Friday, August 3, 2007

The Klotzbach and Gray Show

FORT COLLINS, Colorado - Hurricane researcher William Gray lowered his 2007 forecast slightly Friday, calling for 15 named storms. On May 31, Gray was calling for 17. Philip Klotzbach, a member of Gray’s team at Colorado State University said, "We've lowered our forecast from our May predictions because of slightly less favorable conditions in the tropical Atlantic.”
…and … because … it’s August. How about you wait until October and revise the number again?

And now, live from the beautiful campus of Colorado State University, it’s The Klotzbach and Gray show, starring Bill Gray and Phil Klotzbach. Tonight’s musical guest is Maroon 5!

May 31, 2007 Colorado State University:
William, I’m home! It’s getting late. We should do that hurricane thingy.
GRAY: Allright! Let me finish my coffee.
KLOTZBACH: They’re going to want a number. Chevron called and they need an excuse to start raising oil prices.
GRAY: Let’s go with 17. I wore number 17 when I played Little League.
KLOTZBACH: Wow. That sounds like a lot. Are you sure?
GRAY: Sure? We’re meteorologists!
TOGETHER: Hahahahahahahaha!

Two months later, Bill and Phil are at it again:

August 1, 2007:
Hey, Phil; you remember that number we threw out in May?
KLOTZBACH: The one where I said I could get 85 Tic Tacs in my mouth at once?
GRAY: No, jackass. The hurricane number.
KLOTZBACH: Oh, that one. I didn’t write it down.
GRAY: Well, I did. It was 17.
KLOTZBACH: Well, there’s only been, like … 3 … so I guess we’re going to be a little high.
GRAY: I was thinking we should change it.
KLOTZBACH: No kidding. But, aren’t we going to have to explain ourselves?
GRAY: We’ll say a bunch of technical stuff like “isobars” and “cumulonimbus.” They won’t know.
KLOTZBACH: How about this? Sea surface temperature anomalies have cooled across the tropical Atlantic in recent weeks, and there have been several significant dust outbreaks from Africa, signifying a generally stable air mass over the tropical Atlantic.
GRAY: Genius! You could sell a push-up bra to Dolly Parton!
KLOTZBACH: 15 it is!
TOGETHER: [pounding the table] Fif-teen! Fif-teen! Fif-teen! Fif-teen!
GRAY: Great. Now, write this one down. We’ll take another look around Labor Day.

And now, ladies and gentlemen; Maroon 5!
free music


kimmyk said...

OMG. You nut!

I'd hope that's now how they figure all that technical stuff out. 15?

I don't Maroon 5 btw.

Anthony said...

Nice to see you're back from Idaho!

We used to do junk like that when i was in high school - little made-up dialogues. Much more fun than schoolwork.

Sparky Duck said...

Hell, I am just glad you used the correct logo for C.S.U.