Fear This

If Franklin Roosevelt was right when he said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself", then we have a lot to be afraid of.

It was easy for him to say, sitting in the White House, drawing a nice salary during the Depression and being in charge of the free world and all. The wheelchair notwithstanding, the level of fear he may have felt paled in comparison to the level being felt by people who couldn't rustle up three cents to buy bread.

That was 73 years ago, and we are still in fear. Granted, the fear is different than the fear we feel now, but if "fear itself" is the enemy, then perhaps the specifics don't matter? Fear itself can also be a great motivator, so we shouldn't underestimate its value. Fear can be a useless emotion (closely related to guilt) or it can be the fuel that feeds the ego. Whatever it is, it may be, in addition to desire, the single biggest influence on our lives - both negatively and positively.

If we can make fear work to our advantage, then the feeling can be useful, but if we allow it to control our lives it can be limiting to the point that our lives will continue on, uninterrupted by happenstance. We allow ourselves no other road than the one we travel day after day, for fear of getting lost or wandering into a circumstance that we cannot control. We feel as though we need control over our lives, and losing it makes us think, and we don't like to think.

"Take a chance", people tell us. Our response is generally the negative, "what if it doesn't work out?" What we should be thinking is, "what if it does?" But then, our fear would be unfounded and we would have to deal with the possible side-effects of happiness which would include not having fear and trusting our emotions and our instincts. Emotions and instincts are the natural enemies of fear. If we continued to trust our emotions and instincts, fear would be a minor consideration, because our lives would be controlled not by fear, but by the rationalization of our thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes I think we are happy being miserable, as long as things don't change too much.

I am not saying that we should ignore fear altogether. Certain fears are warranted and even useful at times. We should fear people with weapons (when we have none) and our bosses, who at their whim, hold our future in their hands. However, the fears that may be useless or baseless are the fears that are based in complacency. Our job stinks, but we are afraid to find another one. Our relationship stinks, but we are afraid to get out. We are afraid to tell people how we really feel, because they may not feel the same way. We don't discipline our children for fear that they will think we are rotten people.

Use fear to release your emotions and take a chance in life once in a while. Chances are that you are either smart enough or good enough that whatever fear you had will be resolved as the situation comes to a conclusion. If you face your fears, the upside is that you will be happy. The downside is that you will feel no worse than you already feel.

Find someone you feel strongly about and tell them you love them. Quit your job and find something that will make you happy. Take a different path in life and face fear. You will be happier and there will be one less thing with control over your life.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
- Dorothy Thompson