My Sick Mind

The Phillies lost tonight, extending their playoff series at least one more game into Sunday afternoon. For the most part, I don't watch local news, but I admit to being fascinated when it comes to things like sports. Generally, it's relegated to the last 15 minutes. When a team is closing in on a championship their perspective changes and the story becomes the lead. It's sad to watch people who, 11 months out of the year couldn't tell you who the left fielder was all of a sudden make the baseball team the most important part of their lives. On Fox 29, someone named Nefertiti Jaquez (that's right, her name is Nefertiti) proclaimed that the fans are looking forward to game 4 of the Division series because if they win, it will mean that they go to the League Championship Series. That's right. It's nice to tune into local news to hear the bloody obvious. Stick to the neighborhood house fires and leave sports to the people who follow it year-round. NBC10 sent Mo...

CNN conducted a national poll and found that Senator Biden won the vice presidential debate, but that Governor Palin "exceeded expectations." CNN also found that Palin topped Biden on likability, but Biden was viewed to be more qualified for the job . Exceeded expectations? What does that mean? If the people they surveyed thought she was going to stammer and fall down or crap her pants and she doesn't, she exceeded their expectations. I can only presume that most Americans think she's a boob (pun) and watched the debate to see her implode. Sorry that didn't happen, but it would have made great TV. Clearly, voters want to know. After the debate, searches spiked on " who won the vice presidential debate " and " who is the vp debate winner ." The Buzz contains a slew of analysis pieces on who came out on top, but like everything else in politics, the answer depends on who you ask . Why would someone who watched the debate do a web search to see w...

We don't get many chances to gloat around here, so forgive me while I gloat. Our Phillies have a two games to none lead over the heretofore pathetic Milwaukee Brewers in a best-of-five series that appears to be all over but the shouting. Last night we were doing the shouting as the heretofore hailed Ace of Baseball CC Sabathia (the CC stands for Can't Compete) was supposed to come in and shut down the Phillies because - well - he's CC Sabathia. What we found out, to the chagrin of the Brewers, was that Sabathia is not only human but worn out and rag-armed. One of the many good things about being in a playoff series against the Brewers is that there are precious little Brewers fans in the ballpark to ruin the fun. In this case however, it would have been nice to run into a few. It took a chance encounter in a local pub after the game to find two of them. "It isn't over," they told me. To which I replied, "Please - stop. It's over." They're...

You have no idea (or little idea) how interesting this blogging thing is. Not only did I receive a page hit (or three) over yesterday's post , I also received a hit from my buddies at Widener University - even though I'm not paying them anymore - over the mere fact that I earned a big-time degree at their fine institution. The sad part is that I probably won't be around to witness the excitement when the A'hole commenter returns to see the fruit of his labor. Shame. However, the reason I won't be around is good . The Phillies are in the National League divisional playoffs and yours truly (me) will be at the game on Thursday night. What gives me pause is the fact that I will not be around to watch the vice presidential debate between Joe Biden and Sarah (ahem) Palin. I happen to be in the Rachel Maddow camp when I say that I believe that Sarah is in a no-lose situation, much the same as a kid in T-Ball. Anything in fair territory is going to be viewed as a succes...

There is a Comcast Internet customer in or near Toms River, NJ who thinks I resemble a generally unseen portion of the human body. It could be an animal's body, but I think, as it is usually applied, it refers to a portion of human anatomy. I was puzzled at first, because I usually forget what I write (which makes reading my own blog more enjoyable) and because the reference was to a post I ran on June 25, 2006. So, I can be excused for not remembering it until I clicked on the link and re-read it. I was highly entertained. Here is an opportunity for you to be entertained, so click on this sentence to be transported back in time . Strangely, I get several page hits over the name of Sherry McGoldrick, presumably from trial lawyers who would like to represent her in her odd little incident at a Phillies game two years ago. The anonymous respondent, who refers to me in the third orifice, believes that my chastising Ms. McGoldrick was slightly out of line, or so I assume. (pun) Howe...

The chart above shows the value of the Standard & Poor's 500 from 1980 to today * As a frame of reference, I'll tell you that I have a bachelor's degree in accounting from Widener University. Just so you know. Over the past couple of days much hand wringing and teeth gnashing has been going on over the wild fluctuations in the U.S. stock market, brought about by the collapse of several banks and brokerages. The chart above shows the value of the S & P 500 from January 1, 2008 until today . When viewed on the short term, the thing looks like a train wreck, and your money is worth about 24% less than it was at the beginning of the year. Starting in 1994 however, you have an entirely different viewpoint. The Standard & Poor's index has a wild history. From 1994 to 1999, the S & P gained an average of 24.1% per year. In 2001 it lost 11.9% and in 2002 it lost 22.1%. The following two years would see it gain 28.9% and 10.8%, and 5%, 16% and 5% the next th...

