Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The post-holiday stress of the day before another holiday manifests itself.

Today is New Year's Eve. What are we going to do? We're going to leave work as soon as possible (if we went to work at all), run home, get changed into that outfit that says "I'm not at work now" and run as fast as we can to some bar or nightclub where we'll join a bunch of strangers and count backward to midnight, then collapse in a heap.
That's a holiday.
Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are the only two days we celebrate that are "eve's." There's no Independence Day Eve or Easter Eve - that would be silly, right? What would you do on Independence Day Eve? Light a firecracker and blow it out? Easter Eve - shove some eggs up a rabbit's ass? Get the crucifix ready?
Of course, tonight is amateur night. It's like Christmas shopping. People who have no business in malls are out bumping into people and pretend they're shoppers. They go to the mall once a year. People go out on New Year's Eve out of obligation, and most of them have no idea how to drink.
"What are you doing New Year's Eve?" If you answer "Nothing," you look like a loser - even though you may be - you don't want people thinking you have no plans to get drunk and count backward. That's a social anathema, so you go out.
You have to go out! Why aren't you going out? Mostly, it's because I enjoy my driving privilege, I can't afford a limousine and the busses stop running at 10:00 pm.
It's interesting to me that, in a society that supposedly condemns driving while intoxicated, we spend a lot of time promoting a holiday where the sole purpose is getting hammered. The newspaper is littered with ads for New Year's Eve parties that feature 6-hour open bar and top-shelf liquor. Meanwhile, states are continuing to lower their legal blood-alcohol limits to the point where 3 beers constitutes DUI. Try going out and having 3 beers in 6 hours.
Be careful out there, because the roads will be full of DUI checkpoints, and those are real buzz kills.
Happy New Year! Your court date is February 2.

4 comments:

Kate Michele said...

Imma doin nada.

and i like it this way.

susan said...

I had a beautiful lunch with my folks, and am looking to spending good time on the couch, under my grandmother's afghan and watching TV with the cat.

It will be a good good night.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

Yeah I've never fully understood the appeal of New Year's Eve either. In recent years I've liked it only as a chance to see friends I haven't seen in awhile at a big gathering at someone's house.

Even then though we stay over the night so as not to have to worry about driving home.

Anonymous said...

Haha!! Your post made me laugh. It also sounds a bit like a friend of mine's recent post.

Good to know there are others out there who avoid NYE like the plauge, too.

My NYE? I knocked off work at 1pm, did some delicious book browsing, went home, did a heck load of writing, opened some champagne, considered whether I go out or not (I didn't) and thoroughly enjoyed my evening in.