Have Yourself a Heathen Little Christmas

Wow - all that emotional soul-searching over the past week ... I need a break ... and maybe you do, too. What I really need is a vacation. Maybe soon.

Meanwhile, 'tis the season for arguing about religion, and what better center of controversy than Christmas. There's another of these Falwell things going on. I thought he faded from view - but like a case of herpes, he returns.

And, this:

Two weeks ago, the Marine Reserves Toys for Tots program in Los Angeles overcame concerns about accepting a donation of 4,000 talking Jesus dolls that quote Bible verses by promising to make sure the dolls reach Christian children.

Sure. Nothing like preaching to the choir, as it were. So, do the kids have to fill out an application, or do their parents vouch for their kids' Christian beliefs? Would you rather your child run around repeating "booty bitch" or spouting Bible verses? I think booty bitch is way more entertaining, especially at the holidays!

"Pass the cranberry sauce."

"Get it yourself, booty bitch!"

Ah ... the choices! Unless, of course, they're little Christian Nazis:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German chain of shops has removed miniature wooden Santa Claus figures from its shelves and destroyed them after customers complained it looked like they were giving the stiff-armed Hitler salute that is outlawed.

Never mind that most people, including the merchant, said that the Santa statue was merely pointing at the sky. I suppose it's all a matter of perspective. Here are some other great issues confronting American society. For the full stories, click on the blue thing:

HILLSBORO, N.H. - A Christmas controversy is brewing in Hillsboro after a church was kicked out of the upcoming community-wide celebration. It all has to do with a pastor's plan to read "The Night Before Christmas" along with a Bible passage.

DENVER - In a town in scenic southwestern Colorado homeowners are battling over whether a Christmas wreath that includes a peace sign is an anti-Iraq war protest or even a promotion of Satan. “We have had three or four complaints. Some people have kids in Iraq and they are sensitive,” said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He also said some believe it is a symbol of Satan.

Southfield, Michigan officials hope the city's diverse groups will be comfortable with a municipal display that includes a menorah, a nativity scene and other symbols "reasonably related" to the holidays.

CHICAGO, Ill - A Nativity display has a spot at this year's holiday celebrations in Daley Plaza. So does an Islamic crescent and a Jewish menorah. But clips from a film celebrating the birth of baby Jesus are too much for the Christkindlmarket, a Christmas festival held at the plaza for more than 10 years. Stung by criticism that the film's maker was dropped as a sponsor to ensure the event appealed to all faiths, city officials said Tuesday they objected to "The Nativity Story" because it was too commercial.

Too commercial? Christmas? WTF is Christmas for if not to drum up holiday retail sales? That's the pot calling the kettle black.
I could go on, but you get the picture. Nothing stirs up the Christian/Secular war like Christmas. It strikes me as odd, since Christmas has nothing to do with Christianity, but it somehow got bought out by the church so many years ago that even history is blurred. I suppose it helps them raise money, since all of these so-called Christian groups have a Donate spot on their web site somewhere.

It's surprising to me that the cynical nature of the general public hasn't caught up with these nut-jobs. We are bombarded on all fronts by people asking for money for whatever charity is the most recently needy among them. The church has figured out that the guilt angle works quite well in these cases. The tithing rules that are foist upon their parishoners (a.k.a. sources of funding) give them cause to fight their guilty feelings by pledging ten or fifteen percent of their salary to a church that does little but inflict guilt and raise Hell. Or, as they would say, putting the money to God's use.

Not to mention (but I will anyway) that the church is so insecure that they feel like they have to fight the rest of society over displays and such nonsense as whether people say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas". If they are so insecure about their flock straying over a holiday, maybe Christmas isn't their biggest problem. But, God forbid, they lose a source of funding.

Piss them off and give some money to one of these AIDS charities, the ONE organization, The Nature Conservancy or your local Public Broadcasting Station. Put your money toward something that can make our lives better, not something that only creates havoc and controversy.

Something tells me that if we hit religion in the pocketbook, they might decide to shut up for five minutes and allow the rest of us to enjoy a holiday.