WASHINGTON - Congressional leaders and the White House agreed Sunday to a $700 billion rescue of the ailing financial industry after lawmakers insisted on sharing spending controls with the Bush administration. The biggest U.S. bailout in history won the tentative support of both presidential candidates and goes to the House for a vote Monday . So let me see if I have this straight - because I think I do. A while ago, Congress debated ad nauseam over a stimulus payment to taxpayers that amounted to anywhere from $300 per person to $600, plus $300 for each dependent child. Eventually, they gave it to us, but some had to wait much longer than what was scheduled, and some payments were sent to the wrong people. Over the past couple of weeks , Congress debated (over a much shorter period) over a much larger amount of money - roughly $2,000 for each man, woman and child alive in the United States and $6,500 per family . None of the candidates for president suspended their campaign to deb...

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"ya know how they have great names for their ice cream? wonder what they would call theirs?" - Kimmyk asking what Ben & Jerry's would call breast milk ice cream Boobapalooza. Mamma Jamma. Dreamy Creamy. Share My Diseasescream. Leave a comment. I'm open to suggestions, and I'm sure the Ben & Jerry's people are too. Meanwhile... I'm getting scads of page hits over the Cornfield Palin post yesterday . Go figure. Tens of people have Google searched "Cornfield Palin" and wandered over here. I wish I could have thought of a joke to accompany the photo and story. Maybe Sarah is the joke? I tried to think of what an artist's medium would be for a Cindy McCain portrait. Ice sculpture? Driftwood? Maybe a Ben & Jerry's ice cream box ... Ice Queen Cream. Leave a comment. The first debate was tonight. I watched most of it with my friend from Ohio. Mostly, it was one guy telling the other guy that he is wrong about what he said and one gu...

Those screwy Ohioans are at it again. WHITEHOUSE, Ohio (AP) - You need to be airborne to fully appreciate a corny caricature of Sarah Palin near Toledo, Ohio. A 16-acre cornfield has been carved up in the likeness of the Republican vice presidential candidate to form a tourist attraction's fall corn maze. The Butterfly House in Whitehouse is owned by Duke Wheeler, who says Palin created a lot of excitement in the campaign and he was hoping to generate some for this year's maze. He says it took an artist from Idaho at least 8 hours to mow down corn stalks in a Palin pattern, complete with her familiar updo hairstyle and eyeglasses . I wonder if Cindy McCain feels slighted? After all, she's supposed to be the hot young babe trophy wife of the old-fart war hero, right? Or am I overstating it? That's the picture from here at 7pm on Thursday. An endless line of rain stretching from now until sometime Sunday. Probably right around sundown, so's to screw entirely with...

I was very tired when I got home from work tonight. So much so that I decided to plop down on the sofa (a rare event) and flip on the TV and let it entertain me. Easy, I thought. The obvious choice was the Phillies game. The Phils are in the midst of a pennant race that they seem bound and determined to milk to the very last day. With big rain storms coming, the weekend should be full of three hour rain delays and not a lot of baseball. During the telecast of the game, the cameras took us to The High and Inside Pub, a bar located inside Citizen's Bank Ballpark. I've been to the ballpark a hundred times and have walked past this place often. Every time I walk past I think the same thing : Why would someone pay for a ticket to the game and spend time sitting inside a bar watching the game on television? Then, over on ABC it was the David Blaine show where, for the three seconds I had it on, he was shown hanging upside down from a rope. The host muttered something about what ama...

When you're thinking about stupid stuff you could get arrested for, think about this: NEW YORK (AP) — New York City police arrested more than a dozen people for stealing pieces of Yankee Stadium during the 85-year-old ballpark's final game. Police said Tuesday that 18 fans were charged with possessing stolen property. Officers were out in force for the stadium's final game on Sunday to keep souvenir hunters from tearing away pieces of the place. Yankee spokesman Howard Rubenstein told the New York Post that they intend to hire a private security team to protect the stadium from other would-be thieves . They're tearing the place down in three months. What could people possibly steal that wouldn't otherwise be left for rubble? My guess is that they stole something that the Yankees figure they could put up on Ebay for money. Meanwhile, somebody put the cuffs on Mariano Rivera, seen here filling a plastic container with dirt from the pitcher's mound. It's one...

Some (most) of you don't appreciate the significance of Monday night. That's why I'm here. My entertainment habits are broken down into two categories - fact and fiction that is so unbelievable that it's capable of being true. That's why I was so drawn into Heroes . I missed out on the first season, and didn't get into it until midway through the second season. A friend at work loaned me the DVDs of first season of the show, and I watched all 16 hours in less than two weeks. That's how drawn-in I was over the story of ordinary people with extraordinary abilities. A few weeks ago I bought the second season. I finished watching it tonight, just in time for Monday's 3-hour third season premiere. For those of you who don't know anything about the show or would like to - Monday's premiere will be an hour of catch-up followed by a two hour episode. I'm guessing that the catch-up hour will be enough for the uninitiated to become fans. The wri...

