Too err is human

Believe it or not, both of these people are bipedal primates. The one on the right is Manuel Uribe, tipping the scales at 1,234 pounds, seen here at his home in 2006. He will be listed as the world's fattest man by the Guinness Book of Records. Another of life's great achievements. On the left is model Nina von C wearing underwear creations on the catwalk of the Bodylook fashion show within the IGEDO fashion fair.

Both were born of the same species, yet took vastly different paths in life to yield the results we see here. Nina von C. Even her name is skinny.

Strange, isn't it?

When I am in doubt about the fate of mankind, I turn to the animals. What I see is that, when left to their own fate, animals know what is best for them. The so-called domesticated animals - dogs and cats - are the ones who wind up fat and out of shape. The hand of man conspires to turn otherwise weight-conscious animals into blobs of fur that roll as fast as they can walk.

Ever see a fat squirrel? Me neither. They prefer to store their nuts rather than eat them. Squirrels don't order take-out from Chinese places at 9 at night or pull into the drive-thru at Wendy's after the bar closes because they're "open late". They don't eat table scraps and 50-pound bags of kibble. They get plenty of exercise dodging cars and climbing trees, too. Maybe we don't see the fat ones because they can't run fast enough to escape the mini-vans?

Now, just to prove that you have seen everything, this is the sign in front of the local veterinary clinic. That's right, there's a diet pill for dogs now. Fido's fat. Take a pill, just like his owner. (Pay no attention to the tiny cat and dog heads resting in the disembodied hand.)

So, there ya go. Check one more thing off the list of stuff you thought you'd never see. And, for the record, no ... this is not Kitty's Vet. Hurry ... sign Fido up ... he's getting fatter every day. If the pill doesn't work, I guess they can always staple his stomach shut.

I can't believe I haven't seen TV commercials for this:

Ask your dog if Slentrol is right for you. If he answers, maybe a fat dog isn't your biggest problem.