Thirteen Things That Scare Me a LittleThe Christmas decorations are up at the local mall, but never mind that.
Tuesday is Hallowe'en.
1. Any letter from my Condo Association. It makes my heart skip a beat. Usually it's something really stupid that I'm not doing. Tell the people who are doing it and leave me alone.
2. Spam e-mail with T.M.I. I recently got a Spam message that contained my first and last name, from a Landon Nicholson (no relation) telling me that "Your history shows that your Viagra prescription is ready to be re-filled." Uh-huh. My personal history shows that I need Viagra like I need a hair dryer and a comb.
3. When the Boss says, "You got a minute?" He never calls me in to chit-chat.
4. Dying alone. I don't need to elaborate on that, except to say that if I needed Viagra, I wouldn't be worried about it.
5. George W. Bush with his hand on the Bible. I keep waiting for it to burst into flames.
6. My spin instructor. She's really hot, but she yells at us. I'm conflicted.
7. Bill O'Reilly. Letterman was right when he said, "60% of what you say is just crap." One day, that Alien creature will jump out of his stomach, I know it.
8. Kids in the gym. There's supposed to be a rule, no one under 12, but there they are, running around, generally making a nuisance of themselves. Shouldn't they be loafing and playing video games? Or playing tag in the schoolyard?
9. That Esteban guy. He sells the cheap guitars on the shopping channel. Anyone who wears sunglasses and a big hat indoors has some explaining to do.
10. KISS without the makeup. There's a good reason they wore it. Hell of a Hallowe'en costume, guys. Now, put the makeup back on.
11. When the phone rings after midnight or before 7am. Nothing good comes from a phone call at those hours. It can only mean someone has had an accident, is dead, is in the hospital or needs to be bailed out.
12. The buzzer on my clothes dryer. It means I have to fold clothes. Scary.
13. Driving in front of a police car. I'm obeying all the rules, but having that car behind me is frightening. They should have a light that means "you're doing great" to go with the red and blue ones that mean I've screwed up.
2. Spam e-mail with T.M.I. I recently got a Spam message that contained my first and last name, from a Landon Nicholson (no relation) telling me that "Your history shows that your Viagra prescription is ready to be re-filled." Uh-huh. My personal history shows that I need Viagra like I need a hair dryer and a comb.
3. When the Boss says, "You got a minute?" He never calls me in to chit-chat.
4. Dying alone. I don't need to elaborate on that, except to say that if I needed Viagra, I wouldn't be worried about it.
5. George W. Bush with his hand on the Bible. I keep waiting for it to burst into flames.
6. My spin instructor. She's really hot, but she yells at us. I'm conflicted.
7. Bill O'Reilly. Letterman was right when he said, "60% of what you say is just crap." One day, that Alien creature will jump out of his stomach, I know it.
8. Kids in the gym. There's supposed to be a rule, no one under 12, but there they are, running around, generally making a nuisance of themselves. Shouldn't they be loafing and playing video games? Or playing tag in the schoolyard?
9. That Esteban guy. He sells the cheap guitars on the shopping channel. Anyone who wears sunglasses and a big hat indoors has some explaining to do.
10. KISS without the makeup. There's a good reason they wore it. Hell of a Hallowe'en costume, guys. Now, put the makeup back on.
11. When the phone rings after midnight or before 7am. Nothing good comes from a phone call at those hours. It can only mean someone has had an accident, is dead, is in the hospital or needs to be bailed out.
12. The buzzer on my clothes dryer. It means I have to fold clothes. Scary.
13. Driving in front of a police car. I'm obeying all the rules, but having that car behind me is frightening. They should have a light that means "you're doing great" to go with the red and blue ones that mean I've screwed up.
26 comments:
You are so funny!!!
Personally I think about 95% of what O'reilly says is crap!!!
Phone calls in the middle of the night scare me more than my reflection in the mirror in the morning!! Whoaaa!!!
Maybe you like the controlling aspect of your hot instructor?? Is it a turn on? Is that why your conflicted....lol..... I guess if its a turn on it would answer the whole Viagra question so then your not conflicted about that!!
Love this list!! That last linked picture was certainly scary. And folding laundry scares me too.
I also have an irrational fear that my kids will stop breathing. I have gotten up in the middle of the night on several occasions to go check their breathing. It's a fear like none I have ever experienced BK (before kids).
Kate: Honestly, when she yells at us, I imagine it in a sexual way. Especially when she says "faster - faster" and "Keep it up!"
Pam: I do the same thing with the cat. He sleeps a lot.
That last picture is a real person, unfortunately.
Demeanor: Always stand behind an old person with a gun.
I had a HELL of a day, got home to find Dad had been stuck on the porch for GOD knows how long, the effing dog is doing the shiba bark at me and I just gave myself a headache giving him one good yell to SHUT UP (sounds bad, but it's the only thing that works)! Then I read #5 and laughed my fool head off! I'm STILL laughing thinking about it. Thanks!
Love the list! Thanks for stopping by mine!
That list is scary!! Especially when you have to fold laundry. That scares me too! :)
I've tried FOUR times to leave a comment here.........#13 almost makes me do things wrong...
Happy TT!
#10 and #11 are honestly the two things I find most disturbing on your list.
Why Kiss found it necessary to show us what was behind their make-up is beyond me...
I've only had about 3 phone calls during those hours in my entire life...none of them good.
Great list!
4 and 11 scare me. Every phone call at that hour means trouble.
Happy TT!
great!
now I am so scared I don 't think I'll be able to sleep.
LOL
great list that I do agree with....well, I do n't have homeowners' association to be afraid of.
MY TT is up now.
Bill Oreily will be on Oprah today. I'm scared my TV will explode, even if I turn the channel.
Love the list. GWB and the bible bursting into flames. So funny.
I had a cop car behind me this morning, I was within the limit and he overtook and broke the limit. How I wished I had a blue light and could have nabbed him.
Number 10--good one!
Anthony, that was really a perfect list, part emotional, part disturbing and sad and very very funny! How did you do that, you've got talent boy! Loved it. Loved the scary dryer buzzer. I hate folding laundry.
Have a great Halloween! See ya!
Happy Thursday too almost the weekend!
Candy-who has a list about lists?
http://gnosticminx.blogspot.com/2006/10/top-100-art-players.html
Lovely list! the spooky ones are making me all nervous, lol!
Wow, what a great list! You're definitely onto something!!
You forgot to mention Esteban's unusually long, non-masculine fingernails. For which to pluck, I suppose.
I always thought the phone calls that came between midnight and 7am were Booty Calls. Maybe it's just me... ::wink::
Great TT! I share some of the same fears!
I love the list. The pumpkin picture scares me a little.
Since when does the dryer buzzer mean you HAVE to fold the clothes therin. I mean isn't that what the dewrinkle setting is for? I'd rather run with scissors. Playing tag.
seriously, #13 was the scariest of all! I think they follow you sometimes because they know it scares you!
How funny!
Great list. Very funny. I think a few of those things scare me a little too.
Happy TT!
HA! Great list!
I'm with ya on #3,4,5 scares the bejezzus out of me,11,12, and 13.
I am the best driver when a cop is around. Seriously.
Great pumpkin picture!
I love this list, too. I can especially relate to #3.
Thanks for the Thursday chuckle!
These were great...and I loved the picture you used at the beginning. I HATE driving with a policeman behind me...I got stopped once for having the little light that shines on my license plate out. He acted like he was going to maybe give me a ticket over that...sheesh
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