WASHINGTON, DC - In a bid to shore up investor confidence in the face of the spiraling market crisis, the Securities and Exchange Commission temporarily banned all short-selling in the shares of 799 financial companies. Short selling is a time-honored method for profiting when a stock drops. The ban took effect immediately Friday and extends through October 2. The SEC said it might extend the ban - so that it would last for as many as 30 calendar days in total - if it deems that it is nec essary. You remember, several years ago, when the country was in the throes of an energy crisis? The thought-over solution proposed by the Bush administration was to extend Daylight Savings Time an extra six weeks - from March to November, making Standard Time practically non-existant. Now, with the country in the throes of an economic crisis, the Bush administration's solution was to ban short selling of financial stocks by stock traders. When a trader shorts a stock, he is aiming to profit f...

Too many people going underground. Too many people reaching for a piece of cake. Too many people bulled and pushed around. Too many waiting for that lucky break. - Paul McCartney, Too Many People As part of the humongous bailout of insurer American International Group, the federal government will lend the company up to a whopping $85 billion — of taxpayer money. It may seem like a risky investment, but some analysts say the government is likely to end up making a tidy profit from the deal through interest and stock profits. Others, like Peter Schiff, author of "Crash Proof: How To Profit From the Coming Economic Collapse" and president of Euro Pacific Capital, say the government has made a stupid move. "I think they will lose this money and more. This is not a good use of taxpayer money," Schiff says. "They're flushing $85 billion down the drain. Who knows how much more? I mean, I have no idea how much money AIG is going to lose. But the government is not...

Our local Comcast sports channel runs a pre and post-game show during every Eagles game. Last night I saw a promo for the show. In addition to the usual cast - Ike Reese, Ray Didinger, Vaughn Hebron and Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell (that's a topic for another day) ... the voice-over added "and the lovely Kathy Romano." There's no doubt that she is lovely. It's TV, so it's part of the reason she got the job. She does this thing called "Roaming With Romano" where she ... um ... roams around and talks to fans (guys) who probably shove each other out of the way for a shot to get close to her. That's not the point. The point is the "lovely" introduction. Is it sexist to introduce a woman as lovely if you aren't going to say something about the men on the show? Hebron is a nice looking guy, why don't they describe him as handsome? We (the societal we) feel compelled to describe women in a physical sense but men don...

As I was driving to work today, I saw a vacant lot with a sign proclaiming it to be the "Future home of [some] Church of Christ." The first thing I thought was, "aren't they all Christ's churches?" The second thing I thought was, "There goes another ratable ." Another currently taxable property is being turned over to a group who will develop it, use our resources and not pay taxes on the property. That started off the chain of thought that wondered about (a) why it was necessary to build another church and (b) the whole separation of church and state thing. The phrase separation of church and state is generally traced to a letter written by Thomas Jefferson in 1802 to the Danbury Baptists , in which he referred to the First Amendment to the United States Constitution as creating a "wall of separation" between church and state. The phrase was then quoted by the United States Supreme Court first in 1878, and then in a series of cases...

Something ain't right. I know it's still technically summer, in spite of school schedules and holidays, but it's stifling hot here today. Early this morning I figured I could get a quick bike ride in. "How bad could it be?" I wondered quietly to myself. It could be 80 degrees and 80 percent humidity. Within minutes I was soaked to the skin and struggling to breathe. Maybe it doesn't affect everyone like that, because I did see a few snakes and lizards crawling around, so I guess there's something wrong with me . Suffice it to say, I cut the ride way short and returned to the relative comfort of home. Humans are doomed by their freedom. We have opposable thumbs and the ability to choose, so we travel. We choose to live in places like New Orleans, Louisiana; Galveston, Texas and most of Florida where the weather kicks our asses on a regular basis. We put things back the way they were and resume our lives of denial. Meanwhile, penguins don't venture ...

The spinmeisters will be working overtime in McCain-ville. Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth more junk comes out. Here are a few excerpts from her interview with ABC’s Charlie Gibson: Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's assertion that she believes humans play a role in climate change — made in her first major interview since joining the Republican ticket — is at odds with her previous statements. Palin said she didn't disagree with scientists that the problem can be attributed to "man's activities." "Show me where I have ever said that there's absolute proof that nothing that man has ever conducted or engaged in has had any effect or no effect on climate change. I have not said that," Palin told ABC News in an interview broadcast Thursday and Friday . OK, since you asked: She has told the Internet news site Newsmax, " A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. ... I'm not one, ...

SHANKSVILLE, Pa. - Searching for an economic boost and home to perhaps the most compelling story of 9/11, rural Somerset County is trying to pull off a balancing act: Remembering the victims of United Airlines Flight 93 in a way that encourages development and job growth without devolving into tackiness and disrespect . I'm not sure about where you live, but around here we memorialize places where cars skid off the road and crashes occur with flowers and the occasional wooden cross. It's a morbid reminder of something horrible that happened. Now, construction is underway in the tiny town of Shanksville (heretofore a bypassed town off the Pennsylvania Turnpike) to build a memorial to Flight 93. We want to remember stuff like that, even though while we're there, we realize that we would rather forget it. Meanwhile, business in Shanksville is booming, presumably because tourists are turning off the Turnpike to gaze upon the sacred ground where the crash occurred. The idea...