My Sick Mind

Champing at the bit, faithful readers have been awaiting with baited breath my viewpoint on the first of several Netflix rentals that will come to my mailbox. The first, aptly titled F**k arrived earlier this week. Since my free time is consumed with blogging and exercise, allotting 90 minutes to watch a film is considered a bonus, and in this case, the bonus tim e was mostly wasted, and not as enlightening as I had hoped. The film is an interview style documentary centered around the use and interpretation of the "F-word". Several of my favorite people are in it: Drew Carey, Lenny Bruce, Janeane Garofolo, Hunter S. Thompson, Ice-T, Ron Jeremy, Tara Patrick and Billy Connelly. Their viewpoint is supposedly balanced by others on the right side, including Pat Boone, who claims to use his own surname as an expletive. Go figure. The film explores several of the word's uses, from music, film and comedy; and highlights the arrests and conviction of Lenny Bruce, while anointing...

The Masters Golf Tournament will have one hour of coverage on its Web site before the network telecast begins, an example of how new Augusta National chairman Billy Payne wants to see how new media can expand the tournament's audience. It starts April 5, so get your rest. It's called Amen Corner Live , after the famous part of the golf course. Woo hoo! Oh baby. I got a little 7-iron in my pants over that news. Unfortunately for Internet viewers, the extra hour involves lining up putts, bending over and bending back, taking practice swings, talking to the caddy, leaning on the club, marking the ball, cleaning the greens, asking for quiet, lining up the putt again, taking more practice swings, asking the caddy to repeat what he said before you started cleaning the green, asking for quiet and looking askance at the overall lay of the land. After that, it's a solid twelve minutes of heart-stopping PGA Golf-type action. Although, watching the ball in flight takes up some of tha...

I know you. You thought, "Oh, there goes Anthony, off on another one of his 'twisted society' rants." That's OK. I understand. Sometimes I get a little . .. aaaarrrrgggh ... about it all and it seems that maybe I go overboard in my pursuit of an angle for one of these posts. I understand. Every once in a while, though, I'm not all that far off on the old Twisted Society bit. Take those Police tickets I was ranting about before . Pretty expensive, huh? And that's just the regular price. I think I used the term "three times value" when I talked about buying them from ticket sellers. One of those ticket brokers stopped by the blog on Friday. Ticket Solutions , which seems to be another sort of oxymoron, or at the very least a contradiction in terms. The Solution for getting floor seats at Giants Stadium is to cough up $2,875 each for them. Uh Huh. You can click on that image to enlarge it, but make sure you have a full stomach and are seate...

THE NEWS: The Police are set to embark on their first tour in 23 years! To celebrate their 30th anniversary, Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland will trek through arenas and stadiums across North America this summer. I checked my thesaurus to see what words were synonyms for "trek", since it's an odd descriptive for anyone not traveling by foot. I found hike, tramp, slog, trail and trudge. That sounds like a lot of work. I sure hope they're being amply compensated. So, there I go, over to the Ticketmaster site (Circle 4 of The Nine Circles of Hell) to check out the ticket prices, to let me know how much celebrating I can do. Plus, I figure if the boys are going to trudge all over the United States, they had better be making enough money to afford gorp . At the aptly named Palace at Auburn Hills, the geezers are accepting $227, $92 and $82. That should be enough to keep them waist-deep in gorp, even at New York prices. At the Madison Square, the tickets start at...

An image captured by NASA's Cassini spacecraft February 4, 2007 and released on March 1, 2007 shows never-before-seen views of Saturn. (NASA/Handout/Reuters) Here we go, folks. Strap in and wait up for another little dose of crap coming straight from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the Home of the Shitty Little Shrub known as George W. Bush ... WASHINGTON - The government has missed all 34 deadlines set by Congress for requiring energy efficiency standards on everything from home appliances to power transformers, government auditors said Thursday. Two-thirds of the deadlines have yet to be met, although many of them are more than a decade old. Because of the failures, consumers and corporations stand to pay tens of billions of dollars more for energy than they would have if the deadlines had been met, the Government Accounting Office said. It's "a blistering indictment of a culture of incompetence and delay," said Rep. Edward Markey, D-Mass., said. Blistering indictment .....

