How to Spell Miserable Failure

R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C-A-N

Some of the grand schemers in this so-called party (I've been to parties, and this ain't one) would lead us to believe that America is the land of great morality. It is what we want, since twice we have elected someone who stands for the great morality that the party leaders preach. Never mind that the guy is a former coke-head and alcoholic. That's in his past. We're talking about the present. OK, so let's.

UNMARRIED HOUSEHOLDS OUTNUMBER MARRIED ONES IN U.S.

WASHINGTON (AFP) - It is by no means dead, but for the first time, a new survey has shown that traditional marriage has ceased to be the preferred living arrangement in the majority of US households. The findings, which were released in August but largely escaped public attention until now because of the large volume of data, indicated that marriage did not figure in nearly 55.8 million American family households, or 50.2 percent.
36.7 million belonged to a category described as "nonfamily households," a term that experts said referred primarily to gay or heterosexual couples cohabiting out of formal wedlock.

Ooops. Gee, it seems that maybe people don't want to be married, unless they're gay. Non-family households? I thought that "Family Values" were one of your themes? Shouldn't they be increasing? I guess not. What was that you said?

"We stand for a culture of life in which every person matters, every being counts. We stand for marriage and family, which are the foundations of society. We stand for the Second Amendment."

-- Dubya offers here an interesting combination of support for family values and firearms, Portsmouth, Ohio, Sept. 10, 2004

Oh well, what's one little slip-up in policy? But we must be influencing Americans on the ideas of not using drugs, right?

STUDY FINDS CAFFEINE ABUSE AMONG YOUNG AMERICANS

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Young Americans searching for a legal high or just trying to stay alert may be abusing caffeine pills, sending some to the hospital, a study said on Monday. The average age of those who had abused caffeine supplements over the course of the three years studied was 21. The research did not involve caffeine drinks such as coffee or cola.

"Part of the problem is that people do not think of caffeine as a drug but rather as a food product," said Dr. Danielle McCarthy, who led the Northwestern University study.

"And so here's our goal, here's the goal by which we'll be measured - here's the goal which I'll be measured first, and then John will definitely be measured if I'm measured."
-- Dubya announces drug control strategy, White House, Feb. 12, 2002

Well, I'm sure that drug control strategy only concerned the illegal drugs, right? After all, if people are addicted to prescription drugs or use over-the-counter drugs, they must be OK. Maybe the president isn't supposed to be measured?

But, at least the people we are electing to office are above reproach, right?

FBI RAIDS HOMES OF WELDON, CHILD & FRIEND

MEDIA, Pa - The FBI raided the homes of Rep. Curt Weldon's (R-PA) daughter and a close friend Monday in an investigation of whether the congressman improperly helped the pair win lobbying and consulting contracts.
Agents searched four locations in the Philadelphia area and two in Jacksonville, Fla., said Debbie Weierman, an FBI spokeswoman in Washington. The congressman's home and his offices were not among the locations searched, she said.

I suppose that's only fair, since the guy is a 10-term Representative. Yes, ten terms. So, why would we think that he would use the name of Weldon to help his daughter get some big contracts? He must be innocent, since we only elect people of the highest moral character in the post-Clinton era. But at least the guy is a schooled expert on foreign policy.

Well, c'mon, it's only the FBI. How serious can it be? Oh, wait ... wasn't Weldon the guy who said North Korea was going to give up on nuclear weapons? Maybe it was in January of 2005?

19 January 2005 -- A senior member of the U.S. Congress has returned from a visit to communist North Korea with a relatively optimistic assessment of prospects for ending the international dispute over its nuclear capability.

Curt Weldon (Republican, Pennsylvania), vice chairman of the House of Representatives' Armed Services Committee, told journalists in Tokyo that he believes Pyongyang is serious about abandoning its nuclear program.

Well, I guess a guy can't be right all the time? Anybody for eleven terms? He's in a battle with Joe Sestak on November 7. Let's hope that the good people of the 7th district make the right decision this time. One out of eleven?

But I should relax. At least the economy, environment and the War in Iraq are in good shape.

Oh.

Thanks to dubyaspeak for the wonderfully appropriate quotes. Stop by for a chuckle.