug Stanhope show in Philly. He's a funny fuck, and I marked the occasion with shots of Jägermeister, stopping short of the fabled Jägerbomb , although it sounds good. Maybe next year. Or next week. The following is in need of German/English translation from my friend in Germania: Das ist des Jägers Ehrenschild, Daß er beschützt und hegt sein Wild, Weidmännisch jagt, wie sich’s gehört, Den Schöpfer im Geschöpfe ehrt. ...