I'm starting to look forward to my Netflix e-mail's. They're quite fun. The latest one was titled: Has F**K arrived? They were looking for my help to see if the DVD had arrived when they said it would - Tuesday - the day I thought I was getting f**ked, only I got f**k. As usual. Their query centered around having me tell them that I got it when they said I would. The question was simple: Please tell us when you received F**k , which was shipped to you on Monday, Feb 26, 2007. I got F**k. And now ... Here's why those precocious 5th Graders are smarter than some of us...

Q: Can you use isthmus in a sentence? A: Isthmus be my lucky day. Oh Luck, where is thy sting? Just like Brophy in High Anxiety , I run around all day yelling, "I got it! I got it! I got it! ... I ain't got it." Chrysler workers got the lucky sting today... DETROIT - Chrysler Group will offer all 49,600 hourly workers in the U.S. up to $100,000 to leave the company as part of a recovery plan announced earlier this month. The company, which lost $1.475 billion in 2006 and said it expects losses to continue through 2007, said on Feb. 14 it intends to shed 13,000 jobs, including 11,000 hourly positions and 2,000 salaried, as it tries to further shrink itself to match reduced demand for its products. That's interesting. Every worker gets up to $100,000. Great. Meanwhile, the CEO and his corner-office pals who were chiefly responsible for the bad product decisions and shabby marketing will probably get severances that are two hundred times that much. When times are go...

NEW YORK - Financial guru and best-selling author Suze Orman says she wishes she could marry her partner Kathy Travis, partly because it would save them both a lot of money. "Both of us have millions of dollars in our name," she told The New York Times Magazine in its Feb. 25 edition. "It's killing me that upon death, K.T. is going to lose 50 percent of everything I have to estate taxes. Or vice versa." In a wide-ranging interview, the host of CNBC's "The Suze Orman Show" talked about her seven-year relationship with Travis and her personal finances. With a liquid net worth of about $25 million and real estate holdings of $7 million, Orman said she enjoys spending money and playing the stock market. She said she has about a million dollars in the market, "because if I lose a million dollars, I don't personally care." Cool. Allow us to harken back to Sunday's post for a little perspective. Meanwhile, here's a wo...

The pink shading represents areas where slaves made up more than 30% of the population in 1860. RICHMOND, Va . - Meeting on the grounds of the former Confederate Capitol, the Virginia General Assembly voted unanimously Saturday to express "profound regret" for the state's role in slavery. That's great. A 150-year old apology. I guess that means that in the year 2157, the Texas legislature will gather and pass a resolution apologizing to the United States for George W. Bush. Sweet. Sponsors of the resolution say they know of no other state that has apologized for slavery. Umm ... there's a reason for that. The measure also expressed regret for "the exploitation of Native Americans." OK - well now , we're talking! But, you have to wonder if we have done enough for them since we took their land and killed most of them in the process. I guess all that coinage with their images on it, the sports teams gleefully named after them or the cool tracts of lan...

An unidentified homeless man rests against the wall inside the Washington, DC, subway system. The gulf between rich and poor in the United States is yawning wider than ever, and the number of extremely impoverished is at a three-decade high, a report out Saturday found. (AFP/File/Paul J. Richards) HERE'S ANOTHER BIG "THANK Y'ALL" TO THE BOYS IN WASHINGTON WASHINGTON (AFP) - The gulf between rich and poor in the United States is yawning wider than ever, and the number of extremely impoverished is at a three-decade high, a report out Saturday found. Based on the latest available US census data from 2005, the McClatchy Newspapers analysis found that almost 16 million Americans live in "deep or severe poverty" defined as a family of four with two children earning less than 9,903 dollars -- one half the federal poverty line figure. For individuals the "deep poverty" threshold was an income under 5,080 dollars a year. "The McClatchy analysis fo...