The bad news and the worse news.

Every year, rain or shine, I get my annual (that's what makes it every year) Social Security Benefits Statement from the friendly folks at our Federal government. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a warning or a message of support, but I always take it as a warning. I'm funny that way.
For those of you who don't already know, I'm 50 years old, in spite of where I shop. My choice of retail clothing establishments does not figure in on the estimated value of my retirement benefits. Shame.
I found at least one portion of the statement interesting. If I work until age 62 (egad), my monthly payment would be $1,332 a month, or roughly enough to qualify for free government cheese and an occasional free clinic visit. That's if I work another 12 years. If however, I should have a house fall on me or get hit by a stray asteroid particle and become "permanently disabled," I could collect $1,843 a month. So go figure.
As an able-bodied [almost] senior citizen, I'm entitled to $1,332. As a disabled hunk of protoplasm, taking up space better suited for others and entirely on the government dole, I would collect an extra $500.
Somebody get me a hammer and a wheelchair.

Comments

Kate Michele said…
This shit scares the shit out of me.
July 28, 2008 at 9:01 PM
Anthony said…
I'm not sure which scares me more ... being permanently disabled or reaching retirement age.

It's a close race these days.
July 28, 2008 at 9:03 PM
Anonymous said…
What happens if your disabled when your a senior? Do you get double? Win-win??

I'd rather be old than be disabled.

I'm sure you can still rock the AE jeans when you're 60. Sadly, those shirts I'll never be able to rock. Especially the ones with the witty sayings. Or well, I won't even be able to rock a sweatshirt with the AE and eagle on it. Damnit.
July 28, 2008 at 10:18 PM
Anonymous said…
OMG, I'll have to shop at like Kohl's or somethin.

Double damnit.
July 28, 2008 at 10:19 PM
Anthony said…
Kimmy, I think you'd still pull off the AE stuff ... I saw that video.

Hubba hubba.
July 28, 2008 at 10:24 PM
Sparky Duck said…
Im 15 years and 700 bucks behind, is that good or bad?
July 28, 2008 at 10:33 PM
Handsome B. Wonderful said…
Yeah I'm only getting $400 a month even though I've been deemed permanently disabled from my mental illness.

Since I became disabled at an early age I don't have much money to draw upon each month. It sucks that I became disabled so young. I might have been able to at least hit the $1,000 mark in SS money.

I'm tired of being punished for my condition. I didn't choose this, I didn't choose to be disabled at such a young age....

Sorry I'm whining on your blog. I'll stop. :)
July 29, 2008 at 12:51 PM
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